


The Only Choice

by ScullysRightEyebrow



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Between Episodes, Episode: s07e17 All Things, Episode: s08e021 Existence, F/M, Post-Episode: s07e17 All Things, Resolved Sexual Tension, Season/Series 07, Season/Series 08
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2018-06-10 04:26:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 76,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6939670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScullysRightEyebrow/pseuds/ScullysRightEyebrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Multi-chapter, between the scenes story that follows Mulder and Scully through the events of All Things to Existence and beyond.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Only Choice

**Author's Note:**

> This story will show how things progressed between the scenes, at least how it happened in my head. It will be mostly canon compliant with the exception of a few times that I just couldn't take it! Will continue slightly beyond Existence but will not include season 9 (because of pain). 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Mulder and Scully. If I did, I would have treated them better.

What if there were only one choice and all the others were wrong? 

The thought rattled around in Dana Scully’s sleep addled brain as she slowly regained consciousness. It was the last thing she remembered from her and Mulder’s earlier conversation and she wished she hadn’t drifted off. There were things she wanted to tell him. Her life may not have changed in one day, but her perspective on it certainly had. 

For the first time, she had no doubts when it came to Mulder. He was her only choice. And there had been signs along the way. Sometimes it felt like every day of their lives was a sign. They had always been close. Since their first case together, they had formed some sort of attachment that defied explanation. They were just Mulder and Scully. Partners. Best Friends. Undeniable sexual tension, but for the time being, purely platonic. Always the hope that maybe someday they would be something more. 

But things had been different between them lately. Someday was now. 

For her, things started to become clearer with the Padgett incident. Of course the whole thing was terribly embarrassing, but his words rung true. Agent Scully is already in love. She wasn’t even surprised when she heard the words aloud. Of course she was in love. She realized in that moment that she had always loved Mulder. It was a love that evolved over time. What started as love due to initial attraction and infatuation had grown to a love rooted in trusted friendship. It was a love of support and partnership. A partnership that went way beyond work colleagues. Their love was in having each other’s back, in honesty and truth, in laughing together and crying together, and in being there for each other. 

Scully smiled at the thought as she snuggled closer into the blanket that Mulder had wrapped so lovingly around her. She was in love with Mulder and she knew that he felt the same. Although he never told her, she knew. One fault of their relationship was verbal communication, but he showed her in so many ways. 

She thought of their excursion to the baseball field, another major step in leading them to this moment. Scully remembered how loved she felt with his arms wrapped around her in the guise of playing baseball. She remembered how it felt to have his body pressed so tightly against her own. She had wanted to stay in that moment forever. If she was honest with herself, she had thought that things might have gone further that night, but in the end he had only bought her a milk shake and they parted ways. 

And then she had almost lost him. She thought that she was going to lose him. But instead she got a faith rocking trip to Africa and an awkward hallway conversation. No, the conversation wasn’t awkward, the conversation was painful and beautiful and heartfelt and illuminating; her reaction to the conversation was what was awkward. She had felt lost, but Mulder’s words were exactly what she needed to hear to calm her anxieties. He held her face and poured his heart out to her. He was basically telling her that she was his world and all she could do was run. She had grazed her thumbs over his lips and she wanted to kiss him. She should have kissed him but she was afraid. She loved him so much and it was terrifying. 

Luckily, it didn’t take long for him to make the move that she had been so afraid to make. They had kissed each other’s faces countless times, but New Year’s Day 2000 was the first time that she had felt his lips on hers. It was unexpected and chaste, but neither made the move to end it too soon. When it finally ended, he remarked that the world didn’t end and she truly felt that he was right; it wasn’t the end, it was the beginning. They walked out with his arm around her, she drove him home, and that was it, but she knew that something had changed that night. She felt it in the electricity of their kiss. They were no longer in stasis; they were finally on their way somewhere. 

It wasn’t long after this revelation that the moment came that could make them or break them. Asking Mulder to be her sperm donor was one of the most frightening moments of her life. There were so many ramifications of him saying yes or no. Either option would irrevocably change their relationship. Him saying yes made her love him even more, but also left her with so many questions. Did he want to be just a donor or a father? Would they be a family or parent separately? Once again their lack of communication was rearing its ugly head, but in the end it didn’t matter. She had one shot at the in-vitro and it didn’t work. They wouldn’t have a child together and that was that. She had tried to hold it together. She had tried to be strong, but in the end she just collapsed into his embrace. 

He held her. He kissed her forehead. He spoke of miracles. She wanted to kiss him in that moment. She almost did, but in the end her grief subverted her and her lips landed instead on his cheek before she was back in the safety of his arms. They held each other for a long time, with Scully never truly knowing that he shared her grief. How it was his loss as well. She didn’t know how he dreamed of having a family with her. He decided not to tell her. He didn’t want to worsen her grief. Instead Mulder remained silent and settled her on the couch while he went to make her some tea. 

Scully’s tears ended but numbness took their place and she fell back into her old habit of closing herself off. She told Mulder to go, told him she was fine, but to her relief he saw right through her and refused to leave, instead settling down on the couch with her and pulling her close. Scully gave in and laid her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes and drawing comfort from him. Eventually he began to lie down on the couch, pulling her with him. She tried to protest, but he would not hear it. She laid down with him, her back to his front and sighed softly when his arm wrapped protectively around her waist. They were both emotionally exhausted and it didn’t take long for them each to fall into a deep sleep. When Scully woke, it was morning and she was still in Mulder’s arms. It was the first time they slept together. 

The next time they slept together it was in Mulder’s bed. The loss of his mother hit him hard and she had refused to leave him that night. It killed her to see him in such pain and she didn’t know what to do to help him. All she could do was hold him when he cried, try to calm him when his paranoid rants got the best of him, and patiently watch as he paced the apartment. After hours, she finally convinced him to go to bed. Once he laid down she pulled the covers over his body before reaching up to stroke her fingers through his hair reassuringly. Scully was about to turn to leave when he reached his hand out for her. The look in his eyes told her that he needed her and she couldn’t deny him. Crossing to the other side of the bed, she climbed under the covers with him. He immediately reached for her and she scooted closer, wrapping her arm around him and holding him as tightly as he was holding her. He nuzzled his face into her neck and she felt his tears on her skin. She kissed his temple and squeezed him tighter, wishing she could take away his pain. 

In the aftermath of the death of his mother and the revelation about his sister, Scully was afraid that Mulder would withdraw, lost in his grief, but on the contrary, he was lighter, freer. He finally had some semblance of closure to his life’s mysteries and Scully wondered if that might be the push they needed to finally be together.

These had all been the big moments that had led Scully to her revelation, but there had also been so many small ones along the way. Mulder had begun insisting on weekly movie nights, but most nights the movie was ignored in favor of talking, teasing, and flirting. The flirting had really been out of control lately. She liked to believe that Mulder was always the instigator but then she remembered her tendency to play with his tie as of late. The gazing was also out of control. In the past she had often felt his eyes on her for extended periods of time, and she knew that she was guilty of the same crime, but lately it seemed to happen all the time! And not just when she was looking away. The ogling was also becoming a thing. He definitely seemed to be checking her out more often, not even trying to hide it when she caught him staring at her breasts or legs or butt. Maybe he was checking her out more because she had taken to wearing lower cut blouses and slightly shorter skirts. Or maybe she was wearing those things because he was checking her out more. Either way, she couldn’t deny that it sent a thrill down her spine when she saw him watching her. 

She shook her head with a smile just thinking about Mulder and events that had led them here. Of course they weren’t all good. She knew that she hurt him when she went off with the Smoking Man, and it hurt her that he couldn’t understand why she did it. She also knew that she’d been impatient with him at work lately, culminating in him going to England without her. But being with him tonight, talking about fate and destiny side by side on his couch, Scully knew that any hard feelings were behind them. She knew that she was where she was supposed to be. She knew that he was her choice. And she knew that she wanted him: heart, body, and soul.

They had both been waiting for the other to make the move that would finally set them down that path, and Scully decided then and there that she was tired of waiting for him to do it. She felt a surge of courage, and desire, as she stood from the couch to face his bedroom door. It was pulled ajar, not shut, as if he left it as an invitation to her. 

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Although she knew without a doubt that he would not reject her, Scully felt her stomach bubble with nervousness. This would be the moment that would change their relationship for good. 

She took one more deep breath and opened the door.


	2. The Night Before

A small bedside lamp provided the only light in the room, illuminating the figure of Mulder asleep on top of the covers. He wore a t-shirt and pajama pants and the book that he had been reading had dropped to rest on his chest. His head had fallen back against the pillow and he emitted soft snores through his slightly agape mouth. Scully smiled at the sight and sound of him, overcome for a moment with love for the man. 

She moved softly into the room on her stocking clad feet and removed her suit jacket, folding it and placing it on his dresser. She glanced into the adjoining mirror and ran her fingers through her hair, trying to erase any trace of bed head while still making it look looser and freer than her usual work hairdo. As she leaned in to check the condition of her makeup, she heard a voice from behind her.

“Hey,” Mulder said softly with a hint of sleep in his voice.

“Hey,” she replied, turning to see him sitting up on the side of the bed, “I didn’t mean to wake you.” Lie, she told herself. She’d had every intention of waking him. 

“It’s okay; you’re not leaving are you? It sounds like the weather is getting a little rough.”

“I’m not leaving,” she said with a smile. “Ever again,” her heart added silently. 

“Good,” he replied with his own smile, giving her one of those gazes of his that made her heart skip a beat. 

After a moment of comfortable silence, Scully gathered her courage and took a step toward him, invading his personal space by standing almost directly between his legs. Mulder took in a sharp breath at the move, surprised but pleased with her sudden boldness. She placed her arms on his shoulders and although she stood above him, Mulder had to barely lift his head to see into her eyes. When he did, he could tell that something had changed for her. 

“I’m sorry that I fell asleep while you were talking,” she said as one of her hands began to softly stroke the hair at the back of his neck.

“It’s fine,” he replied, trying to let out a small laugh only to be distracted by the increase in his heart rate due to her ministrations. “I think I’ve even put myself to sleep with my talking before.” 

She smiled. “I’m also sorry that I fell asleep because I didn’t get to finish saying what I wanted to say, what I wanted to tell you.” 

“You can tell me now,” he said softly, unable to resist reaching out and placing his hands on her waist. 

Scully’s heart also began to race at the touch of his hands. “I wanted to tell you that I understand things now. I’ve been feeling a little unsure lately. About my life. If it’s what I want. But everything that happened this weekend made me realize that this is the right choice. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.” She took a deep breath and found the courage to hold his gaze as she continued, “And you are who I’m supposed to be with. You are what I want.”

Mulder couldn’t breathe. The sound of his heartbeat in his ears rivaled the sound of the storm outside. This was the moment. The moment that had been almost seven years in the making. He brought a shaking hand up to her cheek, coaxing her face closer to his. They were within mere inches of one another, their heavy breaths mingling. Scully had brought them thus far, putting it all on the line, and he knew that it was his job to meet her the rest of the way, a partnership, like always. 

The tension was becoming unbearable and they both knew this would be no innocent New Year’s kiss. This would be more like the kiss that they had started in the hallway years ago, filled with heat and passion. 

“Scully,” Mulder murmured. Finally, he could wait no longer and he closed the distance between them, devouring her lips with his own. Their tongues quickly found each other and Scully let out a soft moan, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck as he tugged her firmly against him. 

Their kisses were hungry and frantic, as they both knew their lovemaking would be. They knew that years of pent up sexual tension could not be slowly released. If would be quick, an explosion. 

Mulder began to kiss along her neck, his tongue licking and his teeth softly scraping, his hands beginning to grope her sides and slide up under her shirt. Scully rolled her head to the side, giving him more access as her hands clutched his shoulders for support. When she felt his hands inching closer to her breasts she raised her arms and he immediately pulled her green sweater over her head. 

Mulder took a moment to stare at her perfect breasts, incased in a bra of black lace, and groaned as he looked into her eyes with a expression of pure desire. “Oh, Mulder,” she whispered, her breathing heavy and her breasts heaving. 

That’s all the encouragement he needed and his mouth dove into her flesh. He ran his lips along her collar bone, in the valley between her breasts, along the edge of the bra where lace met flesh. Arousal coursed through her body and settled low in her belly and she needed more of him. She began tugging at his shirt and his mouth left her body long enough to pull it over his head. Her hands were running all over his chest, slowing only when she felt him unclasp her bra. 

Her breath hitched in anticipation before pulling the straps down her arms and flinging it away to be bare before him. “Scully,” he groaned as all the blood in his head immediately ran south and he throbbed with need. His mouth was all over her again, this time on her bare breasts. She whimpered as he kissed and licked them all over, everywhere except where she wanted him most. 

“Please,” she begged, tired of his teasing and was rewarded with his lips closing around a nipple. She let out a strangled cry at the sensation, causing Mulder to join in with a moan of his own as his fingers began to softly roll the other one. 

“Mulder,” she whimpered as she squirmed with longing, knees nearly buckling, never having felt more turned on in her entire life. She needed him, now.

She pulled his head up to meet his hungry eyes with her own. He saw a desire there that he had only dreamed of and was immediately on his feet, rubbing his bare chest against hers and kissing her more deeply than he ever thought possible. This kiss quickly turned frantic once again and it wasn’t long before they were pulling at each other’s remaining clothing. When Mulder couldn’t figure out how to get her skirt off, Scully quickly unzipped it at the side and stepped out. He had no trouble pulling her panty hose off, kneeling as he did so and kissing up her body as he stood.

Scully tugged at his pants. “Now Mulder, now,” she said in a low voice before turning to crawl onto the bed, throwing back the covers and laying on her back with her head on the pillow. Mulder pulled his pants and boxers the rest of the way off before turning to see Scully drag her panties down her legs and throw them to the side. They were finally bare before each other. It certainly wasn’t the first time that they’d seen each other naked, but the first time that it was solely for the other. Scully looked him up and down, biting her lip in appreciation. He could only growl under her gaze. 

“You are so beautiful,” he murmured as he crawled up her body and settled his weight on top of her. They both groaned at the sensation of their skin finally being in contact. “Oh, you’re so soft,” he said into her neck, running his hands everywhere he could reach. “I want to kiss every inch of you.” 

She moaned in response and grinded her body up into his, eliciting a gasp from his lips. “That sounds incredible, but right now I need you inside me. Now,” she whispered with need.

“Thank God,” he responded. “I need you too. I’ve wanted you for so long,” he replied in a husky voice as his fingers made their way down her body and got lost in her wet folds. She gasped loudly and arched into his hand. Mulder silenced her gasps with his mouth, kissing her until they were both breathless. 

“I want on top,” Scully whispered in his ear as she felt him begin to position himself. 

“Least surprising thing that I’ve ever heard,” he answered, smiling down at her.

“Shut up,” she said with her own smile before pushing him over so she could straddle his body. Their smiles soon disappeared, only to be replaced with slack jaws as she slowly lowered herself onto him. 

“Oh…my…,” she moaned loudly, unable to continue the thought as he filled her completely. 

“Scullyyyy,” he groaned in response, grasping her hips tightly. He looked up at her and was overcome by love, lust, desire, too many emotions to name. “You’re…amazing…You feel….amazing,” he got out as she placed her hands on his chest for balance and began moving on top of him. 

Their movements quickly became fast and frantic. Both desperate for the release that was so long coming. Scully grinded her body onto his, feeling her orgasm begin to build. She could only mutter his name over and over, so close to going over the edge that her movements became erratic. Mulder watched in wonder as the woman that he knew to be so in control in every aspect of her life came apart before him, unafraid to let him see her lose that control that she so closely guarded. He knew that she was so close, he was too, and he reached up to take a nipple in his mouth, hoping to push her over the edge. Scully let out a cry as her body exploded and grinded down against him one more time before falling on top of him, her body overcome with tremors. She couldn’t move, she had never felt like this. She had never come so hard from intercourse alone. 

“That’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” Mulder groaned from below her, giving her a moment to recover. Finally he could take it no more and flipped her to her back.

“Are you ready?” he asked, no longer able to hold his body still. She nodded. “Hold on,” he whispered, and she did as he said, wrapping her arms and legs tightly around his body as he pumped vigorously into her. It just took him a few strokes and he was there, calling her name as his orgasm overtook his body. He collapsed onto her, both of them breathing as if they had just run a marathon. 

With a moan from both of them, Mulder rolled off her. They lay side by side, staring up at the ceiling, and the only sound in the room was their heavy breaths. Finally, Scully’s voice broke the silence.

“Oh my God,” she said with a slightly giddy giggle. She turned her head to look at him only to find him staring back at her with a smile. 

“I agree,” he laughed. 

Scully looked away from his penetrating gaze, eyes back on the ceiling as a million thoughts ran through her head, but they all ceased when she felt Mulder gently take her hand. He threaded his fingers with hers and squeezed reassuringly. 

She kept her eyes up, but Mulder couldn’t look away from her. She was stunning. Her body still flushed and covered with a slight sheen of sweat. He let his eyes linger on her figure. Her lean little body was so often hidden in bulky coats, and now he realized what he’d been missing. She was perfect in every way. 

And he was in love with her. He had never been more sure of anything in his life. And he had just had sex with her. With Scully. His Scully. It had finally happened and Mulder was happier than he’d ever remembered feeling. He dropped her hand and propped himself up on his elbow to look down on her. 

“Hey Scully?” he said, his fingertips ghosting from her jaw down her shoulder and back up.

“Yeah,” she said softly, finally making eye contact again.

“Do I have to call you Dana now?” he asked with a big grin. 

A brilliant smile erupted on her face and she wrapped her fingers around his neck, pulling him down to her. This kiss was slow and soft and languid. Scully ran her fingers through his hair, pulling him even closer as she opened her lips and welcomed his tongue into her mouth. 

“You can call me whatever you want,” she said between kisses. 

Their leisurely kisses soon evolved into something much deeper and hungrier and Mulder felt his body once again stirring. “I can’t…believe…that this if finally happening,” he got out, unwillingly to let his lips leave hers for more than a second. “I’ve wanted this for us for so long.” 

“Me too,” she gasped as his lips began descending down her neck. “So long.” 

Her moans began to escalate as his lips once again found her breasts, and she wrapped her calf around his leg, running it up and down sensuously. He groaned and made his way back up to her lips, kissing her with a fire like she had never known. She opened her legs further and he settled himself against her, causing her to buck up against him in need.

“I wanted to go slowly this time,” he told her, “but I need you so badly that I can’t wait. I need you like I’ve never needed anything.” 

“Oh God, Mulder, I need you too,” she said huskily, writhing against him, seeking friction.

“How do you want it?” he asked breathlessly.

“Just like this,” she replied, pulling him further down on top of her. The first time was all about physical need, but this time she craved emotional intimacy as well. She wanted him to surround her, wanted to feel his breath on her skin, wanted to look in his eye when they both came. 

He braced himself on his elbows on either side of her head and she wrapped her legs around him. Mulder’s eyes bore into Scully’s as he entered her slowly, both of them moaning in pleasure. He stilled inside her after filling her completely, his eyes on hers and his fingertips brushing her cheek. In that moment he felt complete and couldn’t go one more second without telling her. 

“I love you,” he whispered. Scully’s eyes widened but he didn’t give her time to reply. Instead he covered her lips with his own, hoping to show her the depths of that love. 

He could feel her tears on his cheeks and he was about to ask her if she was alright when he felt her legs tighten against him, urging him to move. 

His lips moved to suck on her neck as he began to move in and out of her, with Scully meeting every thrust. Like before, the passion overcame the need to make things last, and it wasn’t long before they were both moving frantically, grasping each other tightly. ‘

“Ah, Scully, I’m so close,” he gritted out. “Are you…do you…” he tried, but the English language was beginning to confound him. His mind could only process the feel of her body and his escalating need for release. 

“Almost…” she moaned, and released her tight grip on his shoulder and snaked her hand between their bodies, touching herself in order to move her orgasm along.

“God,” he groaned with arousal, moving faster. Right when Mulder felt like he could take it no more, Scully cried out, throwing her head back in pleasure. Watching her come apart, making her come apart was quickly becoming his favorite thing to do. The sight of her pushed him over the edge and he finally gave in. Scully regained a semblance of composure just in time to lock eyes with him as he succumbed to ecstasy. 

No longer able to hold his body up, Mulder fell softly on top of her. Scully welcomed the feel of all of his weight on top of her and continued to hold him closely with her arms and legs around his body, unwilling to allow him to move off her. She never felt more loved than she did in this moment with Mulder breathing heavily in her neck, still inside her body. 

She was still slightly in shock that he’d said the words that she’d been so afraid to say, so afraid to hear. That, combined with the sheer relief that she felt from the release of seven years of sexual tension, overwhelmed her closely guarded emotions and she felt the tears begin to once again fall. With anyone else, this would have been embarrassing, but she trusted Mulder more than she ever trusted anyone, and she knew that she didn’t have to hide her vulnerabilities from him. Not anymore. 

Feeling her tears drip on his face, Mulder lifted his head and began kissing them away. He slowly moved off her and gathered her in to his arms. This time it was Scully burying her face into his neck as the last of her tears released themselves. Mulder gathered her even closer to him, running his hands up and down her back comfortingly. He wasn’t worried that she was crying. He understood. The love, the relief, he felt it too.

“I’m sorry,” she finally said. “I guess I’m just a little overwhelmed.”

“It’s okay,” he said, kissing the top of her head, “I get it.” 

Scully sighed and lifted her face up to his, nuzzling her nose against his cheek. Mulder smiled and unhurriedly pressed his lips to her forehead and then her cheek. 

“I’ll do better next time,” he assured her. “Give you all the attention that you deserve.” 

Scully let out a soft laugh as her heart skipped a beat at his words. “I think you did pretty good this time,” she said with a smile and sparkle in her eye. 

“Well thank you,” he replied with a laugh of his own. 

They lay in silence for several minutes, Scully languidly caressing his chest. The motions began to lull Mulder asleep. Between his jet lag and the physical and emotional exertions of the last hour, he couldn’t resist the temptation to close his eyes and drift into peaceful slumber. 

As Mulder’s mind began to shut down, however, Scully’s thoughts went into overdrive. She loved him, but why didn’t she tell him? She gave him all of herself, but she couldn’t say the words. And there were still so many questions. What did this mean for work? For the partnership? For their friendship? This was everything she wanted, but suddenly it was too much for her to handle. She needed to go home and gather her thoughts without his inviting body sleeping under her. 

Scully waited a few more minutes to make sure that he was fully asleep before reluctantly extricating herself from his embrace. She gathered her clothing from all corners of the room, although she was unable to locate her hose, and retreated to the bathroom where she quietly dressed. After giving herself a glance in the mirror, she returned to the bedroom and retrieved her suit jacket, giving Mulder one last long look. 

She was afraid that he’d be mad when he awoke alone, but she couldn’t bring herself to wake him and there was no way that she could convey her feelings in a note. With a sigh she left the bedroom and retrieved her shoes from their place beside the couch. 

Scully opened the front door but hesitated before stepping through. What happened tonight would change her life, of that she was sure. And it was a change that she wanted. She just needed time to process all of it. She just prayed that Mulder would understand why she left and she vowed to make things right with him as she stepped over the threshold. She took a deep breath and closed the door.


	3. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. The next one will be longer. Thanks for reading!

The incessant beeping of the alarm clocked jarred Mulder awake from a rather pleasant dream that included Scully, him, and their office desk, and he shut it off with an annoyed groan. But his annoyance soon evaporated when memories of the previous night flooded back to him. With a smile, he rolled over, excited to see the sight of a sleepy Dana Scully in the early morning light of day. 

He was saddened, however, to discover the empty space beside him, and he believed that it had been empty for a couple of hours now. Disappointment flooded his senses as he reached out to run his fingers over the sheet where she had laid, and he imagined her there. He wanted to see if she slept curled up like a cat or if she hogged the bed. He wanted to see her sleepy eyes fighting to open. He wanted to see her bed tousled hair and even smell her morning breath. He wanted her to snuggle up against him and whisper in his ear that maybe they should just call in to work today. He wanted everything. 

Mulder rolled to his back and covered his eyes with his arm, torn between wanting to go back to sleep and dream of escapades with Scully and wanting to go into the office to confront her. He buried his face into the pillow that still smelled of her and let himself get lost in memories of the previous night. His insecurities got the better of him for a few moments as he pondered his words and actions from the night before, wondering if he had made any mistakes. She had definitely initiated everything, he thought with a smile. And she definitely seemed to enjoy herself. She had cried, but she didn’t seem to be upset with him. Maybe he shouldn’t have dropped the love bomb when he did. Maybe the middle of sex wasn’t the best time to admit his feelings. 

He let these insecurities bounce through his head for just another moment before shoving the thoughts away. He wasn’t too worried that she’d slipped out of his bed while he slept. She had admitted that she was overwhelmed, and although he wished that he had stayed awake to comfort her, Mulder was pretty certain that she didn’t regret what had happened between them. He certainly knew that he didn’t. Being with Scully was so much more than he had ever dreamed and he was now feeling a happiness that he’d never felt before, despite the tiny bit of nervousness in his stomach. It was both this nervousness and a flat out excitement to see her again that prompted him to get up and quickly shower, hoping to beat her to the office. 

Mulder was disappointed, however, to pull into his usual parking space and find her car already parked in her own space. Scully wasn’t usually at work this early, and he didn’t know what it meant that she was. With a sigh, he exited the car and instead of heading into the building, he decided to walk two blocks down the road and obtain coffees from her favorite shop. 

When he finally reached their basement office, he found it empty, but upon further investigation he discovered a note from her stating that they were expected for a meeting in AD Skinner’s office. He cursed, grabbed their drinks, and quickly headed upstairs. Upon entering the room, Mulder found Scully sitting in one of the two chairs pulled in front of their boss’s desk, the two of them quietly chatting. 

“Nice of you to finally join us,” Skinner remarked upon seeing Mulder.

“Sorry, Sir,” he replied, “The coffee shop was pretty packed this morning.”

Mulder reached out to give Scully her drink. She accepted it, raising her wide eyes to his before quickly looking down. “Thank you,” she said quietly, suddenly finding her shoes rather interesting. 

“None for me, thanks,” Skinner said, breaking the bubble that Mulder and Scully seemed to solely exist in. 

“Sorry again, Sir. I didn’t know how you like it.” 

It did not escape his attention that Scully choked slightly on her coffee, her face becoming slightly pink. Mulder smirked, not feeling at all sorry. 

Although Mulder seemed to be taking everything lightly, Scully was almost sick to her stomach with worry. He didn’t act mad, even brought her a peace offering, but she was afraid that he resented her for leaving the previous night. She had gotten no sleep once she got home, terrified that she had ruined things between them. She desperately wanted to talk to him, but couldn’t handle doing it here at work. That’s one of the things that they needed to discuss, the work relationship as opposed to the intimate one. 

It also didn’t help that her mind kept flashing back to the night before. How his body felt over and under her. How safe and loved she felt in his arms. She felt her cheeks again begin to redden and prayed that the meeting would be over soon. She couldn’t concentrate on a word being said with Mulder so close to her. She had to get away from him before she jumped him right then and there. 

After what seemed like forever, they were finally dismissed. Neither said a word on their walk and elevator ride back to the basement. Finally, away from prying ears, Scully spoke.

“Thank you for the coffee,” she said truthfully, her back to him. He would often get her a cup of their office sludge, but it was rare for him to go out of the way just to procure her favorite drink. 

“No problem, I was going to make you breakfast but…” he trailed off. 

“Please, Mulder, not here.” She said, finally turning to look at him. Which was a mistake. She just wanted to kiss that stupid, confused look off his face right then and there. “I’m sorry, okay. I really am, and we need to talk. We do. But I just can’t do it here. Not here, not now, not a work,” she rambled. 

“Then when?” he asked, fighting the urge to push her against the desk and recreate his dream. 

At that moment the phone rang, breaking the unbearable sexual tension in the room. 

“What?” he answered annoyingly. “It’s for you,” he said, giving her the phone.

“Yes?” she answered, relieved for a reprieve. “Yes…okay…. yes…. I’ll be there.” She put down the phone and looked up at him, taking a deep breath. “They need me a Quantico for a couple of autopsies. It will be all day.” 

“Convenient,” he muttered under his breath. 

She sighed and let herself get close enough to take his hand, tugging at it to get him to look at her. “Mulder, I am sorry. We just need to talk. We will later, okay? I promise.” 

He just nodded silently as she tore her hand from his and gathered her belongings. She gave him a quick glance of apology before leaving the office. 

The rest of the day was never-ending for Mulder. He didn’t have any pressing work to distract him, so his thoughts were consumed with Scully. Her smile, her eyes, her hair. Her lips. Her naked body. The life-changing revelation of seeing Dana Scully have an orgasm and knowing that he had done it to her. 

He stood and kicked the trash can in frustration, cursing that his actions did nothing other than make his toe hurt. He began to pace the room, trying to work off his energy, but in the end he only felt more wound up. After hours of this torture, his clock finally switched over to 6:00 and he could wait no longer to call her. Truthfully he was proud of himself for holding out this long. 

The phone rang several times, and he was beginning to fear that she wouldn’t answer when he finally heard her voice.

“Hello?” she answered hesitantly. 

“Where are you,” he asked without preamble, his heartrate increasing.

On the other side of the line, Scully’s heart was displaying similar symptoms. “I’m at home,” she said, trying to sound stronger than she felt. “I got done with the autopsies a little early.”

Mulder paused a second before replying in a husky whisper, “Can I come over?”

Scully’s heart stopped and stomach fluttered at the sound of his voice. She had so many reasons to say no. If he came over, she knew what would happen again, and they really, truly, needed to talk things out first. But she wanted, longed, to see him. “Tell him no,” her mind pleaded with her. “Tell him to meet you in a loud, public place first and then maybe afterwards he can come over.” 

Her mind was only telling her rational things. And Dana Scully was, above all, rational. And sensible. And didn’t rush in to things like this. 

“Scully?” Mulder asked.

Forget rational.

“Yes,” she quickly, slamming down the phone.


	4. Talking, and Other Activities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going out of town so this will be the last chapter for at least a week. I hope to get back to it soon. Thanks to everyone for reading!!

Scully was pacing the apartment relentlessly, awaiting Mulder’s arrival. She went to the bathroom to check her appearance one more time and sprayed a slight spritz of perfume on herself. She checked the bedroom, debating whether to light some candles, but decided not to, fearful that it would make her look too eager. She returned to the living room and began randomly fluffing throw pillows, her stomach a bundle of nerves. 

Her heart stopped when she heard the three quick rasps on the door, only to immediately speed up as she slowly made her way across the room. She opened the door and gasped at the sight of him. The passion in his eyes sent sensations straight to her core. Scully moved aside and he quickly entered, shutting the door behind him. 

They both stood silently for several seconds, the only sound in the room was their heavy breathing, until neither could take it any longer. They lunged at each other simultaneously, bodies and mouths slamming into each other. Scully locked her arms around Mulder’s neck as their tongues dueled, pulling herself as close to him as possible. He responded by groping her ass, grinding his erection in to her. Scully whimpered, just barely finding the needed resolve to push him back.

“Wait, wait, wait,” she said before taking a deep breath, her hands on his chest. “We DO need to talk. Before we go any further, we need to talk about this.”

Mulder let out a breath, putting his hands on his hips to keep them off her. “Okay, okay, we can talk.”

But once again, the room went silent, the sound of their hammering hearts and labored breathing deafening in their ears. Scully glanced down at his parted lips and was gone again. 

“We can talk later,” she breathed before launching herself into his arms. Mulder caught her eagerly and once again they were all over each other. He turned her and pushed her against the closed door, his fingers working on the buttons on her blouse as his mouth went to work on her neck. Frustrated with the tiny buttons, Mulder finally just ripped the shirt open, sending the buttons flying. Scully groaned and shrugged out of the shirt while he pulled his own quickly over his head. 

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day,” Mulder said, running his hands up her torso.

“Me too, that why I had to get out there,” she replied, dropping her lips to his chest. Mulder groaned and pulled her head almost roughly back up to his. 

“Bedroom,” she got out between their frantic kisses. 

She gasped when he lifted her up, but was quick to wrap her legs around him in response. He stumbled through the living room and kitchen, so caught up in her that he could barely will his legs to walk. Suddenly, with her body pressing down on his erection, the distance to the bedroom seemed insurmountable. 

“I can’t make it that far,” he said huskily, slamming her against the wall right outside the kitchen. “Sorry,” he whispered, his lips disappearing into her cleavage. 

“It’s ok, it’s good,” she got out, throwing her head back against the wall as one arm wrapped around his shoulder and the other clutched his head. 

“I can’t wait, Scully,” Mulder said, using one hand to pull down his pants and boxers while the other one held her up. “Are you ready.” 

“Hell yeah,” she responded and helped him bunch her skirt further up her waist. 

Thankful that she had skipped the stockings today, he pulled aside her underwear and entered her in one thrust. 

“Mulder,” she groaned in a low voice, wrapping her legs even more tightly around him and digging her fingernails into his shoulders. 

He buried his head into her shoulder, nipping her soft skin with his teeth. 

“Go, go,” she encouraged him, grinding down on him.

He moaned and began pumping into her hard, each thrust pushing her against the wall. “Am I hurting you?” he asked between heaving breaths.

“No,” she replied, pushing against his every thrust, crying out with every stroke. 

“God, Scully,” he said, moving even faster. “I can’t…”

“I’m almost there,” she got out, dropping her forehead to rest on his. “Don’t stop, don’t stop.” 

Nothing could make him stop and within a few more thrusts Scully came and he quickly followed her. They stood like that for several moments, foreheads together and bodies twitching as they recovered. Mulder finally pulled out and relinquished his grip on her thighs, easing her to her feet, but Scully’s legs were like jelly and she slid down the wall to sit on the floor. He pulled up his boxers and kicked his jeans off his feet and joined her there. 

“Wow,” Scully let out shakily. 

Mulder laughed and reached over to take her hand. She looked down at their intertwined fingers, overcome by the innocence of the gesture in contrast to the state they were in and what they had just done. It made her love him even more if possible. 

Scully put her head on his shoulder and hummed happily. “Can I tell you a secret?” she asked.

“Oh please do,” he replied with a loving smile. 

“I’ve actually never done that,” she whispered, glancing up to catch his expression. 

He looked down at her surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah, I guess I’ve never had someone need me so badly that they literally couldn’t make it to the bed,” she said, her cheeks turning a pretty shade of pink.

“Well I doubt that it will be the last time that you have me so turned on that I can’t make it to the bed, or the couch, or the rug…”

She shoved his shoulder playfully, a huge smile on her face.

“What did you think?” he asked her.

“It was hot,” she answered with a sparkle in her eye, reaching over to lightly kiss his lips. 

“I agree,” he said with a smile. 

They shared a companionable silence for several minutes, still clutching the others hand. Scully looked down and saw the state she was in, in only a bra and disheveled skirt.

“I’m a mess,” she said, shaking her head. 

“But you’re my mess,” Mulder said with a laugh, gathering her close and nuzzling her neck. 

She smiled and enjoyed his ministrations for a moment before gently pushing him away and standing on still shaky legs. “I’m going to get in the shower. I’ll leave the water running for you.” 

“Or,” he said rationally, “we can choose to save water. It doesn’t just grow on trees you know.”

“That makes no sense,” she said with a quirked eyebrow. “And no, you cannot join me. We both know what would happen.”

“And what’s so wrong with that?”

“You and I are going to sit at that table, eat ice cream, and talk this thing out before it happens again,” she said gesturing between them. 

“Okay, okay,” he grumbled.

“I won’t be long,” she said with a smile. 

She wasn’t long, but she was startled to find Mulder waiting outside the shower with a towel ready for her. She looked at him in adoration as he wrapped it around her, not even trying to cop a feel, before kissing her nose and entering the shower himself. She quickly dried off and put on a clean pair of underwear, choosing to top off her look with the t-shirt that Mulder had been wearing, now tossed to the far corner of the living room. 

When he came looking for her, his mouth dropped at the sight of her leaning against the kitchen counter, eating ice cream right out of the carton, wearing only his shirt. 

“Scully,” he groaned, “how am I supposed to have a conversation with you when you look like that?”

She only gave him a smug smile and offered him a taste from her spoon. “Come on,” she said, gesturing at the table, “let’s sit.” 

They sat side by side and Mulder began to immediately toy with her fingers that had settled on the surface of the table. He looked into her eyes and saw that her expression had immediately morphed into one of anxiety.

“Scully, why are you so worried?” he asked softly, interlacing their fingers.

“I don’t know,” she said with a sigh, looking away. “I guess I just need to know what this is. I mean, if it’s just sex…”

“Come on, Scully,” Mulder interrupted, “you know it’s not just sex. It’s not ‘just’ anything. Except maybe just my dreams come true!”

She smiled. “I guess I just need to hear the words.”

“I said the words last night,” he said softly. “Did you forget?”

“No,” she whispered, tears threatening to fall.

“Scully, I love you,” he said emphatically. “And I want to be with you. That’s all I want. Just you.”

“Me too,” she whispered, one tear breaking lose to run down her face. Mulder reached over and kissed it away before raising his lips to rest them on her forehead. She sighed in contentment before pulling back to softly kiss his lips. 

“Ok,” she said, breaking away, “now we need to establish some ground rules.” 

“Ugh,” Mulder groaned, putting his head on the table.

“It won’t be that bad,” she said, laughing and pulling him up. “Let’s talk about work. This does not need to become common knowledge, right?”

“Well they can’t fire us for being together, but they could definitely separate us if they want to. They have broken us up for lesser reasons before. So you’re right, no one can know at work.”

“Ok, see, this isn’t that hard. Now,” she continued, “on the subject of work, no office sex or even making out.”

“Scully!” he said in offensive, “what’s the use of dating my partner if we can’t hook up at work?”

She pursed her lips and gave him one of her best raised eyebrows. “Mulder, no.” 

“Fine, fine, no desk sex,” he said grumpily. 

“There’s always the desk at your apartment,” she said with a grin that he couldn’t help but return.

“Okay, what’s next boss?” he asked.

“I think we should still stay in separate rooms while on the road for work.”

“That is financially irresponsible!” he argued.

Scully had to laugh at this, “I didn’t know you were so worried about the use of government resources.”

“I’m just keeping an eye out for the tax payer,” he replied with his hands up in surrender.

“Sure,” she said with a roll of the eyes, “But we are trying to keep this hidden, right? And I think we need to keep some semblance of professionalism while working, don’t you?”

“Okay, but I give you one month until you change your stance on this issue.”

“Oh really?” she asked, intrigued. “And what do I get if I don’t?”

“I’ll be your slave for 24 hours,” he answered. “And what do I get if I win?”

“Sex. In cheap motel rooms. With me.”

“It’s a de-al,” he answered shaking her hand. “What other rules are you going to try to block me with?”

“What do you think about not staying over on work nights?” she asked.

“Scully,” he said seriously, “that’s five nights of the week. Five. And what if we’re on the road during the weekend? Have you lost your mind?”

“You’re right, I’ve gone overboard,” she said with a laugh. 

“That you have,” he returned her laugh and kissed her hand that he held in his. “Anything else, Princess?”

Scully smacked his shoulder before growing serious. “I guess the only other thing I’m worried about is our friendship. I mean, you were the most important person in my life long before this. I don’t want to lose that no matter what happens.”

“You won’t, Scully,” he replied. “You are my best friend. Nothing could ever change that. Nothing.” 

She nodded moved from her chair into his lap. Mulder kissed her, letting his tongue traces the contours of her lower lip, one hand running up and down her bare leg while the other traced patterns on her back. 

“I’m so happy, Mulder,” she told him.

“Me too,” he replied. “Happier than I’ve ever been. Now if I can recall, I think I promised you that I would kiss every inch of your body.”

Blood raced straight to her core at his words and she bit her lip at the sensation. “Do you think you can make it to the bedroom?” she challenged him. 

“I guess we’ll find out,” he replied with a laugh. 

Hours and multiple orgasms later, Scully laid with her head on Mulder’s chest, utterly sated. Not only had he made good on his promise, he went above and beyond. He held her close, running his fingers through her hair and down her bare back. He would be happy to just hold her like this for hours. 

Scully burrowed even deeper into him, feeling like nothing else existed in the world except for them. In his arms she was no longer afraid. She finally wasn’t afraid to tell him everything her heart was screaming at her. She wasn’t afraid of a future with him. She wasn’t afraid to live. 

“Mulder?” she said, propping her head up to look in his eyes.

“Yeah,” he said, caressing her cheek. 

She paused a moment, but found that she didn’t even have to gather her courage. It came out easily. “I love you too,” she whispered. 

His grin was infectious, and he couldn’t even stop smiling when he kissed her. “I love you so much, Scully,” he said, pulling her back down on top of him. 

Scully kissed his chest before placing her head over his heart. She felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She finally had everything she wanted, and for the moment she felt free.


	5. Basic Lawn Mainentance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

Light shone in the bedroom windows, waking Mulder from a deep, dreamless sleep. He buried his face in his pillow, and upon realizing that it smelled like her, immediately remembered where he was, causing a sleepy smile to appear on his face. It was quickly replaced, however, by panic as he realized that he was waking without Scully in his arms for the second day in a row. Luckily, his panic soon abated when he heard the bathroom door open and saw her walk toward the bed, totally naked. He smiled, realizing what a lucky man he was to get to see her like this, beautiful, free, and uninhibited. 

“I’m sorry if I woke you,” she murmured sleepily, crawling back under the covers with him. 

Mulder just hummed in return, too exhausted for words after their long night of love making, and pulled her close. She snuggled into him, entwining her legs with his and burrowing her face into his neck, placing a soft kiss there.

“Go back to sleep,” she whispered, closing her eyes and sighing softly. He held her even more tightly and did just that.

Two hours later he awoke again but this time she was there. They had moved away from each other slightly in their sleep, but his hand still rested on the tantalizing curve of her hip. Scully’s head had migrated to her own pillow, but to him it was the perfect view. Opening his eyes to see her sleeping face, free of worry and stress, her tousled hair, feeling her slow breaths on his face. This is what he had wanted for so long. Sure, he had fantasized many times about sleeping with her, but just as often he thought about what it would be like to simply wake up next to her. His heart flooded with more emotions than he could sort out. It felt so much better than he had even imagined. 

Mulder closed his eyes for a moment, his thumb tracing small circles on her hip, willing himself not to cry out of sheer relief and happiness. When he had pulled himself together, he opened his eyes to find her own tired eyes looking back at him. She smiled softly and he felt like his heart would explode from happiness. 

“Hi,” she said softly, reaching out to rest her hand on his neck, her fingers played softly with the hair on his nape. 

“Hi,” he replied, clutching her hip a little more tightly. 

“What are you thinking about so hard over there?” she asked. 

He smiled before replying, “About what a lucky bastard I am. And that I could get used to this.” 

Scully let out a low, husky laugh that caused his groin to twitch. It astounded him at how easily she could turn him on. Her mere presence was usually enough, but waking with her naked in his bed, well her bed, was nearly torturous. It also didn’t help when he remembered the night before and how he had made her moan and cry out. How he, Fox Mulder, had made Dana Scully scream. He longed to hear it again. He began rubbing her calf with his foot and caressed her side, coming so close to her breast. 

“What do you say we get this morning started off right?” he asked, his lips a whisper away from hers. 

“Oh, no,” she said, pushing at his chest.

“Why not?” he asked in shock. 

“Mulder, I went from having no sex in years to having a hell of a lot of sex in the past day and a half!”

“And?” he asked with a grin. 

“And I’m not going to be able to walk straight!” she exclaimed. “I’m sore and thanks to our escapades against the wall last night, I’m pretty bruised too.” 

“Poor little Dana,” he said, rolling her over to see the bruises in question on her back, hips and thighs, some caused by the wall and some by his tight grip on her. “Should I kiss them all better?”

Scully sighed appreciatively as she felt his lips begin to brush against the dark spots that peppered her pale skin. After thoroughly kissing each bruise on her back, Mulder pulled himself against her, spooning her tightly.

“Better?” he asked. -

“Hmmm,” she answered, beginning to think that walking straight was overrated. 

“You know what I think we should do this weekend?” he whispered into her ear.

“What?” she replied. 

“Stay right here, in this bed, the whole weekend.” 

“Now that’s an idea that I can get behind,” she said, turning to look at him. “But…” 

“No,” he interrupted her, “no buts. Just you, me, and this bed. 

“That sounds amazing, but” she continued, “I promised my mom that I would help her around the house today. She’s hurt her back so I told her I would mow the lawn. I was supposed to do it last Saturday but you had me on a wild goose chase in Arkansas. I can’t put it off again.” 

“First,” he said, pointing his finger at her, “it was not a wild goose chase. Second, I bet you look pretty sexy mowing. I’ll come along and help if you’ll wear a bikini.”

“You’re ridiculous,” she said with a smile, shoving his shoulder. 

“Ok, how about this, I’ll do the mowing, but you have to wear shorts. I’ve never seen you in shorts. The shorter the better.”

“Well it is supposed to be hot out today,” she rationalized. 

“That’s my girl,” he said with a laugh, propping his head up on his hand to look down at her. 

“Your girl, huh?” she asked with a smirk, mirroring his position. 

“Yep,” he said, reaching over to kiss her, “my girl.” 

“If anyone else said that to me, I’d punch them in the face. But your face is just too pretty to punch,” she said, running the back of her fingers down his cheek. 

“Who knew you were so sentimental,” Mulder said with a laugh. “What about your mom? Are you going to tell her about us?”

“God, no,” she replied. “She would immediately start planning the wedding!” 

He grinned and pushed a stray hair out of her face. “So does this mean that she would approve?”

“Of course. She loves you Mulder. She’s been trying to get me to admit that there was something going on between us for years.” 

“What made her think there was something going on? This isn’t like the office rumors; this is your mother we’re talking about!”

“Well I think that between my abduction and my cancer, you pretty much showed your hand. And I’ve probably shown mine from time to time as well,” she said. 

“We were idiots for waiting this long,” he said regretfully, running his hand up and down her side. 

“Yeah,” she agreed, “but maybe our timing was always off for a reason.”

“That’s very philosophical of you,” he remarked. 

“Maybe I’m just trying to make myself feel better about not having the kind of sex we had last night every night for the past few years.”

Mulder rolled to his back and pulled Scully on top of him. “Maybe we can start making up for lost time now,” he said, waggling his eyebrows. 

She kissed him deeply before crawling off of him and out of bed with a groan. “Maybe if you’re really helpful today, I’ll show you how much I appreciate it,” she said with a wink, closing the bathroom door behind her.

Mulder draped his arm over his face and groaned in anticipation. “I’ll show her,” he thought, “I’ll show her how helpful I can be.” 

An hour later, Mulder and Scully pulled in to Margaret Scully’s drive way. “Don’t act weird,” Scully cautioned him. 

“Why would I act weird?” he asked.

“Well you’ve had that goofy grin on your face all morning. That’s pretty weird,” she replied. 

“I’m just happy,” he said with his palms up in surrender. “Can’t a guy be happy.”

“You’ve been getting some and it’s written all over your face. So just act normal,” she said, reaching over and kissing him quickly before exiting the car. 

Mulder put on the most normal face that he could manage and followed her to the door, admiring her back side in the shorts that she’d worn just for him. He could feel the grin start to emerge and tried to divert his mind elsewhere. How could he face this sweet woman while thinking about the things he did to her daughter the night before? “Think of anything else,” he told himself, “Anything else.”

The door swung open. “Dana, sweetheart,” Maggie greeted as Scully reached out and hugged her mother. 

Mulder smiled at the exchange but then his eyes accidently drifted to Scully’s thighs and he saw a small bruise peeking out from the hem of her shorts. He was suddenly back in his memories of the night before, his head between her thighs, her hips bucking frantically into his face. 

“Fox, what a surprise,” Maggie said with a raised eyebrow. 

Mulder shook his head, clearing the images. “Yeah, well Dana here said she was coming by and I thought I could offer a little help.” 

“Uh, huh,” she replied skeptically, before reaching out and pulling him into an embrace as well. 

“It’s good to see you, Mrs. Scully,” he said sincerely after they parted. He was always astounded by her acceptance, and even love, for him after everything that had happened. 

“Stop with the Mrs. Scully. I’ve told you a hundred times to call me Maggie.”

“Okay,” he agreed with a smile, turning to see Scully gazing at him appreciatively. 

She smiled back. It amazed her how easily he fit in with her family. Well with her mother at least. Bill was a subject for another day, but today she was happy that the three of them could be together.

Once the greetings were done, Mulder retrieved the push lawn mower from the shed and began work on the slightly overgrown grass. Scully pulled weeds, watered flowers, basically anything her mother directed her to do from her shady seat on the front porch. 

“What else, Mom?” Scully asked after finishing with the flower beds. 

“Just come up here and talk to me for a minute,” she replied, patting the chair beside her. 

Scully sat down, glad for the rest. “So…,” Maggie began. 

“Yes,” Scully said with a side eyed glance. 

“So Fox came with you today?”

“Obviously,” Scully replied cautiously. In response she only got the famous Scully quirked eyebrow. “He is my friend, Mom. Can a friend not help out a little?” she asked, not at all feeling guilty because she had told no lies. 

“Hmm, I just thought it was interesting,” Maggie replied.

Scully rolled her eyes. “I’m getting back to work.” 

After two hours of strenuous labor, both Mulder and Scully were hot, dirty, and tired, and Maggie had gone inside to prepare them lunch. 

“This is harder work than I signed up for,” Mulder complained, wiping his sweaty brow and collapsing on the porch steps beside Scully. “Please convince your mom to invest in a riding mower.” 

Scully laughed. “I don’t know, you looked pretty sexy pushing that thing around. You should have taken your shirt off, though. It’s stifling out here, you could have got away with it.” 

“Next time,” he said with a laugh of his own, “preferably when your mother isn’t around.” 

She smiled and kissed the side of his mouth quickly. “I’m holding you to that.” 

They quickly moved away from one another when they heard the front door swing open and Maggie emerged with a plate of sandwiches. If she had seen anything, she didn’t let it show. 

After a nice lunch on the front porch, Mulder and Scully left with promises to return and do it all again in a few weeks’ time.

“We’re disgusting,” Scully said after they removed their shoes and entered her apartment. 

“Well I bet you could get me all clean,” he said with a smirk, steering her toward the bathroom. 

She smiled and let him guide her in and once there let him remove all of her offending clothes. His quickly followed and soon they were in a steaming shower, the water washing off the sweat and dirt. Mulder’s hands began running up and down her slick body, but Scully had other plans. 

“I believe I told you that I would show you have grateful I am for your help today,” she said, taking him into her tight grip.

Mulder gasped and held her shoulders tightly. “How grateful would that be?” he asked between heavy breaths.

“Very,” she said, biting her lip, knowing that it drove him crazy. 

He could only growl in response, but it quickly evolved into a loud moan when she dropped down and took him into her mouth. Before he lost all ability of thought, Mulder pondered what else he could do to make Dana Scully grateful.


	6. Sunday Funday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, the fluff is out of control. But don't worry, you'll get your angst soon enough!

On Sunday morning, it was Scully who woke alone. She groaned as she stretched her sore muscles, not used to the kind of physical exertion she had put her body through the past few days. She rolled over and looked at the alarm clock, surprised to see that it was already 10:00. She couldn’t remember the last time she had slept that late, but considering that she and Mulder had once again spent the entire night making love, she figured she deserved it. 

She snuggled deeper into her pillow, at war with herself. Her body desperately wanted to catch up on some much needed sleep, but her mind wanted to seek out Mulder. She wondered where he was, but considering that she could see his pants on the floor from where she lay, she figured that he couldn’t have gone too far. 

Just when Scully had negotiated with herself for five more minutes of sleep, a horrifying shrieking sound came from the hallway. “The smoke detector,” she thought, quickly pulling on her robe. She could smell it as soon as she stepped foot into the hall, the definitive smell of smoke. She hurried into the kitchen only to stop short at the sight before her. Mulder, clad only in his boxers and t-shirt, fanning furiously at the burnt remains of what once appeared to be a pancake. She couldn’t contain the laughter that escaped her, in hysterics even as she pulled over a chair and stepped up on it to reset the smoke detector. 

“I’m glad that I amuse you so,” Mulder deadpanned, depositing the slightly crispy pancake into the trash can. 

“I’m sorry,” Scully said, wiping away tears, “this is just not what I expected this morning.” 

“Apparently,” he said with a smile, unable to remain annoyed while she laughed so insanely. “I was planning on impressing you with my cooking skills; I did say I would make you breakfast.”

Beneath the odor of the smoke, Scully did detect some more appetizing smells. She walked by him, trailing her fingers against his abs as she passed, and found tasty looking plates of eggs and bacon resting on the counter. She didn’t even know that she had bacon in her refrigerator.

“Looks like you still have a chance to impress me,” she said, turning to him with a smile and pulling him down for a soft kiss. “Good morning,” she whispered into his lips.

“Good morning,” Mulder replied, stealing another kiss. “You hungry?”

“Always,” she answered, allowing him to serve her breakfast and coffee, all of which were surprisingly delicious. “You’re pretty good at this,” she said after cleaning off her plate. “I may keep you around after all.” 

“Just keep the pancakes away from me,” he said, clearing her dishes and proceeding to clean up the mess he made. Now Scully was really impressed. 

They spent a lazy morning in. Once again showering together, languidly soaping each other’s bodies and washing each other’s hair. Mulder watched a basketball game on TV while Scully napped with her head in his lap. 

He looked down at her and ran his fingers through her hair, wondering once again how he had gotten so lucky. She was perfect for him. Her strengths compensated for his flaws. She always seemed to know what he needed. She knew when to push him and when to hold him back. She put up with him when he was being an ass, but took none of his crap. She was always more than willing to knock him off his high horse when necessary and she pulled him up when he was low. She loved him when he felt like he didn’t deserve to be loved, and she made him unceasingly happy. Mulder only prayed that he could do the same for her. That he could give her the happiness she deserved, the love that she deserved. 

She stirred in his lap, squeezing his knee before siting up only to lay her head on his shoulder, still a little groggy. “Good nap?” he asked with a smile, kissing her forehead. 

She only hummed in response, running her hand up and down his thigh, overjoyed that she could now touch him like this whenever she wanted. 

“You want to get out this afternoon?” he asked. “I had an idea of something we can do.” 

“Sure,” she replied, “but you have to go home first.”

“Why,” he asked, looking down at her.

“Because you’ve been wearing the same clothes for two days. It’s kind of gross.” 

He laughed. “I guess you’re right. Okay, clean clothes then I’m taking you to the zoo!”

“The zoo?” she asked with a giggle. “Really?”

“Yeah, you told me that you’ve never been to the DC zoo. Well today is the day,” he said.

“When did I tell you that?” 

“I don’t know. A few years ago,” he replied. “We were on a plane, to Colorado I think. You said you loved the San Diego zoo when you were a kid, but you’ve never had time to go to the one here.” 

“I don’t remember that! You and your memory...” 

“I can remember everything when it comes to you,” he said. 

“Yeah, as long as it’s to your advantage. Take out the trash! Let’s see if you remember to do that,” she said with a smile. 

He laughed, willing to do whatever she asked as long as she kept him around. 

After a quick stop at his place, they set off for the zoo, opting for the subway and walking over battling the traffic. The nice day brought out the tourists, but Mulder and Scully were happy to slowly make their way through the crowds, often holding hands and trying to outsmart the other with random wildlife facts. They got ice cream and stole licks from each other’s cone. It felt good to just be a normal couple for a day. No government conspiracies, no alien abductions, no backhand comments about Mr. and Mrs. Spooky. In the eyes of the strangers they came across, Mulder and Scully were just another couple in love. They had both always thought that a “normal” life would feel strange, but this warm Sunday afternoon it felt surprisingly comfortable. 

“Your place or mine?” Mulder asked as they strolled hand in hand back to the metro. 

“Well I was thinking maybe we could use the night apart,” Scully answered, stealing a glance at him. 

“Why ever would you think that?” he asked, dropping her hand so he could wrap his arm around his shoulders and pull her close. 

Clutching his waist in response she answered, “I just have a lot that I need to do tonight. I have to get at least 5 pages written on the article that I’m submitting to New England Journal of Medicine, I need to do laundry, and I need to get some groceries if you’re going to be spending time at my apartment. Plus, neither of us has had much sleep in days, and I know that we won’t get much tonight either if we’re together.” 

“All valid points, Scully, but I’m getting too used to having you with me every minute of the day. I’ll miss you too much.” 

“What if I give you something to remember me by?” she whispered into his ear and rubbing her hand up and down his back suggestively. 

“You’re killing me,” he groaned, quickening his pace and hurrying her to his apartment. 

They couldn’t keep their hands off of each other in the elevator and the hallway, and once they reached the door, Scully planted herself against it as Mulder tried desperately to get key in the lock, distracted by her hands running up and down his torso, ghosting over the bulge that had already begun to tighten his pants. 

Finally, he got the door unlocked and they stumbled inside, a tangle of arms and legs. Hands groped everything they could reach as they devoured each other’s lips. Mulder planted his leg between Scully’s and she rubbed against it frantically, desperate for friction. 

“You are insatiable, Dana Scully,” Mulder murmured between kisses, thrusting softly into her belly. 

She groaned. “Looks who’s talking. Where to?” she asked, wondering if she was about to find herself slammed against the wall again, not that she minded. 

He pulled away enough to look at her. “Couch,” he said with an evil grin. 

He pulled her by the hand to the couch and plopped down on it, pulling her on top of him. Scully straddled his body and quickly pulled his shirt over his head, immediately replacing it with her lips on his chest. Mulder moaned and grabbed her hips, grinding her down on him. She answered his moan with her own and began moving her hips of her own accord, working them over his straining erection. He growled and began to work on her shirt, getting frustrated with the small buttons. 

“Don’t you dare ruin another one of my shirts,” she threatened. 

“You do it then,” he answered huskily, “I’ll just watch.” 

Scully gave him a sexy little smile and began unbuttoning the shirt, pausing to touch the skin uncovered with each button as he watched with rapt attention. He made an appreciative sound at the black push up bra that she revealed and the copious amount of cleavage it produced. 

“You wear this for me?” Mulder asked as his lips descended on her breasts.

“No, it’s for the guy I have coming over later,” Scully retorted as she began to work on his belt. 

“Don’t even joke about that,” he said. “You are all mine.” 

“You’re so possessive,” Scully began to say before her words got cut off by a loud moan as Mulder’s teeth successfully pulled the cup of her bra down low enough to free her nipple. She cried out as he latched on with his lips and began writhing uncontrollably on his lap. 

“Scully, I can’t get enough of you,” he said, lifting her off of him long enough to pull his pants and boxers down to his ankles. She also made quick work of her pants and underwear before settling back on him. She still wore her open shirt and bra, but Mulder found it rather sexy.

She lowered herself slowly onto him, both of them emitting gasps, Scully clutching his head to her breast. Once he was fully inside her, Mulder looked up into her eyes, in awe of the love and desire he saw there. He captured her lips in a blazing kiss, hoping to convey everything her felt for her. 

Scully pulled back to look at him as she began rocking back and forth on him. “How many times have you imagined us doing this, right here?” she asked him through panting breaths.

“You have no idea,” he replied. 

“And what were you doing when you were imagining this?” she asked with a smirk, keeping a steady rhythm. 

“Oh you know, things,” he said with a smirk of his own, gripping her hips to move her a little faster. 

“I think I know why you wanted me to stay over so badly,” she said through escalating breaths.

“You are very chatty tonight,” he remarked, struggling to concentrate.

She let out a low laugh, “I think that you want to see how many consecutive days you can get me in the sack.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said with a grunt. “I just wanted the honor of your presence.” 

“Uh, huh,” she said, words becoming impossible as the rhythm of their bodies escalated. She couldn’t take it anymore and began bouncing furiously on him, letting out sharp little cries that almost did him in. 

“Oh, God, Scully,” he got out. He couldn’t take the way she was moving on him, the way her breasts bounced right in front of his eyes, one nipple peeking out through her bra. He couldn’t take the look on her face, closed eyes and agape mouth. He couldn’t take any of it and he came with a loud grunt, thrusting up into her. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he got out as he collapsed back on the couch and she rested her head on his shoulder with a frustrated whimper, continuing to roll her hips against him. “I’ve got you,” Mulder said, quickly rolling her to her back and burying his face between her thighs. 

Scully’s moans doubled in their intensity as he circled his tongue relentlessly against her clit, and it only took a minute before she was coming hard with a sharp cry, bucking her hips off the couch. 

“Mulder…,” she whispered as she fell back limply, eyes closed and breathing hard. He pulled himself up and rested his head on her stomach as Scully ran her fingers through his hair languorously. 

They lay like that in silence for several minutes before Mulder spoke up. “You still sure that you want to go?” 

“I don’t want to go, but I need to go. It will be good for us to have a little time apart. I don’t want you to get tired of me, but don’t worry, it will only be twelve hours.” 

“Like I could ever get tired of you,” Mulder said, sitting up with a groan and pulling her with him. He settled back on the couch and she leaned into him with her head on his shoulder. “Thanks for making a fantasy of mine come true tonight.” 

She smiled. “Any time.” 

After cleaning up and putting themselves back together, Mulder walked Scully out to her car. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, holding both of her hands.

Scully shook her head at the puppy dog luck that he gave her. She could be strong, she could resist it. She reached up and wrapped her hand around his neck, pulling him down to kiss him softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she replied before adding, “I love you.” 

“Love you, too,” he said with a smile, kissing her one last time and vowing never to take those words for granted. He watched her drive off with a wave, realizing that he couldn’t wait to see what the next day would bring for them.


	7. Working for the Weekend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry so short! I'll do better next time!

Monday morning at work proceeded like any other Monday with a few exceptions. Mulder once again brought Scully her favorite coffee and in return, she showed up with his favorite pastries. When they were among other agents in the office, Scully noticed a lack of physical connection compared to how they interacted before they got together. Not once all day did she feel Mulder’s hand on her back or shoulder when they were in public, but when they were in the privacy of their office it was a different matter altogether. His hand on her back, maybe a little too close to her ass for the workplace, his fingers on her knee when they sat side by side looking over files, and he tucked her hair behind her ear when it fell in her face. 

Scully knew that she should tell him to back off a little, they were at work after all, but she found that she didn’t want him to back off. They were still in the early days of their sexual relationship, and everything felt new, even though they’d been together for years. Each touch felt like the first time and it was exciting. She found that she couldn’t wait for work to be over and to have him all to herself. And not just because of the sex, which was fabulous. As she stared across the office, watching him diligently typing on his computer, Scully just wanted to wrap her arms around him and rest her head on that spot on his chest that seemed to be made specifically for her. She wanted to curl up with him on the couch as he watched some inane movie, she would complain but be secretly happy to just be in his arms. She wanted all of the normal things with him that she never thought she could have. 

“How are those lab reports coming, Scully?” Mulder asked suddenly, breaking her out of her reverie. 

“Oh, um, fine,” Scully answered, looking back to the reports she was supposed to be reading over. “No obvious cause of death, you know, the usual.”

“Uh, huh,” he said with a smirk. “Looked to me like I caught you in a daydream.”

“You did not,” she replied with mock offense. “I was simply thinking about the case.”

“Uh, huh,” he said again. 

“Just finish your report,” she said with a small smile, “I don’t want us to have to work late.”

“You got that right,” he said quietly, turning his attention back to the screen. 

Scully went back to her report, trying to concentrate on what she was reading, but after a while she realized that she no longer heard the sound of Mulder’s typing. She looked up and saw him staring at her. 

“Sorry Scully,” he said with laugh at being caught in his own day dream. “I was just thinking.”

“About what?” she said, almost afraid to ask. 

“I was just thinking that you are very pretty.”

“Mulder,” she said in warning.

“Sorry,” he replied, hands up in surrender. “I know it’s not work appropriate, but you asked. Now get back to work and stop distracting me with your flawless beauty,” he ordered with a point of his finger. 

Scully couldn’t help the little giggle and appreciative smile at his words. She couldn’t believe that she was acting like this, she was literally blushing like a school girl. Maybe it was best if she got away from him for a little while so they could both get their work done.

“I’m going up to the fourth floor to talk to the lab guys about the fingers prints found at the scene,” she announced, gathering her files.

“Want me to come with?” Mulder asked.

“No, you just finish that report so we can go home once I get back.” 

“Go home? As in go home together?” he asked in a conspiratorial whisper. 

“Well I might have missed you a little last night,” she replied in a whisper of her own, propping on the desk beside him. “I thought I might cook you something tonight if you want to come over.” 

“If I want to come over? Scully you never have to ask if I want to come over. I’ll go home first and get a suit for tomorrow, if that’s okay with you?” he asked, hoping he wasn’t being too presumptuous. 

She nodded, “I’ll make room in the closet. Bring a couple and some other things you need, you know just in case.” 

Mulder couldn’t wipe the huge grin off his face. Dana Scully was cleaning out room in her closet for him. If this had happened with any other woman just days after their first time together, he would’ve headed for the exit, but this was Scully. This is what he always wanted with her. It had been seven years. What was the use of going slow now? 

“Sounds good,” he said. “Go do what you need to do. I’ll get this done.” 

She smiled and turned to leave, but Mulder couldn’t resist reaching out patting her ass as she walked by. 

“Mulder,” she said in annoyance and shock. 

“I’m sorry,” he said immediately. “It won’t happen again. I’m sorry.” He watched her walk out and smirked. He wasn’t sorry. 

The rest of the week continued on with business, mostly, as usual at work. The extra touches in private remained, within reason, and they were getting better at getting the work done without too much gazing and fantasizing about what they would do to each other when they got home. 

Home was usually Scully’s apartment, as they had spent every night together, Mulder’s streak having not been broken. Clothes and toiletries had also migrated to each other’s apartments, each cleaning out both a drawer and room in the medicine cabinet for the other. They still drove separate cars to the office to keep up appearances, but found themselves unable to care if anyone saw them together outside of work. They held hands while walking in the park and Mulder couldn’t resist kissing her at their favorite Italian restaurant when she accidently smeared sauce on the corner of her lip. Things between them were going better than either of them had ever dreamed that they could, and they were both insanely happy. 

On Saturday night they were at Mulder’s place, both still full of energy after a day spent being lazy. Mulder had whispered in Scully’s ear that he knew just how to work off some of that excess energy and had just begun his lips’ slow descent down her throat when the phone rang. 

“Ignore it,” Mulder said, nipping at the soft skin of her neck, causing her to moan in appreciation. They both stopped short however when the answering machine kicked in and Walter Skinner’s voice filled the room, immediately breaking the mood. 

He was none too happy that neither Mulder nor Scully had answered their cell phones and he was very loudly voicing his displeasure. 

Mulder gave Scully a look of apology before reaching over and picking up the phone. He was only on the phone for a minute, answering only in ‘yes, no, and sorry,’ before he hung up and sighed in frustration. 

“So much for a nice weekend off,” he said. “Skinner wants us on a case in Tulsa right away. Our plane leaves in an hour.”

“An hour!” Scully exclaimed as she hurried to the bedroom and began throwing clothes into an overnight bag. “Pack your bag, if we don’t hurry we won’t make it.” 

“Scully,” he groaned. “Don’t we have time to…just a quickie.” 

“Mulder, we do not have time. And Skinner will have our asses if we miss that plane.” 

He reluctantly agreed and quickly packed a bag of his own. Before walking out the door, Mulder pulled Scully into a hungry kiss, not knowing when he’d get another chance with her ‘not while we’re on a case’ rules. As his tongue delved into her mouth, he decided to show her what she’d be missing. 

When they finally broke the kiss Scully was breathing hard. “I’m sorry we’re having to break our streak,” she said sincerely. God knows she wanted that quickie. “But nine days isn’t too shabby.” 

He reached down and kissed her one more time, this time it was soft and comforting. “I guess it’s not too bad, but it could have been better,” he said with a sigh, opening the door for her and kicking it closed behind them, a little harder than necessary. 

“I’ll make it up to you when we get back,” she said, wrapping her arm around his waist as they headed toward the elevator, Mulder unable to hide the spring in his step.


	8. Booty Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short fluffy chapter that I banged out this afternoon. It may take me a little while to get the next one done. Thanks so much for reading!

Tulsa was a disaster. Actually, disaster was not a strong enough word. People died, Mulder and Scully were both beat up and bruised, and as usual, they got no real answers. In the three days they worked the case, neither got more than an hour’s sleep at a time and even then it was on the uncomfortable couches at the local police department. 

On the plane ride home they were both miserable. They were disheartened due to the outcome of the case and although exhausted, neither could sleep in the tiny coach seats. Scully had decided to be kind and let Mulder have her window seat and she took the middle seat next to a large man who hogged the arm rest, but as she felt his leg brush hers for the third time, she decided next time she wouldn’t be so kind. 

“You owe me big time for switching seats,” she whispered into his ear as she shrank away from the man, pulling closer to Mulder. She laid her tired head on his shoulder, groaning as her sore body protested such movement in the cramped space. 

Mulder kissed her forehead and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “You okay?” he asked with concern. She had taken some intense blows from their suspect, as had he.

“Yeah,” she said. “My back is just stiff and the millimeter of space that I have to sit in isn’t helping. And my hip hurts. And my shoulder. But at least I don’t have a shiner like yours,” she said with a smile, reaching up to caress the large bump and bruise that his hair couldn’t cover. 

“Weekends like this make me feel like I’m getting to old to be in the field,” he said with a smirk. I don’t think there is one muscle in my body that doesn’t hurt.”

“You’re not too old. I saw many displays of boyish agility back there.”

He snorted and pulled her closer, praying for the plane to land soon. All he could think about was how comfortable his bed would be right now. After hours in the air, they finally landed in DC. Grateful that they didn’t have to wait on checked baggage, Mulder and Scully trudged to the exit, both too tired to walk at a steady pace. 

“Mulder, I think I’m just going to grab a cab home,” Scully said as they stepped outside into the warm summer night. 

“What for?” he asked. 

“I’m out of clean clothes at your place and all you’ve been talking about all night is your glorious bed. So let’s just go back to our own places to pass out. Come over tomorrow, I’ll make you an Epsom salt bath for that poor old body of yours.”

“How romantic,” he remarked. “At least let me drive you home.”

“It’s twenty minutes out of your way. I wouldn’t want you to fall asleep at the wheel,” she said, tugging lightly on his tie. 

Mulder smiled. “Okay,” he replied, unable to find the energy to be chivalrous at this point. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” she answered. “Skinner gave us the day off so come over whenever you want. Just not too early.”

“You won’t find me up before noon,” he replied, leading her to the line of awaiting taxis. “I’m sorry this weekend sucked,” he said as he opened the car door for her. 

“It did suck, but at least I was with you,” she said, reaching up to kiss his lips softly. “Bye.”

“Bye,” he said, closing the door behind her and not turning until her cab was out of sight. With an exhausted sigh, he made his way toward long-term parking. 

Once he was home, Mulder fell right into bed, but was surprised when he tossed and turned for an hour, unable to fall asleep. His mind screamed for sleep but his restless body just wouldn’t cooperate. Finally he gave up and climbed out of bed. He grabbed his shoes and keys and dragged himself out the door. 

Across town, Scully did not have the same problem. She had barely pulled her disgustingly dirty clothes off before collapsing under the covers where sleep came easily. She was so deep asleep that she didn’t hear the key turn in the door or the none too quiet footsteps in the hallway. She only stirred once she heard a heavy shoe drop to the floor across her bedroom. 

“Hey, hey, it’s just me,” Mulder said before she could reach for her gun that she had placed on the nightstand. 

“Mulder, what are you doing?” she asked, squinting into the darkness to see him stripping to his t-shirt and boxers. 

“I couldn’t sleep,” he said, rounding the bed to climb in the other side.

“No, no, I’m too tired for a booty call,” she said groggily, unable to think too clearly through such utter exhaustion. 

“Booty call?” he asked with a laugh, “Scully, you’re adorable.” She only hummed in response as he spooned himself behind her, holding her tightly. “Hey Scully?” he asked.

“Hmm,” she answered.

“Why are you naked? Not that I’m complaining.” 

“Too tired for clothes,” she replied.

“Can you believe that this is the first time I’ve stayed over with no intent to have sex? I mean, you’re lying naked in my arms and nada.”

“Well thanks,” she said, not able to take any real offense at this point. 

Mulder closed his eyes and nuzzled his nose into her hair. “Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “Does this mean the honeymoon is over?”

“The magic is gone,” she answered, burrowing deeper into her pillow. “We’ll have to start scheduling sex. I think once a month is acceptable.” 

“Acceptable my ass. If I had any energy, I would take you in a manly fashion,” he said, getting a low giggle from her. “But seriously, I literally couldn’t sleep without you tonight. I think my days of sleeping alone are done.” 

Scully smiled. “Mine too,” she said, squeezing the arm that wrapped around her waist. “Now go to sleep,” she cooed. 

Mulder hummed and pulled her still closer. It didn’t matter to him whose bed or apartment they were in; she was his home. With this thought on his mind, he slowly started to drift off, but not before he could get in the last word. 

“Booty call,” he said with a low laugh.

“Shut up,” she whispered. He did and they both dozed off, sleeping in each other’s arms for the next twelve hours.


	9. Thank You for Not Smoking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place during the episode "Brand X," (which I do not own).

“Scully, how can you eat that?” Mulder asked with a groan, pushing his plate of tacos away and eyeing her nachos warily. 

She popped another chip into her mouth. “Mulder, I’m hungry. I haven’t eaten all day!”

“I know but we literally just came from an autopsy where you compared a guys insides to corned beef. Half of his face was eaten off! And you’re just chowing down.”

“I thought you’d gotten over your autopsy squeamishness,” she said with a laugh, stealing a bite of his abandoned taco. 

“Well I have, but within reason. I need a little recovery time before getting into the Mexican food.”

“Well like I said, I’m hungry, so if you’re not going to…can I?” she asked, gesturing at his plate. 

“Have at it,” Mulder said with a laugh. “You know I appreciate it when you get off the health food kicks and eat normal food.”

She smiled and finished off half of his plate. 

The agents were in North Carolina after receiving a call from Skinner asking for his assistance, and although Mulder had the beginnings of a theory, they had no real leads, so they were off the clock for the rest of the night. After their, or Scully’s, dinner, the pair made their way back to the hotel. This one was little nicer than their usual digs, probably because AD Skinner would be staying there as well. The hotel not only had a continental breakfast, but it even had a workout room and indoor hallways. Definitely the lap of luxury. 

After checking in, they retrieved their bags. As Scully began to unlock her door, she realized that Mulder had every intention of following her in. 

“What are you doing?” she asked with a quirked eyebrow. 

“Just wanted to hang out for a little while,” he said.

“Hang out? Is that what you call it?”

“I’m serious Scully. You said no funny stuff on a case and that’s fine. I just want to come over for a while before we have to go to sleep. Come on, we used to do that before we got together.”

“You were just in the car with me for five and a half hours this morning, was that not enough?”

“Never,” Mulder replied quickly. 

Scully smiled with affection. “Mulder, we have to be careful. Skinner is staying just down the hall,” she whispered. 

“I know, we’ll be discreet. And no funny stuff. I promise.” 

Scully sighed, she was a sucker for his puppy dog face. “Just for a little while.” 

After an hour of lounging together on the hotel bed watching TV, Scully realized that Mulder was beginning to drift off. She shook him from where she rested under his arm, both of them propped up against the headboard. 

“Mulder,” she said quietly, “you’re falling asleep. You need to go to your room.”

He groaned and sunk further into the bed, trying to pull her down with him. “I don’t want to go. You know I can’t sleep without you.” 

They had been together for almost three weeks now, and not a night went by that they weren’t with one another. Scully knew that she’d have trouble sleeping without him as well; it didn’t take long for new habits to be formed. 

“I don’t want you to go either, but Skinner is here. We’re trying to keep this under wraps, right?” she asked. 

“I know you’re right. I’ll just miss you.” 

Scully smiled and tilted her head up to kiss him softly. “I’ll miss you too, but maybe we can get this all wrapped up tomorrow so we can head home.” 

Mulder kissed her back one more time before dragging himself out of the bed to retrieve his bag. “See you tomorrow,” he said with a smile before leaving her room. 

Where he literally ran into Assistant Director Skinner. 

“Oh…uh, sorry Sir,” Mulder said, backing away from his boss.

“Mulder,” Skinner said with a frown, noting the overnight bag in his hand. “You guys just get back from the morgue?”

“Uh, no, we’ve been going over the case. Just turning in.” 

“Ok, well, see you in the morning, Agent,” Skinner said, opening the door right across the hall from Scully’s. 

Mulder nodded and went to his own room, knowing that there was no way he’d be sneaking into her room tonight. 

The next day, after a morning spent talking to the latest victim’s neighbors, Scully found herself once again at the city morgue doing another autopsy. This time Skinner joined her, and after going over her findings with him, Mulder made an appearance. Scully noticed that he didn’t seem to be himself, but she didn’t panic until she heard the first cough. Then another. By the third cough, her heart was racing and it was with dread that she approached him to see his blood stained palm. 

She held onto his wrist and quickly reached for a tissue to wipe off the blood. “It’s okay, it’s okay” she said softly, her eyes wide, betraying her calm voice. “We just, we just need to get you to the hospital.”

“Ambulance?” Skinner asked with concern. 

“No, you drive,” Scully replied. “It will be faster. Can you walk?” she asked Mulder.

“Yeah,” Mulder answered in an increasingly gravelly voice, “I feel okay.”

“Good, good,” Scully said with what she hoped was an encouraging smile, all the while her mind was racing. Nonetheless, she held his arm as they made their way to Skinner’s car, Mulder’s pace slower than usual. 

As Skinner drove, Scully sat in the back seat with Mulder, her hand running up and down his back as small coughs began to emerge. She gave him a handful of tissues and once again, there were streaks of blood painting its surface. 

“Are you having a hard time breathing?” she asked when the coughing attack abated. 

“It’s not too bad,” he tried to assure her, but Scully could see right through him. His panic face was on full display. 

“Just try to relax and take deep breaths. Do you want to lie down?”

Mulder nodded. He was now feeling light headed and didn’t know how much longer he could remain upright. Scully gently pulled his body down in the cramped space and placed his head in her lap. One hand ran over his forehead and through his hair while the other continued to rub his back, urging him to breath. 

“We’re going to be there in just a minute,” she told him softly, trying to remain as calm as possible for his sake. “You’re going to be fine.” 

Scully held him tighter as the coughing resumed, feeling useless as they raced across town. The ride felt endless, but it actually only took them ten minutes to reach the hospital. In those ten minutes, however, Mulder’s condition had taken a drastic turn for the worse. His coughs were now constant and he could no longer respond to her questions. The only indication that he was aware of her presence at all was the constant clutch of his fingers against her thigh. It was like he was drowning and she was his life preserver. As he drowned in his own lungs, he held onto her for dear life. 

Skinner slammed the car to a stop at the emergency room and was out of the car in a second, searching for help. 

“It’s okay Mulder. We’re at the hospital and we’re going to get you all fixed up,” Scully said into his ear, wrapping her arms against him tightly and trying to steady him against the tremors that overtook his body. 

The car door was suddenly flung open and unfamiliar hands reached in, pulling Mulder out of Scully’s arms. She climbed out of the car and hurried along next to the stretcher as Mulder was taken into an exam room. 

“I’m sorry Miss, but you’re going to have to wait outside,” a nurse told her, blocking her way.

“I am his doctor and I have the right to be involved in all decisions pertaining to his medical care,” Scully said, trying to sound stronger than she felt. They had long ago changed her to his primary doctor on all of his paperwork so that she could never be denied access to him, something that had come in handy more than once. 

Mulder received oxygen while Scully discussed his condition with the ER doctor and the pulmonary specialist. After she caught them up on what she suspected was happening in his lungs, they made the decision to use a suction technique to remove the bugs. All during the conversation, Scully’s eyes continued to drift to Mulder. Amidst his struggled breathing and coughs, she could see him looking at her, calling out to her with his eyes. He was scared and it broke her heart. 

Unable to take it any longer, she went to him. Mulder reached his hand out weakly to her and she grabbed it, intertwining their fingers and holding their locked hands next to her heart. 

“Hey,” she said with a soft smile, and went on to describe what would happen next. She tried to sound nonchalant but they both knew it was an act. He would be under anesthesia and would have a tube down his throat, and even then, it wasn’t an answer to the problem. 

“It will be okay,” she told him. “I’ll be in there with you the whole time.”

Mulder nodded lightly but continued to hold her hand as forcefully as he could. Neither was willing to let go, even when he was transferred to another floor, even when they passed Skinner in the hallway. Scully did not drop his hand until it was time to prep him for his procedure and she had to scrub in. 

“I’ll be here when you wake up,” she said soothingly as he went under. Taking a step back when the procedure began was hard for her, but she knew it was not her place to get in the doctors’ way. This was their field, not hers, and she had to trust them. 

After about an hour, Scully having only left the room to speak to Skinner, Mulder’s procedure was done and he was sent to a recovery room. She was encouraged when he had been able to speak, he even had a bad joke for her, but any hopefulness quickly disappeared when he lost his ability to breath. Seeing him look at her with pleading and panicked eyes was terrifying, and she felt so helpless. She and the other doctors had no answers. The doctor wanted to crack his chest, and it took everything in her willpower not to weep when she asserted Mulder wouldn’t survive such an operation. 

“That will definitely kill him, sooner or later.” That’s what the doctor told her. She had tried to be so strong, she hadn’t shed a tear this entire time, but with those words in her mind and on her heart, she couldn’t take it anymore. 

Scully made a beeline for the ladies’ room and quickly locked herself into a stall. With her back to the door, she slid to a crouch on the floor as waves of tears finally escaped. This time she was the one who couldn’t catch her breath. They had both been close to death before, but this time it felt so much closer, so much more hopeless. Scully had loved Mulder for so long, but since their relationship changed, she had realized that he was truly her other half. The thought of losing him, losing half of herself, was devastating. 

As tears of terror and grief ran down her face, Scully knew that she would never be able to make it without him. Her heart was inextricably linked to his and she knew without him there was no her. She could exist without him, but she couldn’t live. 

Her sobs echoed off the walls of the bathroom as she cursed herself for not letting him stay the night. What if it were their last night? What if he never held her in his arms again? Who cares about rules and regulations when you only have one last night with your love. 

What truly broke Scully was that she couldn’t pinpoint the last time she told him that she loved him. It had to have been a few days ago at least. They seemed to have made a silent agreement that they wouldn’t declare their love carelessly. There would be no rushed ‘I love you’s’ at the end of a phone call. It wouldn’t be said in haste or in jest. Those words would only be said at times they were meant, when they were felt. When they could no longer not be said. 

But at that moment, Scully wished that she had told him a million times that she loved him. She wished that she spent every day and night declaring her love. What if he never woke up again? She would have to live with the fact that couldn’t remember the last time she said the words to him. 

Scully felt as if she could easily lie down on the dirty bathroom floor and cry for hours, but she resolved that she would only allow herself five more minutes. Self-pity and grief wouldn’t help him; she wouldn’t give up. She willed her tears to stop and her breath to regulate as she pulled herself to her feet. She exited the stall and splashed cold water on her face. Looking at her reflection, Scully began to pull herself together. She wiped the tears away and tightened her resolve. When she walked out of this bathroom, no one would know that she just had a breakdown. 

Hours later, Mulder was still hanging on, although he had yet to regain consciousness. Scully was never happier to see Skinner than when he showed up with their suspect, and it didn’t take her long to discover the cause of his immunity. The nicotine began to kill the bugs in Mulder’s lungs, but it also caused him to stop breathing again. Scully could barely watch as yet another tube went down his throat, this time for a ventilator. 

It was touch and go for so long, but he was finally in stable condition. His lungs were completely clear and when he woke, he would be taken off the vent. Scully was exhausted as she sat at his bedside, and she couldn’t believe that it had only been twenty-four hours since Mulder first got sick. If felt like weeks. Her body and mind felt like it was days since she last slept. Holding his hand firmly, Scully laid her head on his bed next to him. Truthfully, she wanted to climb in that bed with him and wrap him in her protective arms and never let go. She had almost lost him again.

She drifted off at some point, because the next thing Scully knew, his hand jerked in her grip. Once, and then again. Scully looked up to see his panicked eyes and his hand reaching for the tube in his mouth. 

“Mulder, Mulder, it’s okay. I’m here,” she told him reassuringly, gently restraining his arm. “I’m here,” she repeated, stroking his face. “You’re okay. You’ve been on a ventilator, but now that you’re awake, we can take the tube out. Do you understand?” she asked, searching his face.

Mulder calmed and nodded his head slightly, clutching her hand tightly in his. 

“Good,” she said with a smile, “I’m just going to go get the doctor.” 

Mulder shook his head and held her hand tighter. He didn’t want her to go.

“It’s okay,” she assured him again, this time kissing his forehead. “I’ll be right back, I promise.” 

With a hesitant nod, he dropped her hand. With one more encouraging smile, Scully left the room, quickly locating the doctor. The tube was removed and Mulder’s breathing remained steady. A few more tests were done, but he was declared to be on the mend. The doctor only required him to remain in the hospital for two more days for observation and to improve his strength. Finally, after a parade of doctors and nurse came through the room, Mulder and Scully were alone. 

“Are you alright?” he asked. He could only whisper and even that took considerable effort. 

Scully laughed as she sat beside him on the bed. “You’re asking me that? Mulder, I’m fine.” 

He gave her a glare. She knew that he didn’t like her to use that word, especially with him. 

“Sorry,” she apologized. “I guess you just…you just gave me a scare,” she said with a sniffle, trying to push down the impending tears. 

Mulder stroked her face with a shaky hand. “I’m sorry,” he whispered sincerely. 

All of the emotions of the day caught up with Scully again and she couldn’t stop the tears that began to fall. Mulder wrapped his fingers around the back of her neck and pulled her down to him. Scully gave in and rested her head lightly on his chest as she cried. 

“I was so scared,” she said through her tears. “I was just so terrified that I would lose you.” 

“It’s okay,” Mulder whispered, running his fingers through her hair. “You’re not going to lose me.” 

Scully lifted her head and gazed into his eyes for a few moments before kiss his lips softly but with meaning. She then rested her forehead against his, a favorite posture of theirs.

“I love you,” she whispered. 

“I love you too,” he replied as he sighed in contentment and pulled her back onto his body. Scully rested her head on his shoulder, reveling in the feel of his arms around her once again. The held each other this way for many minutes until Scully felt Mulder go limp. She looked up to see that he had fallen asleep; he was obviously still weak and exhausted. 

Scully moved back to her chair and spent the next hour watching him sleep, drifting off herself from time to time. Skinner knocking on the door finally interrupted her quiet vigil. 

“I heard he woke up,” he said as he looked down on Mulder’s sleeping form.

“He did for a while,” she replied. “He’s just so weak; he couldn’t stay awake for long.”

“But everything else is good?”

Scully nodded.

“Good, good,” he replied. “Well I wanted to talk to him, but I’m expected back in DC for a debrief. I have to leave now to catch my flight.”

“It’s fine sir, I’ll tell him you came by.”

“Thank you Agent Scully. Will you be staying here until he is discharged?” 

“Of course,” Scully answered, maybe a little too quickly. “We, uh, we’ll drive back in a few days.” 

Skinner nodded knowingly. “Get some rest, Scully. You deserve it.” 

Scully smiled. “Thank you. And thank you for all you did for Mulder.”

As Skinner walked out of the room, Scully wondered if he suspected anything. There had definitely been a few times that she had let her guard down. The blinds weren’t even closed when she had been cuddled up to Mulder earlier. He could’ve seen it all, but at that moment, Scully didn’t even care. He was their friend; if he knew anything, he would keep their secret. Right now, the only thing Scully cared about was Mulder. He was alive and he would soon be healthy again. As she gave in and climbed into the hospital bed with him, that was all she cared about.


	10. Sick Leave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the fluff lately. I know it's all unicorns and kittens now, but I'm just biding my time until it all falls apart.

Scully’s eyes struggled to focus on the endless stretch of road before her, and she shook her head vigorously, trying to wake herself up. She glanced over to where Mulder slept soundly in the seat next to her and she was a tiny bit jealous. She had gotten very little sleep in the days since Mulder’s illness and she was exhausted. 

They had been on the road for over three hours and Mulder hadn’t stirred once. With only two hours left to go, Scully was determined to keep driving; even though she knew that if the situation were reversed, she would insist that Mulder pull over and get some rest. It was Friday afternoon, and she knew that if she could just make it home, they’d have the whole weekend to sleep. 

“Damn it,” she cursed as the car slightly swerved off the road, her eyes having held a blink a little too long. With a sigh, she took the next exit off the highway, desperately in need of caffeine. 

As she put the car in park, Mulder finally awoke. “Are we home?” he croaked.

“Only if home is a truck stop in Virginia,” Scully answered. “I just needed to stop for a few minutes to stretch my legs and get some coffee. Maybe run a few laps around the parking lot,” she mused. 

“If you’re tired, I could drive a while,” Mulder offered sincerely. 

Scully smiled and ran her fingers through his hair affectionately. “They gave you more pain meds than I thought if you think you’re in any condition to drive.” 

“Actually I was questioning if they gave me any at all,” he croaked. “My throat and chest feel pretty rough and I have a headache that won’t go away.”

“Oh Mulder, I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I can’t give you anything for another hour.” 

“It’s okay,” he whispered, “I’ll be fine.” 

Scully reached out and kissed his forehead, noting that he might have a low fever, nothing to get too worried about, but she would need to keep a check on it. 

“I’ll be right back. I might bring you back a surprise,” she said with a smile, tapping his cheek teasingly.

True to her word, she was back within a matter of minutes with a large coffee for herself and a pint of chocolate ice cream for Mulder. She hoped it would feel good to his sore throat, and he reported that it did help a little with the pain. Sadly, he was only able to eat half of the container before the act of swallowing became too difficult for him. As he drifted off again, his big body folded uncomfortably in the small sedan, Scully ran her hand up and down his thigh reassuringly. This wouldn’t be the easiest of recoveries, and she only prayed that it would go as well as possible for him.

Just when she thought that Mulder was completely under again, Scully heard his husky whisper. “Sing something.”

“What?” she asked, glancing at him to see him looking at her with a slight smile on his face.

“So I know you’re awake.”

“Mulder,” Scully warned.

“Come on, Scully. Do it for me.” 

How did she get herself into this situation with him again? She sighed and shook her head with a smile. This time, when Mulder fell asleep, it was to the off tune strains of “Jeremiah was a Bullfrog.” 

They finally made it back to DC, and with a quick stop at Mulder’s apartment for some extra clothes, they arrived at Scully’s home. There was no question that he would be spending his doctor ordered two weeks of convalescence at her place. She knew that he wasn’t good at taking caring of himself, and she wanted to be sure that he rested and took his medication as scheduled. 

The weekend progressed as she predicted. There was a lot of sleeping involved, especially from Mulder. He was still extremely weak and often in pain, and Scully spent most of her waking hours taking care of him. She kept tabs on his temperature, made food and drinks for him that would soothe his throat, gave him breathing treatments every few hours, and simply comforted him. She didn’t mind doing it; they were partners in every way, so taking care of each was part of the job description. 

As Sunday night rolled around, Mulder was feeling slightly better. He had moved from the bed to the couch, so that was improvement, and he was able to stay awake for longer periods of time. He could even carry on short conversations with Scully without them ending in painful coughing bouts. 

That night he laid on the couch watching a Twilight Zone marathon, his head in Scully’s lap as she held a book in one hand and the other ran lazily through Mulder’s hair. 

“This is a good one, Scully. Watch it.”

“I am watching,” she said, taking her fingers from his hair long enough to turn the page of her novel.

Mulder sat up gingerly and took the book from her, placing it on the coffee table. 

“Hey!” she said indignantly. 

“Come on, Scully. You have to go back to work tomorrow. This is the last day I have you all to myself. Pay attention to me,” he said, pulling her down to lay in front of him and molding himself into her from behind. 

“All I’ve done the past five days is pay attention you,” she rationalized, even as her body sank back into his languidly. 

“And you’re very good at it,” he replied, his voice still barely above a whisper. “Thank you,” he said into her ear, sending shivers down her spine. He kissed her neck softly and she sighed. This was definitely the longest stretch they had gone without being intimate, and although they were both frustrated, they knew he wouldn’t be up to it for some time. 

“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” Scully said, looking over her shoulder at him. 

“Hey, I could finish,” he said, his statement punctuated with a couple of chest rattling coughs. 

She rubbed his arm reassuringly once he settled back against her, exhaustion taking back over. “You were saying?” 

Mulder gave a morbid laugh and nuzzled his nose against her hair. They watched the show in silence for a few minutes before he spoke up again, this time his voice even more hoarse. 

“Are you going to be lonely at work tomorrow without me?”

“Well the basement is very quiet when you’re not there,” she replied. “But I have a few plans to keep myself busy. Maybe the time will just fly by. If it doesn’t I’ll go upstairs and recruit some handsome, young agent to keep me company.” 

“Haha,” he said in mock amusement. “Like anyone could compare to me.” 

The next morning, Scully woke before the alarm. Looking over at the harsh red numbers, she realized with disgust that she could’ve slept fifteen more glorious minutes. With a quite groan, she reached over and turned off the alarm, not wanting it to wake Mulder, and rolled over to look at him. He lay on his side with his back to her, his breathing still rough but comfortingly steady. Scully reached out and wrapped her arm around his body, pulling herself close. She burrowed her face into the back of his neck with a smile; she so rarely got to be the big spoon, and it felt good to hold him for once.

Scully breathed in deeply, taking in his scent, and once again said a silent prayer of thanks that he was still with her. She would never take a moment like this, where she could just hold him in her arms, for granted again. She was happy to stay just like this forever, but eventually the reality of the workday forced her from the warm bed and into the shower. When she emerged from the bathroom a short time later, hair and make-up done but still in her robe, she found Mulder sitting on the edge of the bed, hair sticking up in all directions. 

“Good morning,” she said with a smile, unable to resist running her fingers through the mess of hair.

“Hmm,” he responded groggily, wrapping his arms around her waist and placing his head on her chest. 

They held each other contentedly for a few moments before Scully reached down and kissed his lips lightly. 

“I’ll make you some breakfast before I have to go,” she said, grabbing his hands and pulling him into an upright position. He swayed slightly, but Scully made sure that she had a tight grasp on him so he wouldn’t fall. 

Breakfast consisted of oatmeal, which Mulder was able to eat half of before his throat began to protest. Scully helped him settle on the couch and continued to ready herself for work. 

“Are you sure you’ll be okay without me?” she asked as she clicked through the house in her heels, bringing Mulder random objects that he might need throughout the day. 

“I’ll be fine,” he answered. “You’ve got me set up here: remotes, magazines, books, pillows, blankets, phone, drinks… I’m good.”

“Okay, well you call me if you need me. Anything at all. Don’t forget to take your meds at 11 and your Nebulizer at 1.”

“I’ve got it,” Mulder assured her, pulling her down for a kiss. “Now go have fun without me.” 

Scully gave him one last kiss. “I’ll see you this afternoon. I love you.”

“Love you too,” he answered and with one last smile, she was out the door. 

Mulder was proud of himself for staying conscious most of the morning, and proud of Scully for making it through the morning without calling to check on him, but after taking his medicine as promised, he knew that it was time for a nap. Pulling down the blanket that Scully had set out for him, Mulder burrowed down into her comfortable couch for a nice, long rest. 

Only a few hours into his nap, however, he was woken by the sound of a shocked voice.

“Oh! Oh, my goodness!” Margaret Scully’s panicked voice startled him awake. 

Mulder shot up, reaching for a gun that wasn’t there, before he realized where he was and who was standing at the door with her arms full of grocery bags. 

“Oh my god, Fox. You scared me to death! What are you doing here? It’s a Monday, why aren’t you at work?”

“Mrs. Scully,” Mulder said, shaking his head to ward off the dizziness caused by sitting up too quickly.

“Maggie,” she replied. “Are you sick? You sound horrible.” 

“Sorry, uh, Maggie,” he croaked, “Yeah, something…weird…happened to me on our last case and I’m out of commission for two weeks. Scully, uh, Dana, has been taking care of me.” 

“Hmm,” Maggie answered with a raised eyebrow. “She’s good at that, huh?”

Mulder laughed embarrassedly, not sure how much she suspected. “Uh, yeah. So, what brings you around?”

Maggie crossed to the kitchen and deposited her bags on the counter. “Oh, I sneak in here every few weeks and drop off groceries. Dana is always so busy that I worry she isn’t taking care of herself. I’m not sure if she’s figured out my scheming yet or not.” 

“So that solves the case of the mystery bacon. I knew we’d figure it out one day. We are FBI agents you know,” he commented with a smirk.

Maggie laughed and went about putting away groceries, all the while finding it very interesting that Mulder knew the state of her daughter’s breakfast foods. 

“Have you had lunch? I see here that Dana set you out some canned soup, but I think I have all the ingredients here to make you some of my famous homemade chicken soup.” 

“You don’t have to do that,” Mulder replied as his stomach growled in anticipation. 

“It’s no trouble. And I see you have all your medicines over there. Are you taking everything as scheduled?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” he said with a smile. He wanted to be annoyed with these Scully women and their doting over him, but he was secretly relieved to have people who cared enough about him to cater to his every need during his recovery. What Mrs. Scully was doing now was a simple act, but so much more than his own mother would have done for him. 

“You just lay back and relax,” she told him. “I hate that I woke you, try to go back to sleep.”

“I’m okay,” he replied, resting back against his pillow. “I think I’ll just watch a little TV. How do you feel about trashy talk shows?” 

“They’re my favorite,” Maggie said with a smile as she emptied ingredients into a big pot. 

Thirty minutes later, the soup was cooking on the stove while Mulder and Maggie watched TV. They heard the sound of a key in the door and Scully soon burst in.

“Hey!” she said in a sing-song voice before laying eyes on the two of them, sitting side by side on the couch watching the Maury Povich Show. She looked between them in surprise. 

“What is happening?” she asked with a calmness that barely hid her shock. 

“Dana,” Maggie scolded, “I cannot believe that you didn’t tell me that Fox was so sick!” 

“Mom, what are you doing here?” Scully exclaimed. 

“Ok, the jig is up. I sneak in here and bring you groceries,” Maggie said, going to Scully and giving her a hug. Scully hugged her back, shooting Mulder a look over her shoulder. 

“I’m sorry for being so secretive about it,” she continued. “I just worry about you and I know that you don’t like to ask for help. Imagine my surprise when I found Fox asleep on your couch.”

Scully rolled her eyes at her mother’s sly grin. “Thank you for looking out for me,” she said, giving her a peck on the cheek. 

Scully moved into the living room and sat beside Mulder, placing a hand on his forehead to check for fever. “How do you feel?”

“Okay, better than yesterday,” he replied hoarsely. “Why are you home so early?”

“Oh, I felt a cold coming on, decided it was best take the rest of the day off. You know, just to be safe.” 

“Just to be safe, huh?”

“Yep, it had nothing to do with wanting to check on you,” she said matter of fact.

“Nothing?”

“Nope,” she said with a grin. Glancing to see her mother at the stove with her back turned, Scully reached out for Mulder’s cheek and pulled him in for a quick kiss. 

“Good thing I made plenty of soup,” Maggie said, her back still to the couple. “Since you’re sick and everything.” 

Scully grinned at Mulder and made her way to the kitchen. “Thanks, Mom.”

“It’s no trouble, dear,” she replied. “So is Fox really okay?” she asked quietly. 

“Yeah,” Scully replied. “It was pretty…scary… there for a while. But he pulled through. He just needs some time to recover.” 

“Dana saved the day. She saved my sorry life,” Mulder said as loudly as possible from the living room. 

Maggie looked at her daughter with pride. 

“It wasn’t just me,” Scully said humbly. 

“Well I’d be dead if it weren’t for you,” Mulder said confidently. 

Scully shook her head with a smile as she dipped him out a bowl of soup. After their lunch, Maggie packed up the leftovers in refrigerator and promised to return in a few days to check up on Mulder. This time, however, she assured them she would call first. 

Mulder and Scully spent the rest of the afternoon lounging around the apartment together. Mulder napped more, having over exerted himself earlier, and Scully was happy to lay with him, nodding off herself from time to time. 

As the night wound down, Scully decided to draw Mulder a bath. It worried her to have him standing long enough to take a shower, as he still wasn’t even remotely at full strength. 

“I might get lonely in there alone,” Mulder remarked as Scully led him by the hand to the bathroom.

“I can maybe do something about that,” she said with a smile as she began to undress before him. 

Mulder grinned and removed his own clothes. 

“Me first,” Scully said as she stepped into the bath and scooted to the back.

She held his hand steadily as he stepped in and slowly lowered himself down, settling between her legs with his head pillowed on her chest. 

“This is the life,” he muttered as he succumbed to the hot water and the soft body beneath him. 

Scully hummed in response as she lathered up her hands and began running them down his chest, sides, and legs. He sighed in contentment, dragging his fingers up and down her calves. Once Scully finished with her ministrations, she wrapped her arms around Mulder’s chest and laid her head back, her body totally relaxed. 

They both laid in silence for a while in the gradually cooling water, but eventually the dropping temperature forced them out. After lifting himself gingerly from the tub, Mulder took Scully by the hand and helped her step out. He grabbed a big, fluffy towel from the rack and wrapped it around her. The towel was soon followed by his arms as he held her tightly even as he leaned on her for support. 

As he held her, Mulder thought about how this position so closely mirrored their own relationship. Scully both accepted his affections while holding him up at the same time. When one was vulnerable, the other was strong. They depended on each other and supported the other no matter what. They were stronger together than they could ever be apart. Scully was his anchor. For the past seven years, she was the reason he got out of bed every morning. He was beginning to question how he ever lived a day without her in his life. 

“You okay, Mulder?” she asked, leaning in to his embrace as she held him up. 

Mulder pulled back and kissed her forehead firmly. 

She reached out and wrapped a towel around him as well, rubbing her hands up and down his arms to dry him off. 

This time Mulder kissed her lips, his tongue lightly caressing hers. 

“I’m great,” he replied with a smile. “I’m great.”


	11. Bad Days, Good Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the terribly short chapter! As always, thanks for reading.

Scully dropped her briefcase to the floor and flung her shoes off her feet. Her coat didn’t even make it to the rack; it floated to the ground right inside the front door. Dana Scully was not one for clutter or messiness, so Mulder knew without asking that it must have been a rough day. 

She marched straight to the couch and collapsed without even a look at Mulder slaving away in the kitchen. He reduced the heat on the stove, covered his pan, and joined her on the couch, lifting her feet and placing them on his lap.

“So how was your day, honey?” he asked, pressing his thumbs in circles into the arch of her foot. 

“It was horrible,” she responded with her arm thrown over her eyes. 

“What happened?” Mulder asked, continuing to rub her feet.

“Budget meetings all day. So basically, I spent the entire day trying to prove that our work is worth the funds allocated to us. It was just an endless parade of suits looking at me and treating me like I’m crazy.”

“You definitely know how I feel,” Mulder said, wishing more than ever that his two week sick leave were over and he could help her fight the naysayers. 

“But when we’re together, I make you look less crazy. In that room today, I was a lone insane agent. Skinner tried to help me when he could, but I didn’t want to make him look bad. It will be a miracle if our budget isn’t cut in half next quarter,” she said with a sigh, finally looking at him. 

“I’m sure you did fine,” he said, rubbing her leg reassuringly. “You’re always too hard on yourself. I bet you dazzled them.” 

Scully snorted in response. “I’m just ready for you to be back and for us to get a new case. I’d happily take the Flukeman over another day like today.” 

“Just a few more days and I’m good to go. You know I’m feeling a lot better. I’d sneak in if I didn’t think Skinner would kick my ass out of there.” 

Scully gave him an exhausted smile. “I know you would. And I know that you’re feeling better, but I don’t want you to push it and relapse. Maybe even your voice will return soon.” 

“I know you enjoy my sexy voice,” Mulder said, waggling his eyebrows. This got a laugh out of Scully, and Mulder leaned over and kissed her lightly. “You stay right here and rest, I’ll bring dinner to you.”

She smiled gratefully and closed her eyes for a few minutes until Mulder returned with a plate full of pasta. They ate side by side on the couch, and Scully let Mulder do most of the talking, she was too exhausted to do more than listen. He refused to let her clean the kitchen, so she opted to take a long soak in the tub, hoping to relax away some of the day’s stress. After a while, Mulder joined her in the bathroom. He sat on the edge of the tub and ran his fingers up and down her slick arm.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through today by yourself,” he said. “I know that you can handle yourself in any situation, but I don’t like it when I’m not with you.” 

“It’s not your fault, Mulder,” she sighed. “It was just a bad day. Tomorrow will be better. Right now I just want to go to bed. I’m so tired.” 

Mulder helped her out of the tub and locked the apartment up for the night as she changed into her pajamas. Since they began sleeping together, Scully had opted for more feminine pajamas, that is when she didn’t sleep naked in his arms, but this night she wanted nothing more than to wrap herself up in one of his old t-shirts. 

“Looking good,” he remarked when he saw her, the faded Knicks shirt hanging to mid thigh and showing an enticing amount of leg. He stripped to his undershirt and boxers, cursing that the doctor had ordered no sex for him until he was medically released. He might have to remain sexually frustrated, but he could at least make her feel good. 

“Lay down,” he ordered, “I think you deserve a massage.” 

“I’ll take it,” she replied, pulling the covers back and laying on her stomach. 

Mulder straddled her lower back and began to work his hands over her neck, shoulders, and back, working out the tension. Scully sighed in contentment as his strong hands found all of her pressure points and massaged the muscles until she was completely relaxed. 

“Better?” he asked as he joined her lying down and pulled the sheet over them. 

“Yes, thank you,” she said, melting into his body as he spooned her from behind, holding her tightly. 

Mulder’s top hand ran up and down her hip, each time the shirt rode up a little more. Scully sighed softly at feel of his hands on her. It had been almost two weeks since they’d touched each other and she missed it. Eventually his hand made its way under the shirt and onto her flat stomach. His fingertips trailed softly over her muscles, into the dip of her belly button, and over the swell of her hip, leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake. Scully wondered where he was going with it, but when she felt his hand palm her breast, there was no question about it. 

“Mulder,” she gasped as he kneaded her skin. “What are you doing?”

“I think you know what I’m doing,” he whispered in her ear, continuing his gently assault on her breasts.

“But you can’t…You’re breathing…isn’t strong enough for vigorous activity,” she got out between gasps. 

“Maybe not, but I can do something for you. I’ll be okay. I just want to make you feel good.” 

Scully couldn’t argue with him, not with his fingers gently rolling her nipple. She let a drawn out moan as her arousal grew. He began to run his lips over neck, sucking gently in tandem with his soft pinches of her nipples. Slowly his other hand made its way under her hip to the front of her body, and she groaned when she felt his fingers touch her through her underwear. He spent many minutes like this, lips on her neck, hand working her breasts, and fingers teasing her through the soaked fabric of her panties. 

“Uhhh, Mulder, please,” she pleaded, needing to feel his fingers on her body, in her body. 

He moaned in response, unable to keep from pressing his erection into her backside. He took some slow breaths, trying to calm his body, and then lifted his hand to the top of her underwear. He slowly lowered it beneath the fabric, taking his time and letting his fingers touch everywhere but where she wanted him. Scully moaned and gripped his forearm, pushing his hand down further, and finally his fingers slipped inside her wet folds. They both groaned as he touched her every crevice, circling her opening languidly before dipping his fingers inside. 

Scully’s moans were louder this time as she gripped his arm even tighter. He continued to move slowly, working her up to the point that when he finally touched her clit she almost shrieked. 

“Mulder,” she cried. “Oh, God…oh,” she whimpered as he began to circle it, gradually increasing pressure. He continued to work his magic on her nipples as he increased the speed on her clit, urged on by her increasing cries.

“Mulder…Mulder…oh, don’t stop, don’t stop,” she chanted, writhing beneath his hand. 

Scully’s fingernails dug into his arm as she bucked her hips frantically against his hand, until she could finally take it no more and came with a loud cry. Her body went limp in his arms as he continued to softly stroke her body as she recovered from the strong release. After a few moments, Mulder rolled away from her, needing a little distance to calm his body and breathing. She rolled over to watch him with her sleepy eyes, but didn’t touch him. 

“You okay?” she whispered.

“Yeah,” he replied with a solitary cough. “I just need a minute.” 

Scully smiled softly and reached over to give him a light peck on the cheek.

“Scully,” he warned.

“Sorry,” she said, “I’ll try to keep my hands off you. I just wanted to say thank you. You take good care of me.”

“The feeling is mutual,” he replied with a small laugh. 

After a few more minutes, Mulder pulled Scully to him and she settled her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arm around his chest. In the safety of each other’s embrace, it didn’t take long for either of them to fall asleep, both with knowledge that tomorrow would be better.


	12. Back in the Saddle

Scully stood at Mulder’s apartment door, questioning whether to knock or use her key. This is absurd, she thought, he always lets himself into her place; but of course, he was also practically living there. With a laugh about the ridiculousness of it all, she pulled out her key and opened the door to a dark apartment, the only light came from the fish tank. 

“Mulder?” she called into the darkness. 

No reply came, so she entered the apartment, turning on lights as she moved through the rooms. After a quiet Sunday morning together, they went their separate ways for the afternoon, with plans to meet at his place afterwards. Scully spent her day cleaning up the apartment, running errands, and doing a little shopping. Mulder, having been cleared to return to work the following day, decided to test his recovery and pick up a few games of basketball at the local Y; of course, after assuring Scully that he would take it easy. He also spent a couple of hours with the Lone Gunmen. It had been too long since he just spent some time trading theories with the guys. When he invited Scully along, she politely declined. 

Scully deposited her bag in the bedroom. Although she kept a couple of work suits and shirts at his place, she threw in a few more things to keep there along with a little something special she got for their first night back together since Mulder’s illness. She returned to the living room and fed the fish, feeling a bit guilty that the poor things were so neglected lately. Maybe they should just move the tank to her apartment. 

She flopped on the couch and turned on the TV, but after flipping through the channels and finding nothing to watch, she just turned it off. Restlessly waiting for Mulder to return, Scully began to wonder through the apartment, aimlessly picking up clutter and stacking random papers that were strewn about the desk. As she moved to the kitchen and began to scrape the weeks old dishes, she was once again thankful that they had chosen her apartment as home base. His place was too small and needed a major overhaul in terms of cleaning. She was, however, proud that he seemed to treat her apartment with better care than his own. She rarely had to get on him about dirty dishes left on the coffee table or laundry that missed the hamper. The days that he took out the trash without her asking were the days that she found him most attractive! She knew that it was probably just due to the newness of the relationship and that his cleanliness wouldn’t last forever, but she would enjoy it while she could. 

As she was loading dishes into the dishwasher, she heard his key in the door. 

“Hey,” he greeted her, dropping his gym bag on the floor and joining her in the kitchen. “You don’t have to do that.” 

“I know,” she replied, “but someone needed to. It was reeking in here.” 

“Thank you,” he said, taking her hands and giving her a quick kiss before pulling her out of the kitchen and into the living room. 

“How was your day?” she asked, sitting by him on the couch as he flipped through all the channels on the TV. 

“Good. Basketball was good. I got winded a few times, but when that happened I just took a break and was fine. Don’t worry, I didn’t overdo it.”

“And how were the guys?”

Mulder finally settled on a bad movie on the Sci-Fi channel. “They were…the usual,” he said with a laugh. “They were all very curious about how you were and when you would come by. Frohike especially.” 

“I bet,” she replied with a shake of her head and roll of the eyes. 

“They did tell me about this new message board that I should check out,” he said, going to his desk and booting up his computer. “It’s for people who’ve had sightings of strange creatures.” 

“How is that different from every other message board you guys go on?” Scully asked with a groan. 

“Because this one is for sightings of large reptilian creatures.”

“Godzilla?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Well not that big, Scully,” he said with a laugh as if she were being ridiculous. 

Scully shook her head and kissed him on the head as he continued to stare at his computer screen. “I’m going to get ready for bed.” 

“Be there in a minute,” he replied, eyes still glued to the monitor. 

“Don’t be long,” she said. “Big day tomorrow.”

“I won’t be,” he answered. 

Scully went into the bedroom and began her nightly routine. After retrieving her Victoria’s Secret shopping bag, she changed into the new slip that she had bought. It was red, a color that she rarely wore since it clashed with her hair, but in the store she just knew that Mulder would find the color rather appealing. The slip’s strap tied around the neck and had barely there lace cups that left nothing to the imagination. After a few enticing cutouts below the bust, a satin skirt flowed to just below her butt. It was also backless to right above her rear. 

Looking in the mirror, Scully felt outrageously girlie, but very sexy. Never in her life had she bought lingerie for a man. She had always bought it for herself, so she would feel good about herself, whether she was involved with a man at the time or not. But this was solely for Mulder. In the past, she might have been ashamed of her behavior, but now she was happy to wear something or do something just to make her partner happy. She guessed that was just part of being in love. That it made her feel confident and sexy was simply extra. 

She turned off the harsh overhead light and switched on the lamp on its lowest setting. She pulled back the covers and fluffed the pillows before placing herself in the middle of the bed, waiting for Mulder to appear. And she waited. 

“Mulder, come to bed,” she called over the sound of his furious typing. 

“Just a couple of more minutes, Scully,” he replied. 

She waited a couple of more minutes and then a couple more. Finally, she climbed out of bed and returned to the living room to find him still bent over his computer.

“Mulder,” she said in a low voice, not wanting to sound like she was nagging.

“Almost done, Scully. There’s just this guy who saw…,”

“Mulder,” she interrupted, and he finally turned to her.

“Scully, oh my God,” he said, his mouth agape. “Wow.”

“That’s more like it,” she said, internally thrilled at his reaction but trying to keep her cool.

“Oh, wow, you look…wow. You look amazing. I’ve never seen you in anything like this.” 

“I’ve never had anything like this. I got it just for you,” she replied, biting her lip at the sight of his erection already straining through his sweatpants. 

He growled in response and quickly made his way to her. He ran his hands reverently over the satin and lace before craning his neck down to kiss her deeply. The kiss quickly intensified as Scully pulled his head down to her and he ran his hands all over her bare back, pulling her body into his. It was times like this, with Scully barefoot, that he realized how completely tiny she was. He never took too much notice to her stature because her character was anything but small, but right now, his aching neck was well aware of their height discrepancy. 

Not breaking the kiss, Mulder reached down and hooked his arm under her legs, pulling her into a firefighter’s hold. Scully only hummed in response and pushed her tongue further into his mouth. He groaned as he began to walk them to the bedroom, bumping into random objects along the way. 

Once there, Mulder tossed Scully onto the bed. She giggled and watched as he removed his shirt and sweatpants, leaving him in only his boxers. “Come here, hot stuff, it’s been too long.” 

“Hot stuff, huh?” he asked as he slowly climbed up her body, kissing it along the way.

“Oh, yeah,” she said, languidly running her fingers along his torso and toying with the waistband of his boxers. “Very hot.” 

“Look who’s talking,” he said, trailing his lips from her neck to her collarbone and into her cleavage. “Hot doesn’t even start to describe you. You’re so beautiful, so sexy, you’re just ravishing. My brain can’t come up with enough words to describe you because all I have to do is look at you to turn me on. All I can think about is how badly I want to make you come.” 

Scully groaned at his words, then at what he was doing to her body. As his lips sought her nipple through the lace of her lingerie, his hands worked their way under the slip to clutch at her ass. His mouth left her breast only to crush her mouth once again. Their tongues dueled relentlessly as their lower bodies grinded against each other. 

Scully whimpered when he pulled his lips from her, only to moan as his mouth began to once again trail down her body. He stopped at her thighs, licking and nibbling along the inside until he reached her matching red panties. She watched as he slid them excruciatingly slowly down her legs and tossed them over his shoulder. He stared at her with a look of pure desire before his head disappeared under her skirt. 

She cried out, her hips lifting off the mattress, as his tongue immediately slid into her wet folds. She looked down but the skirt obscured his face. Rather than lift it up, she left it, finding it unbelievably sexy to not be able to see him, but to feel his every movement. 

“Yes, Mulder, Oh God, yes,” she moaned as his tongue and mouth worked their magic on her body. Her body began to writhe uncontrollably after several minutes of his ministrations, and he had to hold her hips down as they began to buck urgently against his face. 

“Mulder, Mulder,” she whimpered, one hand clutching his hair none too gently and the other grasping the sheets. “Oh, God,” she cried as her strong orgasm washed over her body. It seemed to last forever and left her body so sensitive that she had to push his face gently away from her. 

She lay limply on the bed, unable to move even an inch. Mulder rose up to lie beside her, only running his fingers lightly over her alert body. He looked in awe at the expression on her face, the pure beauty of it. It was exhaustion, relief, pure satisfaction. It was the look he wanted to put on her face every day for the rest of his life. 

Finally, Scully turned her head to look at him. “Wow,” she said with a smile. 

Mulder laughed and leaned over to kiss her softly. It didn’t take long for the passion to once again take over and their hands and mouths ran frantically over the other’s body. Scully pushed Mulder’s boxers down his hips and he let out a tremendous groan when she took him into her hand. She worked him for a few moments before he pushed her hand away gently, afraid that he wouldn’t last much longer like that. 

With a wicked grin, Scully rolled him to his back and climbed on top of him. “I think you need to just relax and let me take care of things.”

“Just what the doctor ordered,” he said with a groan as she rubbed against his erection.

She reached up to untie the straps on her slip until her stopped her. “Leave it on,” he said, his voice even huskier than usual. She smiled and reached down to kiss his lips, rubbing her lace clad breasts against his chest. As they kissed, Scully slid slowly down onto him, causing them to moan in one another’s mouths. After one last kiss, she sat up on him fully and began to move up and down. 

“God, Scully,” Mulder got out between clenched teeth as she rode him slowly, the satin of her skirt tickling his abs. He reached up to play with her nipples as her speed increased, working one out of its lace enclosure. Scully leaned down and he sat up on his elbows to take her nipple into his mouth. She moaned loudly, moving harder on him, as he sucked and licked her. 

They were both so close now. Mulder pulled her down fully on top of him and began to pump up furiously into her. Scully grinded her clit relentlessly against him, crying his name with each of his thrusts. Her words were unintelligible when she came, gasping against his neck. Mulder clutched her ass and pulled her down hard on him one last time as he thrust into her, coming with a loud cry of his own. 

They recovered in silence for a few minutes with Scully’s body lying lifelessly over Mulder’s. Her face was still buried in his neck and his arms draped over her back, holding her to him. Finally, she found the ability to speak again. 

“You okay, Mulder?”

He sighed in contentment and answered, “If you’re asking about my breathing, I’m fine.” 

She lifted her face to his and placed lazy kisses on his jaw before nuzzling her nose against his cheek. “I love you,” she whispered.

Mulder smiled and kissed her lips softly. “And I am so in love with you, Dana.”

Scully had to fight back tears at his words. He did not use her name lightly. Those times that he called her Dana were precious and not to be meant taken for granted. He said her name like a prayer, and she let his words cover her like a protective embrace. 

“I never thought it was possible to love someone like this, to feel as loved as you make me feel. You’re the most important thing in the world to me. I hope that you know that,” he whispered, running his fingers softly through her hair.

This time Scully couldn’t stop the lone tear that slid down her face. “Of course I know. You show me every day, even long before we were together.”

“Good,” he replied, tightening his grip on her. “I just never want to take you for granted. I know that there have been times that I have in the past, and I’m so sorry. You are my everything.” 

“And you are mine,” she said, rolling to her side and wrapping her body around his. 

They held each other for a several content minutes before he responded, “Sorry for being so sappy.”

Scully laughed, “As if a girl ever tires of hearing her man confess his undying love.” She settled her head into the crook of his neck, drowsiness beginning to take over. 

“Hey, I was thinking about coming back here after work tomorrow to box up some things to take to your place. Is that okay?” he asked hopefully. 

“Of course it is,” she responded. “And I think it’s okay if you start calling it our place.”

Mulder couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. “It does feel more like home than any other place I’ve ever lived. This apartment was just a place where I existed. I didn’t even have a bed for the longest time. But your apartment feels like the place that I, that we, live. But it’s much more than the apartment. It’s all you. You’re my home.” 

Scully looked at him in pure adoration before reaching up to kiss his lips firmly. “You’re saying all the right things tonight. Are you trying to get lucky again?”

“Hey now, you’re the one who said we have a big day tomorrow. We can’t be zombies at the office,” he said with a laugh.

“There is always tomorrow night,” she said, raising her eyebrows at him.

“I cannot wait,” he said, snuggling in closer to her as they both drifted off to a peaceful sleep in each other’s arms.


	13. Hollywood Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place immediately following the episode 'Hollywood AD.' It's short and sweet. I'm truly surprised that I had the ability to write anything because I just found out that Gillian will be at my local Con and I'm dead! I may or may not have cried just a tad!

Mulder recovered completely from his illness, and a few weeks later the Agents found themselves inexplicably at a big Hollywood premiere. But this wasn’t just any movie, it was a movie that was loosely, to say the least, based on their work. Much to Mulder’s dismay, the film was a train wreck of epic proportions and made him feel like a fool. The only redeeming quality of the entire experience was that he was now walking down Hollywood Blvd with Scully’s fingers in one hand and a Bureau credit card in the other. 

They strolled aimlessly for a little while until Scully’s higher than usual heels began to hurt her feet and they hailed a cab. 

“Where to?” the driver asked. 

Neither Mulder nor Scully knew of any of LA’s finer dining establishments; their normal travel diets consisted of fast food eaten in the car or greasy diners. 

“Nicest restaurant that you know,” Mulder replied. “Preferably one with dancing. We’re celebrating.” 

Scully raised her eyebrows. “What are we celebrating, Mulder?” 

“That we’re alive, we’re happy, and our lives were just immortalized in the worst movie to ever grace the big screen. And I know bad movies. Even the MST3K guys wouldn’t be able to take this.” 

“Well, I don’t know what that means, but I do know that it will soon only be found at the bottom of a video store bargain bin. And just so you know,” she whispered into his ear, “you have the biggest flash light I’ve ever seen.” 

Mulder laughed and squeezed her knee, lightly brushing her lips with his. The driver wove in and out of the heavy Saturday night traffic, trying to ignore the tender make out session that was happening in the back of his cab. By the time they arrived at their destination, Mulder and Scully were both panting softly. 

After giving the cabbie a generous tip, they stepped inside a huge art deco building. The restaurant had high ceilings with large chandeliers and mirrored walls. The tables were small and intimate but the dance floor was expansive. A live band played as couples swayed to the music. With several bills passed under the table to the host, Mulder and Scully were immediately shown to their table in a quiet corner. 

“This isn’t our usual scene,” Scully remarked as her eyes darted among the crowd, obviously people of the upper, upper class. 

“Like I said, we’re celebrating. And I really just wanted an excuse to dance with you.” 

“You can dance with me any time, Mulder. Dancing barefoot in the living room can be just as romantic,” she said with a smile.

“And I’ll take you up on that sometime,” he said. “But maybe I just wanted to take you somewhere public. Show you off.” 

“We don’t even know anyone here.” 

“That’s okay. Even a complete stranger will be jealous of me because I have the most beautiful women in the room in my arms,” he said, squeezing her hand. 

“Wow, that movie really did a number on you,” Scully said, blushing from his compliment. She was grateful when the waiter interrupted their conversation. Their ability to express their feelings may have improved, but she still wasn’t good at taking compliments. 

Taking advantage of Skinner generosity, Mulder and Scully went all out on dinner: steak, lobster, Crème Brulee, and an expensive bottle of wine. By the time they finished, they were both stuffed and a little buzzed, but neither stopped them from taking a turn on the dance floor. 

The song was slow and they swayed softly. Mulder held Scully’s hand firmly in his own while his other hand rested at her hip. She melted into him as they danced together, whispering and giggling softly, enjoying a kiss every now and then. At the conclusion of the third song, they knew they were done. They were both tipsy and aroused, and it was time to return to the expensive hotel paid for by the movie studio. 

They made out in the cab on the way back, Scully nearly climbing on top of Mulder at times, and they made out in the elevator, Mulder pressing Scully up against the mirrored wall. By the time they reached the door to Scully’s room, Mulder didn’t even pretend that his room was occupied, they were already fumbling with each other’s clothing. 

After finally making it into the room, they were both naked in no time flat. Mulder had been hard for a long time now and Scully was more than ready for him. He fell on top of her in the bed and immediately sunk into her, both reacting with loud groans that could probably be heard next door. He tried to take his time and make it last, but Scully would have none of that and was soon meeting his trusts with frenzied thrusts of her own. They fought for dominance for a few minutes before Scully felt her orgasm coming and wrapped her legs tightly around his middle, pulling him as close to her as possible. His thrusts were hard and uncontrollable and when Scully came, it was with a cry that bordered on a scream. The pulsations of her body were too much to take and he came with a loud grunt of his own. 

Totally spent, he collapsed on top of her, using her soft breasts as a pillow. Listening to her heartbeat under his ear, Mulder wanted to stay there forever, but thought that she might not feel the same. 

“Am I crushing you?” he asked as he kissed the side of her breast. 

“No, baby, you’re fine,” she answered, eyes still closed and fingers running through his hair. 

He looked up at her abruptly. “Baby?” he asked in disbelief. 

She looked down at him with wide eyes. “I…do not know where that came from.”

“Dana Scully just called me baby,” he said in disbelief. 

“Stop it,” she groaned. “I’ve never used pet names in my life. I’m so embarrassed.” 

“I kind of like it,” he said, moving to lie beside her. “Let me try: That was hot, baby. Oh baby, let’s investigate some alien abductions. Make me dinner, baby. You know, I think I could get used to it.” 

“Ugh,” Scully replied, covering her face with her hands. “What have I started?” 

Mulder laughed and pulled her into his arms. “I love you, baby.” Scully rolled her eyes, but nonetheless, kissed him back.


	14. Family and Fireworks

Scully slammed the phone down and pinched the bridge of her nose, trying the massage out the headache she could feel forming. Mulder looked up at her from his place on the couch surprised, he thought that she had been having a perfectly pleasant conversation with her mother. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked as she joined him. 

“Well I got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that Mom is throwing her annual Fourth of July party for the family. I always look forward to it because I get to see the aunts, uncles, and cousins that I never get to see. For us, the fourth is like Christmas or Thanksgiving is for other families.”

“So what’s the bad news?” Mulder asked, already with an inkling of where this was going. 

“Well the bad news is that she can’t house everyone and refuses to make anyone pay for a hotel, so I have to play hostess as well. Bill and his family will be staying here for three days,” she grumbled. 

Mulder’s eyes grew big. “Three days?”

“I know, I know. He usually doesn’t even come because it’s so far to travel. But apparently they have all these airline miles accrued, so they’ll be here. Luckily, they’ll spend most of their time at Mom’s, but they’ll be sleeping here.”

“I guess that means I’ll be sleeping somewhere far away,” Mulder said. 

“Only if you want to keep your sanity,” Scully smiled. “I came this close to telling Mom that they could have the whole apartment and I would stay with you, but I don’t think I could handle the grief that Bill would give me. Truth be told, I can barely stand to be around him anymore. All he does is question my life choices and make me want to ingest large quantities of alcohol.” 

Mulder squeezed her hand and looked at her sadly. “I’m sorry,” was all he could say.

“It’s not your fault,” she said with conviction, squeezing his hand in return. “I veered away from the plans my family had for my life long before I met you, and that’s something he could never accept. He just likes to take most of his anger out on you. I’m the one who should be sorry.” 

“How about neither of us be sorry,” Mulder said with a smirk. “We’re not the ones behaving badly. But in any case, I guess I will be making myself scarce for the weekend.”

Scully nodded but he could see a slight bit of disappointment in her eyes. “Unless you want me to go to the party with you.”

She sighed. “You don’t have to go, Mulder. I’ll have to deal with plenty of awkward questions whether you’re there or not, so just save yourself the trouble.” 

He reached for her cheek and turned her face to look at him. “Do you want me to go with you?” he asked again. 

“Yes,” she finally answered reluctantly. 

“Then I’ll go,” he said. 

“You’ll have to put up with a lot of questions about us and what we do.”

“Since when is that new?” he asked with a laugh. 

The weekend of the Fourth arrived and Mulder was disappointed that not only would he be without Scully at night, but she had also taken the day off work on Friday so he was alone then as well. By his lunch break, he couldn’t help picking up the phone and calling her. 

“Hello,” she answered.

“What are you wearing?” he asked.

Scully laughed. “Nothing sexy,” she replied.

“Jeans?” he asked and got an affirmative reply. “I love you in jeans!” 

“Mulder, are my wardrobe choices really the reason you called or are you just lonely without me?”

“Well it sure is quiet in the dark, dank basement by myself. An empty room doesn’t cut down my theories quite like you do,” he said with a smile. 

“I thought you’d enjoying having the whole place to yourself and no me there to interrupt you. I do know how you love the sound of your own voice.”

“Ha, ha,” he replied. “Seriously though, it’s been dead today and I’m bored. What are you up to?”

“Well, since you and I cleaned my apartment last night, including erasing any signs of your existence, I spent the morning helping Mom around her house. Now I’m on airport duty. God forbid that anyone has to pay for a cab.” 

Mulder laughed, “Will I see you tonight?”

“I don’t think so,” she replied sadly. “After I get everyone to Mom’s we’re doing dinner and then I have to get everyone settled at my place. And tomorrow I promised to take the whole group sightseeing.”

“Ugh,” he said. “Have fun in all the tourist traps.” 

She groaned, “I even agreed to go on the FBI tour. I’m so embarrassed. I hope I don’t see anyone I know!” 

“Just keep them away from our office if you want to see any of them again. One look around this place and they’ll be scared of you for life.” 

Scully laughed, “Hey Mulder, I have to go, the first flight just landed. If I don’t see you tomorrow, I’ll definitely see you Sunday, right?”

“I’ll be there,” he replied. “Try not to have too much fun without me tomorrow.”

Scully’s first night with guests went surprisingly well. It was probably because he was so tired from traveling, but Bill had been very civil. As Bill and Tara settled in the guest room with the baby, Scully gave the apartment one last once over, looking for any of Mulder’s possessions that hadn’t been put away. As far as she could tell, everything was out of sight and could only be found through snooping. 

On Saturday, Mulder spent the day with the Lone Gunmen and Scully went about her tour leader duties. Including herself, there were fourteen people, but she had a surprisingly good time taking them to all the monuments. Even the official FBI tour wasn’t too bad; she successfully hid from any familiar faces and evaded questions about the specifics of her job. After dinner in the city, the group parted ways and Scully and Tara spent the rest of the evening chasing Matthew around her apartment, which was far from baby proof. By the end of the night, she had zip tied all the lower cabinets and anything breakable was put far out of reach. 

For the second consecutive day, Bill had been rather nice to her, aside from some less than conspicuous eye rolls as she attempted to explain her job to the family. He hadn’t brought up Mulder and neither had she, and she wasn’t particularly looking forward to his reaction when Mulder shows up at the party the next day. 

They headed to Maggie’s house Sunday morning, and the ladies congregated in the kitchen to help with the cooking while the men watched golf in the living room. Scully’s heart jumped in anticipation when she heard the doorbell ring and the quickly went to answer it. 

Mulder had a big smile on his face when she threw the door open, and she quickly closed it behind her before flinging her arms around his neck. They hadn’t seen each other in forty-eight hours, the longest they had been apart in the last two months, but they clung to each other as if it had been years.

“I missed you,” Scully murmured into his neck, placing her head against his shoulder. 

“Ditto,” he replied. “Two days is too long, let’s not do that again.” 

“Agreed,” she answered, pecking him lightly on the lips. When he tried to lean in for more, she pushed him away. “That’s it for now, buddy. We both know where another kiss would lead.” 

He begrudgingly agreed and followed her into the house where Maggie met him at the door with a kiss on his cheek. “So glad you could come, Fox,” she said sincerely. 

Scully led him through the living room and introduced him to the group as her FBI partner. Bill said nothing, and when he wasn’t giving Mulder icy glares, he was simply ignoring him. Both Scully and Mulder took that as a win and moved into the kitchen where he was once again introduced. The women took to him immediately, no surprise there, and he spent many minutes talking with them and relaying stories of his adventures with Scully, within reason of course. Soon the attention turned back to the meal preparation. 

“So do I stay in here with you or what?” Mulder whispered into her ear, a little nervous around so many strangers. 

“It’s probably best if you spend a little time with the men,” she replied softly. “Just watch golf, throw in some small talk, and come and get me if my brother is being mean to you,” she said with a smile. 

“Ok, small talk, I can do this,” he said, pumping himself up. 

As he walked off Scully whispered back, “Nothing about UFO’s!” 

Scully gave him fifteen minutes, minutes that she spent dodging questions about the nature of their relationship, before checking on him. She peeked into the room and spied all the other men still in their seats, watching the TV, but Mulder was rolling around on the floor, playing with Matthew. She watched as he raced cars around in circles, and when the toddler tired of that, Mulder picked him up over his head and flew him around the room, the child squealing in laughter. 

She watched him for a few moments before retreating to the bathroom, needing a minute to pull herself together. Scully looked at herself in the mirror and willed away the tears that threatened to fall. Mulder was amazing with children. He would make such a good father, and it broke her heart that she couldn’t give that to him. Self-doubt washed over her, telling her that he deserved so much more than what she had to offer him. He deserved to be with someone who could give him everything he wanted. 

Her thoughts were soon interrupted by a knock on the door and his voice saying, “Scully, you okay in there?”

She blew her nose and opened the door. “Hey, I’m okay.”

“You sure?” he probed, sensing something was off with her. 

One look at him and her doubts disappeared. He wanted her; she was enough. “Really, I’m fine. I’m good,” she assured him, squeezing his hand. “Come on, let’s get the table set up outside.” 

As they set up the long table and chairs in the back yard, the rest of the family began bringing out the feast. Once they were all seated and said grace, everyone dug in. Mulder sat next to Scully with his knee pressed reassuringly against hers, and Bill sat as far away from the couple as possible. Lunch went well and the family spent the rest of the day enjoying each other’s company. Mulder fit in well with the family and was brave enough to venture away from Scully and join other conversations, but truth be told, his favorite member of the Scully family, besides Dana of course, was Matthew. He could often be found running around the yard with the two year old.

Scully was watching them play with a sense of longing when her mother approached. “I’m glad Fox could join us,” she said. 

“Me too,” Scully replied. “Thanks for including him.” 

“Well he’s practically been part of the family for a while. Even Bill is acting…okay.”

“Did you say something to him?” Scully asked. 

“Maybe just a little something about how I expect him to behave,” Maggie answered with a shrug. 

“Thank you,” Scully said, turning her attention back to where Mulder was tossing a ball to Matthew. 

Perceiving her thoughts, Maggie placed a reassuring kiss on her daughter’s temple before rejoining the group. 

Before long, it was time to head to their local park for a fireworks show. Although not nearly as impressive as the show in DC, none were willing to head into that nightmare of tourists and traffic. The family spread out picnic blankets on the ground and sat down. Once the show began, Scully inconspicuously took Mulder’s hand in hers. They were at the edge of the group and everyone else’s attention was diverted by the fireworks, all but one. 

“Scully, I think your brother is watching us,” Mulder whispered, spying Bill from the side of his eye. 

She turned and locked eyes with her brother who was indeed watching the pair. Instead of dropping Mulder’s hand, she instead leaned into his body. “Let him watch, I’m beyond caring,” she sighed, eyes once again turned to the sky. 

When the show was over, the two parties prepared to head to their separate locations. Scully tossed her keys to Bill. “You guys take my car,” she said, “Mulder will give me a ride home.” She didn’t wait for his reply, simply turned toward Mulder’s car. 

“I am?” Mulder asked as they climbed into his car.

“Yes,” she replied, “I haven’t had you to myself for two days. At least give me twenty minutes in the car with you.” 

“Hey, I’m not complaining,” Mulder said with his hands up in surrender. 

“Good,” she smiled as he pulled on to the road. 

Even though the majority of traffic was leaving the city, they still got caught in a small jam, giving them more time to talk, which they were both grateful for. 

“I have an idea,” Scully said as they neared her apartment. “Why don’t you stay the night?” 

“Because I don’t want to get shot,” Mulder replied in all seriousness. 

“Come on, Mulder,” Scully begged. “I missed you.” 

“Well I missed you too, but that’s not the reason you want me to stay. You just want to antagonize your brother.” 

“Okay, okay,” she relented. “At least I get to kick him out tomorrow morning.” 

Once they arrived back home, they sat in the car for several minutes, Scully hoping that everyone would be in bed by the time she went up. Finally, she decided enough time had passed and reached out to kiss Mulder goodbye. The kiss started soft and chaste but quickly turned became deeper, their tongues stroking each other languidly. By the time their hands began to grope at each other’s bodies, Mulder knew he had to put an end to it. 

“That’s enough, young lady,” he said, holding her shoulders and reluctantly pushing her away. “Much more of this and we’ll end up going at in the car, in a well lit parking lot.” 

“And?” Scully asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Mulder’s mouth dropped as another part of his body stood to attention. “And now you really need to go,” he said. 

“You’re no fun,” Scully said before kissing him one last time. “See you tomorrow,” she winked as she exited the car and crossed the street. She waved to him at the door, knowing that he wouldn’t leave until he saw her safely inside. 

Once she entered the apartment, she was disappointed to see the solitary figure sitting on her couch. “Everyone in bed?” she asked Bill as she hung her purse by the door. 

“Yep,” he answered.

“And you’re waiting up for me?” she asked. She let out a sarcastic laugh when he nodded. “I feel like I’m a teenager again. All those nights when Dad was gone and you thought it was your responsibility to make sure I was home by curfew. Just like the good old days.”

“Dana, we need to talk,” he said.

She rolled her eyes but still sat down in the armchair across from him. If this was going to happen, it might as well be now. 

“So you and him are together, right?” he asked after a moment of silence. 

“You know, that’s really not your business,” she answered. 

Bill shook his head and smiled grimly. “You know Mom told me to behave myself around him. Like I’m a child. And she told me that he’s been coming around and helping her with the yard work. He really has her wrapped around his little finger too, doesn’t he?” 

“He spends his day off helping our Mother with the housework that’s become too strenuous for her. How dare he?” Scully said in mock offense. 

“Stop it, Dana,” Bill said in a raised voice before listening to make sure he hadn’t woken the baby in the other room. “Why can’t you see that I want to help you? That I’m trying to keep you from ruining your life?”

“Well by your standards, I think I pretty much ruined my life years ago. I guess it’s time to give up on me,” she said. 

“Damn it, how can you so easily throw away everything your family wanted for you, and for him?” Bill said angrily. 

“First of all,” Scully started, “I made decisions about my career long before I even met him, so you can’t blame him for that. And don’t you dare talk about the family; you’re the only one who can’t accept it. And I know that you’re determined to hate him and think that he’s not good enough for me, but I love him.” 

She stopped and took a deep breath. This was happening. “And he loves me and he’s not going anywhere. And if you were really concerned about my well being, you wouldn’t want him to go anywhere. He is so good to me. He respects me more than any man I’ve ever dated. He has what normal people would consider a respectable job. He is more than financially secure. He doesn’t go throwing money around, but he’s pretty loaded. He’s loyal to a fault and is willing to put up with all my shit. He puts my needs above his own and has many times put my life before his own. And for some reason he thinks I’m the most amazing person in the world. He would treat me like a freaking princess if I let him. And he is my best friend. How is that not good enough for me?” 

“I don’t even know you anymore,” Bill said softly. “You’re not the person you used to be.” 

“I know I’m not,” she replied, “I think that I’m better than I was. I never liked myself very much; I didn’t have a lot of respect for myself. But I like what I’ve become. Maybe if you were around more often, or even called from time to time, you would learn to like me too.”

“I guess there’s nothing left to say,” he said, rising from the couch. 

“I guess not,” Scully replied. “Just know that Mulder will be around from now on. You don’t have to be his friend but I will not tolerate you being his enemy. And I trust that you will keep this conversation between us. It’s important for our work and our safety that our relationship isn’t public knowledge. At least not at this time.” 

Bill nodded silently and retreated to the guest room. Scully locked herself into her own room and laid down on the bed, silent tears falling. She was sad that she was forced to choose between her brother and Mulder, but truthfully, the choice had been made years ago. She could only pray that he would come around one day, but for now she was at peace with her choice. 

They didn’t speak to each other the next day on the drive to the airport and parted with only a simple goodbye. Scully was still a little blue when she went into work, but one look at Mulder’s smiling face swept all her sadness away. Forgetting the rules they had made for themselves about their behavior in the workplace, Scully hugged him tightly. She knew that she was in the right place.


	15. Hiding Places

Fox Mulder had never considered himself a coward. He’s had cowardly moments over the years, everyone does, but he had always considered himself relatively brave, a stand up guy. However as he loitered in the corner of the FBI ballistics department, mindlessly riffling through witness statements, he knew that he was a straight up coward. 

A technician looked up at him in annoyance, “You know Agent, you don’t have to wait here. It will be a little while before I can get to you, and I’d be happy to send my report to your office.” 

“No, no, it’s fine,” Mulder answered. “I don’t mind waiting.” 

But Mulder wasn’t waiting on a ballistics report, not really; that report could easily be sent down to the basement. What Fox Mulder was doing was hiding. Hiding from a five foot ball of fire who at the moment was looking to vanquish anyone or anything in her path. He had actually seen her reduce a junior agent twice her size to tears. Seriously, he had seen the poor guy hurry to the bathroom, wiping his eyes! Truthfully, the agent deserved it for screwing up their latest investigation, but Mulder just wanted to make sure that he wasn’t next. 

Their morning had started out simply enough. As usual, by the time Mulder woke up, Scully was already showering and preparing for work. After showering and dressing himself, he found her in the kitchen, hair and makeup done but still in her bathrobe, sitting at the table and staring off into space. Her coffee was untouched. 

Mulder poured himself a cup of coffee and popped a couple of pieces of bread in the toaster. “What do you want for breakfast, Scully? Toast, cereal, oatmeal?”

“Nothing,” she replied, “I don’t feel great this morning.” 

“You sure?” he asked, concerned. It wasn’t like her to skip breakfast. She was always the one reminding him that it’s the most important meal of the day. “We can stop by the coffee shop and get one of those bagels you like.” 

“I said I’m not hungry,” she snapped. “Eat your breakfast,” she said, softening, “I’m going to get dressed.” 

Their drive to work was silent. Scully didn’t seem mad, if anything she seemed sad. Mulder racked his brain for something that happened that would’ve upset her but could come up with nothing. The past few days had been routine: go to work, go home, eat dinner, watch TV, have sex, and go to sleep. Maybe that was the problem, maybe they were becoming too routine. Maybe she wanted more spontaneity. They hadn’t had an out of town case in weeks and maybe she was bored with the little life they had put together in the past two months. 

He smiled slightly as an idea formed. He would take her on a weekend excursion and he knew just the place. He looked over to see her staring aimlessly out the window and reached over to take her hand in his. She allowed him to hold it for just a moment before she squeezed his hand and then pulled her own away. She seemed to shrink away from him, never once taking her eyes from the passing scenery. Mulder let her have her space, but couldn’t prevent the worry that crept into his brain. 

At work, any signs of sadness had been replaced with full out rage. Even Skinner was not immune to her fury when he dared to question some of her findings on their most recent investigation. He was so shocked that he didn’t even yell back at her. Mulder could only mumble his apologies as he trailed behind her like a whipped dog.

After a couple of hours in the office, Mulder trying to ignore the sounds of Scully’s angry typing, he snuck out to the nearby deli to get their lunch. He returned with her favorite salad and soup combo, along with a brownie the size of his head, one of her favorite deserts that she rarely let herself indulge in. 

“Thank you Mulder, but I don’t think I can eat anything.” Scully said when he returned. 

“Come on, Scully. Just have a little; you haven’t eaten all day.” 

“What are you, my mother? I told you that I don’t feel well,” she said in a raised voice. 

“But…” he began before she cut him off by snatching her lunch out of his hand and promptly dropping it in the trash. She turned her back to him and went to work on her computer without a word. 

Yep, she was PMS’ing big time, Mulder realized. Either that or he had accidently fallen in love with a psychopath. He ate his sandwich as quickly as humanly possible, trying to chew as silently as he could, and began to think back on the past few months. They’d been together for more than two months and this was her first period. Also, he could recall times that she’d acted like this in the past, but it wasn’t nearly on a monthly schedule. He would have to ask her about it sometime, preferably when she wouldn’t cut his head off for asking. 

After he finished his lunch, Mulder made an excuse to leave the office, but not before noticing that the brownie had not made it into the trash. He headed upstairs and that’s how he found himself in ballistics, literally hiding from the woman he loves. He figured that he could buy himself at least a couple of hours there before the techs kicked him out. After he wore out his welcome there, Mulder spent some time roaming the halls. He caught up with some old buddies and ignored the snickers from the naysayers, but he eventually had no place left to go but back to the basement. 

“Where have you been?” Scully demanded when he returned. 

“Up in ballistics, waiting for the report,” he answered weakly.

“And they couldn’t have just sent it down to us?” she asked. He just shrugged. “Well where is it?”

“Uh, they never got to me, said they’ll send it,” he said. 

Scully rolled her eyes and turned back to the computer that she’d buried herself in all day. Mulder returned to his abandoned paperwork but couldn’t help noticing that Scully looked pale. Also, instead of her perfect posture, she was slumped in her chair, and he noticed that every now and then her breathing became ragged. He thought that maybe she should go to a doctor, but he didn’t dare mention it to her. 

After some time of working in silence, Scully slammed her laptop shut. “I’m ready to go home,” she announced. 

Mulder glanced at the clock. “It’s 4:00. We only have an hour left.” 

“Mulder, I don’t feel good and I want to go home,” she said, her voice was firm but he could see that her eyes were becoming watery. “Should I get a cab?” 

“No, no,” he shook he head. “Come on, let’s go.” 

When they arrived home, Scully took a long shower while Mulder made his famous spaghetti; famous because it’s one of the few dishes he could cook. He couldn’t help but smile when she emerged from the bathroom with wet hair wearing a pair of old flannel pajama pants and his Knicks t-shirt. He had noticed that she went for that shirt either when she was very happy, often after sex, or when something was wrong. He knew that this night it was definitely the latter. 

Although she seemed to appreciate his effort, Scully only ate a couple of bites before retiring to the couch. After cleaning the kitchen, Mulder joined her in the living room and found her curled up in a tight ball on the couch, once again staring at nothing. He sat at the other end, not daring to turn on the TV which he was pretty sure would invoke her anger. 

“Scully, are you okay?” he finally asked, slightly afraid of the answer.

“I’m fine, Mulder,” she said tiredly. “I just started my period today so I don’t feel like myself.” 

Mulder sighed in relief. He had gotten a calm answer out of her and his theory had been right. “Well I guess that’s going to make a dent in our sex life,” he joked, hoping to cheer her up. 

But then she glared at him and he suddenly realized that he had made a mistake. A big mistake. His brain screamed for him to take it back. Fix it! Do something other than sitting there like a deer caught in the headlights. 

She sat up and fixed him with a stare that he was pretty sure should have killed him. “I’m so sorry that you won’t be getting what you want tonight,” she yelled. “I’m sorry that my constant pain, bleeding, and inability to decide if I need to cry or murder someone is getting in the way of you getting laid.” 

“Scully, I…” he tried to apologize. 

“Forget it!” she snapped. “I’m going to bed.” 

With that she stalked to the bedroom and slammed the door. Mulder groaned and sat with his head in his hands. He had handled that well. And now he didn’t know what to do. He wanted to go in and apologize but he didn’t know if he’d be welcome. What did she want him to do? Should he sleep on the couch tonight? Should he go back to his place? 

Finally he went to the closed door and listened. It was soft, but he could hear her crying. That made his decision for him, and after knocking softly he entered the room. The bedside lamp was still on but Scully was curled up in a fetal position under the covers, her head buried in a pillow to muffle her sobs. Mulder went to his side of the bed and propped himself up against the head board, trying to show her support by simply sitting with her. But in the end he couldn’t take the sound of her gentle cries and reached out to rub his hand up and down her arm, only to feel her stiffen under his touch. 

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do,” she said with a sniffle, “but please don’t touch me.” 

He brought his hand back, trying to not be offended and they simply sat in silence until Scully stopped crying. 

“I’m sorry that I’ve been such a bitch today,” she finally said. 

“Hey,” he responded, “I wouldn’t let anyone call you that. Don’t think for a minute that I’ll let you call yourself one. I should be the one who’s sorry for being insensitive.” 

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she said with a sigh, still not looking at him. “I’m such a cliché. A hormonal cliché.” 

“It’s not a cliché if it’s true,” he replied. “And I can tell you’re in pain. Can I get you some Advil or something?”

“No,” she replied, “I’ve already exceeded daily recommendations. And it still hasn’t touched the pain.”

“What can I do?” he asked.

“Could you bring me the heating pad?” she asked after a moment.

“Of course,” he said, and returned not only with the heating pad but with the uneaten brownie from lunch. “Just in case this cliché is true as well,” he said, hoping that he hadn’t gone too far. 

She actually smiled at his gift and broke herself off a piece as she clutched the heating pad to her stomach. 

“What else hurts?” he asked.

“My back…and my pride,” she responded. 

“Well I can’t do anything about your pride, but I could rub your back if you wish,” he said. When she nodded he began to knead her back with his knuckles until he found just the right place. She relaxed, finally getting a little relief. Scully lay in silence until Mulder thought she had fallen asleep, but she surprised him by finally turning to face him. He laid down beside her with one arm wrapped around her waist, still putting pressure on her spine. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, “for putting up with me.” 

“There’s nothing to put up with,” he responded. “You’ve had one bad day, that’s all. But I have noticed that you don’t have these days too often,” he said, trying once again to not be too insensitive. 

“Well I don’t exactly have a normal cycle,” she replied with a sigh. “Since my abduction, I don’t ovulate, so I’m not even really menstruating, it’s just withdrawal bleeding and it’s very irregular. I just feel like this time the symptoms are so much worse than they usually are. The pain and mood swings are horrible. I’m sorry, I know this is way too much information.” 

“It’s okay,” he replied with a smile, “I want to know what’s going on with you. You can handle so much more than I ever could. I probably would have checked into the ER by now.” 

Scully smiled gently before her face once again fell. “I think the worst part is that it’s just a sick reminder of what I can’t have. What I can’t give you,” she said, tears once again filling her eyes as she looked away. 

“Hey,” Mulder said, pulling her face to his, “you are all I need. Just you. Got it?” 

Scully’s tears were flowing freely now and she nodded to him. He reached out and kissed her wet cheeks. 

“Can I hold you now?” he asked. 

“That’s sweet Mulder, but no,” she replied. “I’ve finally found a comfortable position and I dare not move.” 

“Okay, okay,” he relented, continuing to rub her back but not touching her anywhere else. “Hey, I have an idea,” he said, changing the subject. “How about we get away next weekend? We could use some time away from the city that’s not work related.” 

“That sounds good,” she replied. “Where too?”

“It’s a surprise,” he said with a smile.

“Ohh, mysterious,” she said with a smile of her own. 

“Let’s get some sleep. We’ll talk about it more later.”

Scully nodded and pulled her knees up to her chest, still seeking comfort from the pain. Finally, she started to drift off, but not before one more thought occurred to her.

“Hey, Mulder?” she asked drowsily. 

“Hmm?” he responded.

“Don’t you dare try to hide from me tomorrow,” she said with a smirk. 

They both laughed softly before sleep overtook them.


	16. Conversation in a Hammock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait between chapters. The Olympics have taken over my life!

“Mulder, wake up,” Scully said, shaking his shoulder vigorously.

Mulder struggled back to consciousness. Why was it still dark outside? Why did the air smell both familiar and unfamiliar at the same time? Why were he and Scully in such a small bed? 

“Mulder, get up. This was your idea.”

Oh yeah, he had insisted that they get up at 5am so they could see the sun rise on the beach. They had driven in late the night before to his family home at Martha’s Vineyard for a weekend getaway, and they were currently in a tiny bed in his childhood bedroom. Even though he’d had the entire house renovated and redecorated, he felt a little uncomfortable sleeping in any of the other bedrooms and Scully was more than happy to squeeze into the full size bed with him. 

After his mother’s death, Mulder decided not to sell the house; just to get if fixed up so he could rent it out to summer tourists. Anyone else would have questioned why he was willing to keep, and even vacation in, a house in which so much tragedy occurred, but of course Scully understood. She kept her apartment despite everything after all. It was their small way of fighting back, of showing that they weren’t broken by their circumstances and that these places could still hold some happiness. 

But at the moment, such philosophical thoughts weren’t in his head. At this moment, all he could think of was what a horrible idea watching a sunrise was. 

“Scully, let’s just go back to sleep, just a few more hours,” he begged as he tried to pull her back down. 

“Nope, you made me set an alarm and I’m up now. We’re going,” she said, grabbing his hand to drag him into a sitting position. 

He groaned in protest as he sat up, eyes still closed and hair going in all directions. Scully turned on the bedside lamp and looked at him in adoration. He was adorable, purely and simply adorable. And she was pretty sure that he had fallen asleep while sitting up. She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly to her chest before placing a loving kiss on his temple. 

“What’s that for?” he asked groggily. 

“I just really love you,” she said, pressing her cheek against his. 

“If you really loved me, you would let me sleep,” he answered. 

She jumped out of bed. “I’m starting some coffee; if you’re not up when I get back, I’ll throw a glass of water on you.”

“You wouldn’t,” he mumbled as she walked out the door.

“Don’t test me,” she threatened as she left the room. 

It took Mulder a couple of minutes to psych himself up, but he eventually pulled himself out of the bed. He dragged himself into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee, spying Scully standing on the back porch, looking out at the back yard. He took a moment to just gaze at her, still in pajamas and nursing her own cup of coffee, no makeup and her hair slightly tousled. She was a vision against the early morning sky and he was once again overcome with gratitude that she was his. 

Mulder opened the back door and joined Scully on the porch. He came up behind her and wrapped his free arm around her chest, nuzzling his face into her hair. 

“You are looking exceptionally beautiful this morning, Dana,” he whispered into her ear. 

Scully smiled and shook her head. Gripping his arm she looked over shoulder to give him a sweet kiss. “You know what I was just thinking?” she asked.

“That we should quit our jobs and just live here?”

“Well, that, and I was thinking that those two trees are the perfect spot for a hammock. Did you ever have one out here when you were growing up?”

“No, but you’re right, that would be a good spot.” They both stared at the scenery for a few moments before Mulder reached around to give her another kiss. “Let’s go to the beach.” 

After quickly changing into shorts and light jackets, Mulder and Scully made the three block drive to the beach. They deposited their flip flops on the boardwalk and made it onto the sand just in time for the first rays of sunrise. Mulder tucked Scully under his arm and she wrapped hers around his waist as they took in the beauty of the scene, waves washing in lightly at their feet. With a happy sigh, Scully leaned into him even closer, resting her head on his chest and feeling more content than she ever had. Here they had no worries. There were no government conspiracies, no abductions, and no UFO sightings. It was just them on an empty beach. She would be happy to stay in that moment forever. 

“Hey, look what I brought,” Mulder said, producing a small disposable camera from his pocket. 

“Mulder, I don’t have any makeup on and I haven’t even brushed my hair,” Scully complained. 

“Come on, you know you’re gorgeous. Plus we’re the only ones who will ever see it and I don’t have any pictures of us,” he rationalized, pulling Scully under his arm again. “Smile,” he said, aiming the camera toward them and snapping several photos. 

They spent an hour on the beach, walking hand in hand along the shore as the sun rose in the sky. The temperature was quickly rising so they decided to return to the house for their swimsuits. 

“I can’t wait to see you in a bikini,” Mulder said as they pulled into the driveway. He only received a raised eyebrow in response. “Please tell me that you brought a bikini,” he pleaded. 

“Mulder, I don’t own a bikini,” Scully responded. 

“Scully,” he moaned. “You brought a perfectly sensible one piece, didn’t you?” 

She shrugged as he shook his head in disappointment, but that disappointment didn’t last long as Mulder decided that Scully looked decidedly sexy in her swimmer’s one piece suit. The couple spent the morning at the beach with Mulder tanning in the sun and Scully happily hiding under the umbrella. They took walks by the water and played in the ocean. By the time they went home for lunch, they were both exhausted. 

After a light meal, Scully curled up on the couch with her book while Mulder decided to go into town for some supplies. “You want me to come with you?” Scully asked from her comfortable position on the sofa. 

“Nope, you stay, read, relax,” he said with a mischievous glint in his eye. By the time he returned, Scully had fallen asleep, just as he planned. When she awoke, he had finished his work and was watching a baseball game on television. 

“I got you a surprise,” he announced with a grin. Grabbing her hand, he led her to the back yard where a luxurious hammock awaited. 

“Aww, Mulder, this is so cute!” she said as she cautiously sat in the hammock and stretched out.

“Comfy?” Mulder asked. 

“Very,” she replied, pulling a throw pillow under her head. 

“Scoot over,” Mulder said as he approached her.

“Mulder, no! You’ll flip me out!” she exclaimed, trying to push him away. 

“I’ll be careful!” he said as he climbed in beside Scully, despite her squeals of protest. The hammock swung mightily, but they both managed to stay upright. “See, isn’t this nice?” he asked as he pulled her close and she rested her head against his shoulder. 

“You just better not move,” she replied. “If I end up on the ground, you’re coming with me.” 

Mulder laughed, but nonetheless stayed still. They were both quite as they lay together, swaying gently in a peaceful silence. Scully looked up at Mulder and could see that he was pondering something serious. She kissed his shoulder and he smiled down at her.

“I can hear you thinking,” she said.

“Sorry, I’ve just had something on my mind the past few days. I think we need to talk.” 

“Are you breaking up with me?” she asked with a fake gasp. 

Mulder laughed in reply, “Only if I’ve lost my mind.” 

Scully could feel his heart beating fast under her hand that rested on his chest. “Mulder, you can tell me anything.”

“I know, Scully,” he replied. “Just hear me out before you say anything, okay? I’ve been thinking about what you said last week. You said that getting your period was just a reminder of what we can’t have. And I meant it when I said that you’re enough for me. Scully, you are all I need, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking what if we had more.” 

Scully looked up at him sadly, and he could tell she was on the verge of tears. Mulder held her closer and continued, “I know that more in-vitro isn’t an option, but what I didn’t tell you last time was how upset I was when it failed. I just didn’t want to distress you more. You know, when you first asked me to be a sperm donor, I said yes just because you asked, because I would do anything to make you happy, but as the days passed, I really started to realize that I wanted it too. I wanted a family with you.”

The tears had started to roll down Scully’s face at this point and she was once again faced with her insecurities about not being able to give him what they both wanted. 

“Don’t cry, Scully,” he whispered in her ear. “What I’m trying to say is that now I do have a family with you, and you make me so very happy. I’m just not ready to give up on having a child if you’re not.” 

“What do you mean?” she sniffled.

“I mean that there’s another option we haven’t discussed at all. And before you say it, I know that no one would let us adopt a child with both of us being in the field. But things have changed for me recently. I know that I don’t have all my answers, but I’m coming to realize that I never will. I not giving up, I just feel like I’ve come to the point that I can live with the questions that I still have. I’ll never stop looking for answers about the technology in your neck, but I don’t necessarily have to be in the X-files to do that. If you’re willing, I feel like we could leave the X-files in someone else’s hands. It doesn’t mean we’d have to leave the FBI, but we could if we wanted to. And we don’t have to make a decision today, or tomorrow, or even this year; I just want us to think about it.”

Now Scully’s tears were really flowing. He was willing to give up his life’s work for a chance for a family with her. She was overcome with more emotions than she could sort out, but most of all, she was extremely happy and felt more loved than she ever had in her life. She buried her face into his neck as she cried. 

Mulder held her tightly, a little unsure of her reaction. “So is that something that you want to think about?” 

Scully nodded her head against him and brought her tear stained face to his for a soft kiss. “I love you,” she whispered before burrowing back into his body. 

“I love you, too,” he answered, kissing her forehead. 

They both knew that there were a lot of discussions to be had in the future. A lot of things would have to be worked out and decisions made, but for the moment, Scully had hope that she hadn’t had in a long time. The realization that she might be a mother one day after all, that she and Mulder could have a child together, even if it wasn’t biological, was overwhelming. She was quite for a long time, clutching him tightly. She had never been very good putting her emotions into words, but when she was finally ready, she looked up to Mulder and told him very simply how she felt. 

“You make me very happy,” she said. 

Mulder smiled and gave her a lingering kiss. “I’m about to make you even happier.”

“Why’s that?” she asked, thinking there was no way she could possibly be happier than she was at the moment. 

“I bought us lobster rolls and a bottle of wine for dinner.” 

“Oh, you’re amazing,” she groaned in appreciation. 

“I’m glad you think that because I also need to confess something that might not make you so happy, but you will appreciate it eventually.”

“What is it?” she asked wearily.

“Well I called Skinner and took off Monday for both of us,” he said with a cringe. 

“Mulder!” she exclaimed. “So now we’re just taking vacation time together? It’s bad enough that we don’t even bother driving to work separately anymore. Skinner is going to know.” 

“Of course he knows, Scully. We don’t have to worry about Skinner. He’ll keep our secret as long as we don’t flaunt it, but maybe before too long, we won’t have to keep it a secret anymore,” he said. “Come on, let’s get some dinner.” 

After threats from both sides, they carefully made their way out of the hammock and walked hand in hand back to the house. Once there, Mulder presented Scully with yet another surprise. 

“Really?” she asked, holding up the emerald green bikini, her eyebrow arched nearly to her hair line. 

He grinned. “How did I do?” he asked. 

She looked again at the swimsuit, surprised that it was actually pretty decent. Not nearly as skimpy as she would have anticipated and no crazy prints. She checked the size and it was exactly right. “Okay, you actually did pretty good,” she conceded. “You even got the correct size.” 

“I’m just that good,” he said. “I by no means snooped around in your underwear drawer, ever,” he added. 

Scully shook her head and dropped the bikini on the couch. “You’re going to look so hot,” Mulder said as he followed her into the kitchen. 

After a nice dinner and a little too much wine, Scully convinced Mulder to pull out the few photo albums that were still stored in the basement, and they spent much of the evening laughing at baby, child, and adolescent Fox. 

“You were pretty cute as a teenager,” Scully said, looking closer at a picture of 16 year old Mulder. 

“Yeah? Would you have gone after me in high school?” he asked. 

“Oh no,” she replied. “You were too straight laced. I liked the bad boys. The problem was, the bad boys didn’t like nerdy little Dana,” she said with a giggle, taking another gulp of her wine. 

“I would’ve liked her,” Mulder said, taking her glass and finishing it off, earning himself a huff from her direction.

“So, when you were a dashing young thing, did you ever take a girl up to your room?” she asked, pointing to the floor above them. 

“Once or twice,” he replied. 

“Did you get very far?” Scully asked with a grin. 

“What do you think?” he replied sarcastically. 

Scully giggled. She was definitely feeling rather tipsy. “I guess that means that you’ve never had a blow job in your childhood bedroom,” she said with a wicked smile. 

Mulder’s mouth dropped. Scully was not one for dirty talk, but he, and this included all parts of him, rather liked it. “I can’t say that I have,” he got out. 

“We’ll just have to fix that,” she said, her tongue moistening her lips. She grabbed his hand and began to pull him toward the stairs. 

He followed behind eagerly. “Scully, have I ever told you that you’re my favorite person?”

She began to ascend the steps. “Believe me, I know.”


	17. Movie Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the wait between chapters. Life and work have been crazy but I'll try to do better!
> 
> This chapter takes place during and after the event of "Je Souhaite." I'm ignoring that "Fight Club" ever happened because I just can't with that episode. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!!

Mulder collapsed onto his old reliable leather couch with a sigh. The events of the past few days were catching up to him, and a variety of thoughts ran through his head, but for some inexplicable reason, the one that stuck was about the state of his apartment. How could the place be so messy when he didn’t even live here anymore? 

With a grunt he pushed himself to standing and began to gather the random objects strewn around the room. As he collected dirty clothes and tossed them into a laundry basket his phone rang.

“Hello,” he answered, already knowing who was calling. 

“Mulder, it’s me,” Scully said, as if there were any question. “Where are you?”

“I’m at my place,” he said.

“Oh,” she answered with a hint of surprise. 

“Come on over,” he said quickly, abating her worries. “I rented a movie.” 

“Okay,” she replied, “I’ll bring some beer.” 

“You know what I like,” Mulder said with a smile. 

As he waited her arrival, Mulder attempted to make the apartment Scully-worthy, but soon found himself fighting a losing battle and promptly gave up. He instead made sure that there were clean towels and toilet paper in the bathroom before once again collapsing on the couch, trying to not let any heavy thoughts invade his mind. Luckily, he soon heard a key turn in the door knob. 

“Hey,” Scully greeted him, surprised that he met her at the door with a hug. Her arms were full, so she just rested her head on his chest, letting him hold her tightly. She smiled at him when he finally pulled away and relieved her of the grocery bags. “What was that for?” she asked. 

“Just feeling a little down after everything and you always make me feel better,” he said, placing a quick peck on her lips. 

She grinned and followed him into the kitchen where she could only sigh at the state of it. She began loading dirty dishes into his dishwasher as he readied the popcorn. 

“Aren’t you going to ask me how pissed I am at you?” Scully asked, giving Mulder a side eyed glance. 

“About what?” he asked with wide eyes.

“How about the woman that was attached to your hip all day? Sitting by her on the plane. Bringing her back here. In our office. Should I go on?” 

Mulder sighed in relief, “Oh Scully, you weren’t pissed, you were jealous.” 

“I was not jealous, Mulder,” Scully argued. “Jealously would require me to think that something might actually happen between the two of you, which I did not. I am not a jealous person.” 

Mulder could only laugh at that, but the glare she fixed him with told him that maybe that hadn’t been such a good idea. 

“What?” she asked indignantly. 

“Scully, you have always gotten jealous if another woman gets close to me. That started way before we were together. Like way, way before,” he answered. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Scully replied with a look that dared him to argue with her. “And I would appreciate it if you apologize.” 

“For what? She had to stay with me! I was her…master,” he got out, realizing how bad that sounded. The microwave timer went off and Mulder thought it was best to just end this conversation. 

Scully crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow, waiting to see how he was going to try to get himself out of this one. 

Mulder went to her and placed his hands on her arms. “I’m sorry,” he said before giving her a peck on the nose. He pulled back and winced slightly, waiting for her response. 

Scully only rolled her eyes and patted his cheek sharply. “Don’t let it happen again,” she said, crossing into the living room and he followed with the popcorn and beer. 

**************************

“Fairly happy, huh?” Mulder asked as the previews continued to run on the television screen. 

“Oh stop your sulking,” Scully said as she took another sip of her beer. “You know perfectly well that you make me happy.”

“I’m not sulking,” Mulder said, sticking out his bottom lip in a way that made Scully want to sink her teeth into it.

“Baby, you’re sulking,” she replied with her rarely used term of endearment, knowing that it would cheer him up. 

He couldn’t stop the grin that began to emerge. “How happy do I make you?”

“Extremely,” she said, reaching over to capture that tantalizing bottom lip.

Mulder kissed her back for only a moment before her heard the opening sounds of Caddyshack. “Scully,” he said, pushing her back softly, “the movie is on.” 

“Yay,” she said sarcastically as she reached for the bowl of popcorn. 

Ten minutes later, Mulder was laughing hysterically and Scully just wanted out of there. It was defiantly not her preferred cinematic experience and she couldn’t take the stupid humor. She didn’t want to watch the movie, but she did want to be with Mulder. A wicked smile appeared on her face as she realized just what to do. He couldn’t resist if he tried. 

Scully turned to Mulder and simply admired his smiling face for a moment before wrapping her arm around his neck, pulling herself closer to him. She tucked her feet under her with her knees on his lap and began to place soft kisses along his neck. He hummed in response and ran his hand up and down her thigh, eyes still on the screen. He jumped a little when her tongue began running up and down his jaw line. 

“Scully, let’s watch the movie first,” he said, trying to ignore her ministrations. He knew what she was doing. Scully liked getting her way and this was her way of doing it tonight. Not that he was complaining, he would never complain about her doing that, but his own stubbornness could rival hers and he was determined to win this one. That was until her tongue made its way to his ear and her hand slid under his shirt. He didn’t have a chance. 

“Come on, Scully,” he said, making very little effort in pushing her away. 

“Watch your movie,” she whispered into his ear in her sexy voice. “I’m just keeping myself occupied. 

And occupy herself she did, continuing to assault his neck with her mouth and running her fingernails lightly down his chest. When Mulder continued to keep his hands to himself, Scully took the initiative and climbed into his lap, straddling his body. He groaned as she settled herself on his traitorous erection and began grinding slowly as she scrapped her teeth along his neck. 

Mulder’s hands were still at his side and his eyes still on the screen over her shoulder, but he couldn’t concentrate on the film, not with the slow torture Scully was afflicting on him. 

“Hey, let’s just watch the movie and afterwards we can do whatever you want,” he got out in a strangled voice, a last ditch effort to win her little game. 

Scully stopped moving and looked him squarely in the eye with a gaze that could have melted ice. “Or,” she said, “we can turn the movie off and do whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want?” he asked, his mouth dry and his body harder than he thought possible. 

In response he got a sexy smile and slight nod. 

Mulder immediately turned off the TV and pulled Scully’s lips to his roughly. She let out a startled squeal before returning his intense kiss, their tongues quickly finding one another as her previously slow grind picked up the pace. 

Mulder ran his fingers through her hair in delight. Very few things made him happier than messing up Dana Scully’s perfect hair. Once he was happy with the dishevelment of her hairstyle, he began his assault on her neck, sucking and biting softly. 

“Get this off,” Mulder growled, tearing her white shirt off her body. Her bra quickly followed and was soon replaced by his hands and mouth devouring her breasts. 

“God,” Scully moaned as his tongue rolled her nipple in his mouth and he bit down softly. Suddenly Mulder stopped, a thought occurring to him. 

“What?” Scully asked, pushing in hair out of her face, desperate for him to continue.

“I know one thing I want. I want you to be loud,” he said, he eyes darker than usual. 

“Mulder, I’m never exactly quiet,” Scully answered through heaving breaths. 

“I want the neighbors to hear you, I want to hear everything you’re thinking,” he said. 

She pondered his request for a moment before rubbing her center even harder against the bulge straining through his jeans. “I think I can handle that,” she breathed into his ear. 

Mulder groaned loudly with relief and desire when Scully reached down and opened his tight jeans. Before she could reach in though, he grabbed her wrist. “I thought I was running this show tonight,” he said in a husky voice. 

“Well I already agreed to be loud, what else do you want?” she asked, grinding down roughly on him in retaliation. 

Mulder moaned and lifted her to her feet. “Undress for me,” he said. She raised her eyebrow. “You don’t have to do a strip tease, I just want to watch.”

Scully’s cheeks turned pink in embarrassment as she slowly unbuttoned her pants, but she was soon flushed for a whole different reason when Mulder began to stroke himself as he watched. She was already half naked, so she shimmied out of her pants as sexily as she could manage before dropping her panties to the floor and stepping out of them. 

“Put the heels back on,” he ordered, and though surprised, Scully complied. 

He motioned her over but prevented her from crawling back into his lap. Instead Mulder scooted closer to where she stood in front of him and pulled her knee over his shoulder. He was at the perfect angle and began to run his lips along the inner thigh of her raised leg. Scully moaned as he repeated the trail with his tongue. She pulled his hair lightly, urging him on, and he responded by digging his fingers into her ass. 

“Come on, Mulder. Do it,” Scully whimpered, remembering her promise to tell him what she was thinking. 

He complied and let his tongue dart out to softly trace her center. Scully groaned loudly, clutching his head tighter as his tongue explored her folds, each trip ending with a flick to her clit. He was being maddeningly gentle with his touch and it only turned her on more. 

“Harder,” she gritted out, pushing herself closer to his face. She didn’t hold back on her moaning as he picked up the pace, alternating rubbing and sucking her clit. Scully clutched his head harder in her hands having nothing else to hold onto and she felt the beginnings of the orgasm. Her breaths were coming quickly and her moans escalated to loud repeating of Mulder’s name. She was so close and she knew it was going to be a big one when Mulder suddenly stopped. He pulled back and dropped her leg to the floor. 

“What the hell, Mulder?” she asked through gasping breaths, knowing that just one more sweep of his tongue would have had her there. 

“Bedroom,” he answered. 

“Oh, I hate you,” she said as grabbed his hand and pulled him after her into his bedroom. “Why are you still wearing clothes?” she asked as she pulled at his black t-shirt that he admittedly looked rather sexy in. 

Mulder pulled the shirt off as Scully kneeled to tug his pants and boxers down his legs. He stepped out of the bundle of clothes, but Scully stayed on her knees as she took him in her hand. Her intentions were clear and it took every all of Mulder’s will power to pull her too her feet. He kissed her deeply, holding her so tightly that he lifted her off her feet. 

“Not what I have in mind for today, Baby,” he whispered through heated kisses, “but I’ll take a rain check.” 

“I bet you will,” Scully said, lowering her mouth to run her tongue all over his chest. “So what do you have in mind?” 

“Something new for us,” he replied and gently shoved her onto the bed. 

He ran his hands down each leg and removed her shoes before he climbed on top of her and began to cover her body with kisses, paying special attention to her breasts but stopping before reaching her center. Scully encouraged him with her moans, making herself shed any inhibitions she might have. When he finally reached her lips again, he kissed her deeply, thrusting his tongue in and out of her mouth. When his lips began to assault her ear, she arched up against him, desperate for some friction. 

“Roll over,” Mulder whispered roughly in her ear. “Hands and knees.” 

Scully gasped. This was a new position for them and the thought sent a shiver down her body. She turned her back to him and propped herself up as he asked. Mulder kneeled behind her, running his hands up and down her back and butt before reaching out to turn her face toward him.

“Is this okay?” he asked. “I’m not objectifying or disrespecting you, am I?”

“Mulder, you would never do either of those things to me. It’s good,” she answered. 

He sighed in relief and draped himself along her back, peppering her neck with kisses while he reached around to roll and pinch her nipples. Scully moaned loudly and pushed back against him eagerly. Mulder answered with a moan of his own and dropped his hand to run his fingers through her folds, excited to find her even wetter than before. 

“Oh God, Mulder,” Scully whimpered as his fingers brushed her clit. “I need you, I need you,” she chanted, pushing desperately back against his erection. He happily complied and guided himself into her opening, both of them groaning once he was buried deep inside her. 

“Scully…you drive me crazy,” he panted, biting her shoulder softly as he thrust deeply. “God, I love you,” he groaned.

Scully rammed back into him, meeting his every thrust until her arms could no longer hold her up and she collapsed to her elbows. “Oh God, oh God…Mulder…right there…yes, yes…don’t stop, right there,” she panted as he lifted himself to his knees and grasped her hips tightly as he pounded into her. 

His hand snaked around her body to rub her clit, but the sensation was too much and she pushed it away swiftly. “I don’t need it,” she groaned, “just keep going…don’t stop.” 

“Scully,” he moaned loudly. “God, Scully…I’m so close…I can’t…”

“Don’t stop…just…ahhh,” she cried as his every thrust hit her at just the right spot and she felt her orgasm began to build and build. 

“Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod,” she repeated as her body felt ready to explode. 

“Come on, Scully,” Mulder pleaded, desperate for release. 

With one last thrust, Scully went over the edge with a drawn out cry so loud that it could be classified as a scream. The motions of her body pulled Mulder over as well as he slammed into her with a loud cry of his own. 

They collapsed on the bed, Mulder half lying across Scully’s back for a few moments before rolling off her with a groan. They laid in silence for a long time, recovering their breathing. Mulder ran his fingers up and down Scully’s sweat slickened back and kissed her cheek. 

“Hey Scully,” he whispered, “just so you know, I still respect you.” 

She giggled and rolled to her side to face him. “That was fun,” she smiled. 

“I agree,” he laughed, pulling her to him. Scully laid her head on his shoulder and sighed in contentment. 

“You want to go home or stay here tonight?” she asked as she nuzzled her face into his neck, breathing in his scent. 

“Let’s stay here, going home takes too much effort,” he mumbled into her hair. 

Scully smiled and pulled her face up to look at him. “Mulder, when is your lease up?”

“What are you insinuating?” he asked with a laugh. 

Scully smiled. “I was just wondering if you were planning to let it run out since you don’t really live here anymore. Or do you want to keep it so you have a place to get away from me?” she asked with a smirk. 

“Well, there is always that,” he replied with a grin when she smacked his shoulder. “It’s up in three months and I wasn’t planning on renewing. Now the question is, when is yours up?”

She was surprised by his question. “Um, about eight months, I think. Why?” 

“I was thinking that we’ll need a bigger place. You know, for when it’s not just the two of us anymore,” he said, holding her tighter. 

Scully smiled into his skin. They hadn’t talked about adoption again, but it was obviously on both of their minds. They seemed to have made a silent agreement to wait for a sign that their time at the X-files was over, and then they could begin the arduous process of adopting a baby. It would be months or years before any of it happened, but in the mean time, he did have a point about getting a bigger home. 

“I think you’re right,” she said, reaching up to brush her lips against his. “My apartment is much too small. I can imagine us in a…house.” 

“Mmmhmm,” Mulder agreed, nuzzling his nose in her hair. “But you know what a house means, right?” 

“Suburbs,” they said in unison. 

“Are we suburb people?” Mulder asked through Scully’s giggles. 

“Maybe we can be,” she replied. “You know, the really cool kind.” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been labeled as cool,” Mulder replied. “At least not once I started talking.” 

“You have your moments,” Scully assured him as she burrowed closer to his body, totally relaxed.

“Hey Scully, I have an idea. It’s still early, so let’s take a shower and then I’ll order us some Chinese food,” he said as she hummed her approval into his chest. “And then we can watch the rest of the movie.”

Scully sat up suddenly. “Mulder, are you kidding me?” 

“Whatever I want, right?” he asked with a smirk that she promptly wiped off with a pillow to his face. 

“I swear, what’s with you and that stupid movie?”she asked as she stalked off naked toward the bathroom and the shower. 

Mulder heard the sound of the faucets turning. “Are you coming or what?” he heard her call over the sound of the running water. He leapt out the bed and quickly joined her in the shower. 

“I don’t know how you put up with me,” he said before kissing her deeply under the warm spray of water. 

“Me either,” she laughed, pulling him down to her for another kiss.


	18. Just a Normal Weekend

Friday, 9:00pm

 

Dana Scully stared sullenly at the staircase that led to her apartment building. It was ten steps, ten steps that she traverse every day, but on this night she doubted her ability to make it up all ten steps. Luckily, salvation came in the form of FBI Special Agent Fox Mulder. 

A tired smile lit her face as she realized that he must have been watching for her at the window, and as he bound briskly down the steps toward her, she envied his energy. 

“Hey,” Mulder said with a big grin on his face. He wrapped her in a tight hug which Scully accepted gratefully. “I missed you,” he said, burying his lips into her hair. 

Scully sighed in contentment, her head resting heavily on his chest. She had been on loan the past three days to the Philadelphia Police Department, trying to help their pathology department out of a bind. It was no X-file, even Mulder couldn’t convince himself that it was, so she had gone alone. She had missed Mulder terribly, but she had also missed her own bed. Her hotel room had been used only to shower in, and the very little sleep she got was on a couch in the employee lounge. She truly felt like she had been hit by a truck. 

“Let’s get you inside,” Mulder said as he took her bag and wrapped an arm around her waist, half pulling her up the staircase. 

Once inside, Scully stared longingly at the couch. She desperately just wanted to crash on it, but she knew if she did that there would be no getting up and she needed a shower, she still smelled like the morgue. 

“I got Thai food for dinner and saved you some leftovers,” Mulder said as he started to pull containers out of the refrigerator. 

Scully felt like her stomach literally rolled over at the smell of the food. She didn’t know what was up with her appetite the past few days, but it was having none of it. None of any of it. When she forced herself to eat, it was only the blandest food she could find. 

“No thanks, Mulder. I just want to shower and go to bed. I’m dead on my feet and I really don’t think I even have the energy to eat.” 

“If you’re sure,” he said before coming over to plant a kiss on her temple. He wrinkled his nose slightly. “You stink,” Mulder said with soft laugh.

Scully smiled. “Boy, do I know it.” 

After showering, Scully happily crawled into her soft bed, burrowing into the pillows with a moan. 

“Comfortable?” Mulder asked with a smile as he came into the room and stripped down to his boxers. 

“Mmmhmm,” she muttered, reaching out for him as he slid between the covers. She buried her face into his neck as he wrapped her securely in his arms. “Love you,” she muttered sleepily into his skin, her eyes already closing. 

“I love you too, Scully,” he answered, stroking her hair. He wasn’t very tired, but he was happy to just hold her until her fell asleep. 

 

Saturday, 10:00am

 

Mulder awoke to find himself lying precariously close to the edge of the bed. There was also a knee in his back. He rolled over and was literally face to face with Scully, she was encroaching totally on his side of the bed. It always amazed him how such a little person could take up so much space in the bed. 

With a quiet laugh, he pushed her knees down, giving himself a little more space. She was so deeply asleep that she didn’t stir, and Mulder took the opportunity to just watch her. Her face looked so relaxed in sleep, so young and free of worries, and Mulder was struck again how lucky he was. She was so far out of his league, but for some reason she chose him. 

For so long he never thought a future with her was possible, she deserved so much more, but lately he could only think about their future. Their professional outlook may still be in flux, but their personal one was not. He couldn’t wait to have a family with her. They even had an appointment set up for the following week with an adoption agency to start gathering information about the process and their options. 

He was also bidding his time for the perfect opportunity to ask her to marry him. He had never considered himself the marrying type, but she changed everything for him. Not only would it look good on adoption applications, but he really wanted them to be at least engaged when they got a child. Maybe he was just old fashioned that way, but in any case, he wanted to put a ring on her finger. He actually already had one. The ring belonged beloved grandmother and although the diamond was large, it was in a setting that was much too busy for Scully’s refined taste. So all he had to do was get it reset and he was ready to ask away. As soon as he could find his courage that is. 

Mulder reached over and swept a piece of hair out of her face, once again overcome with love for the woman. He really had no doubt that she would say yes; he just wanted to make everything perfect for her. That’s all he wanted anymore, to make her happy. 

 

Saturday, noon

 

Scully dragged herself through her apartment in search of Mulder and a strong cup of coffee. She found him in the living room, sitting on the couch and reading the paper. 

“I can’t believe you let me sleep this late,” she said as she stumbled toward him. 

Mulder smiled and opened his arms, allowing her to crawl into his lap. She was still only wearing the t-shirt she slept in and her hair was frizzy and sticking out in multiple directions. She had never looked more beautiful. 

“You deserved it,” Mulder replied, running his hand up and down her bare thigh. 

Scully sighed and rested her head on his shoulder, surprised that she could easily take a nap right then and there even after sleeping twelve hours. 

“I have a surprise for you,” Scully said as she ran her fingers in circles over Mulder’s chest. 

“Really? Tell me more.” 

“Well,” she said, “I noticed a few weeks ago that the Knicks were going to be in town this weekend, so I might have gotten us tickets for tonight.” 

“What? Knicks tickets! Scully, you’re the best!” Mulder said, kissing her happily. “I can’t believe you’re going to a basketball game. You hate basketball!”

“Yeah, well, I like seeing you happy so I guess I’ll put up with the basketball,” she said with a grin. 

“What can I do to say thank you?” Mulder asked, running his lips up her neck. 

Scully pushed him back softly. “You can start by making me some coffee.” 

 

Saturday, 7:00pm

 

“Mulder, why all the food?” Scully asked with a laugh as he plopped two hotdogs and a box of popcorn into her lap. “I just asked for a Diet Coke!” 

“Yeah, well you haven’t eaten all day, and I did get your Diet Coke,” he said settling down with his own armful of arena food. “Eat it all and I’ll get you some cotton candy for desert.” 

Scully nudged his shoulder as she dug into her food, suddenly ravenous. They both ate all their food while watching warm-ups and Mulder procured the cotton candy just in time for tip-off. Surprisingly, Scully wasn’t too bored during the first half, but truth be told, Mulder occupied more of her attention than the game. She loved watching him enjoy himself, perched on the edge of his seat and cheering loudly. She was also being unusually touchy to be in a public place, hand on his thigh, rubbing his back, playing with the hair on the back of his neck, and even pulling him in for an occasional kiss. 

When Mulder finally relaxed and sat back once half time began, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and squeezed her tightly. “What’s going on with you? For us, this level of PDA is basically public indecency.” 

Scully laughed huskily and leaned into his embrace. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just finding you irresistible.” 

Mulder kissed her on the temple and said, “Hey, will you give me that camera I put in your purse. I want to take a few shots.”

“Sure,” she replied, locating the disposal camera that he had bought for their trip to the Vineyard. She expected him to take some shots of the game that had resumed, but instead he turned it on them. 

“Smile big,” he said, holding the camera at arm’s length. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she grasped his thigh. Their foreheads touched and he took several shots before the camera ran out of film. 

During the next break in play, Mulder disappeared to the bathroom, but returned with a bag that he presented to Scully. 

“Wow,” she said emotionlessly as she pulled out her very own Knicks jersey. 

“I had to get you a child’s size,” he said with glee. “The adult sizes would have swallowed you whole.” 

“I’ll have so many opportunities to wear this,” she said sarcastically. 

“Scully, I see many Knicks games in our future,” he said, motioning for her to put it on. 

With a sigh she pulled the jersey on over her long sleeve shirt. It fit surprisingly well. 

“I’ll turn you into a fan yet,” Mulder said happily as he put his arm back around her shoulders and focused on the last few minutes of the games. 

 

Saturday, 11:00pm

 

“We have any plans tomorrow?” Mulder asked as he dropped his keys on the side table and hung his jacket by the door. 

“I told Mom that I would go to mass with her and then lunch afterwards,” she said, lowering herself to the couch and taking off her shoes. “Why don’t you do lunch with us?” 

“Wouldn’t that seem odd?” he asked, joining her on the couch. 

“I was actually thinking that maybe it is time to tell her about us. And I want you there when I do. I mean, if we’re going to be buying a new place and, you know, adopting a child together, I think it’s about time we tell her.” 

“Whoa, Scully, you just throw this on me with no notice? I need time to prepare for such a conversation,” he said. 

“What is there to prepare for?” she asked. “It’s just my mom.” 

“Yeah, but she’ll be asking about my intentions. I have to get my intentions straight!” 

“Mulder!” she said with a laugh. “You’re ridiculous, and adorable.” 

“Just give me a week. Next Sunday, I promise, we’ll tell her.” 

“I’ll hold you to that,” she said, crawling closer to him and kissing his neck softly. 

Mulder hummed softly, enjoying her ministrations. “I like this on you,” he said, tugging at the Knicks jersey that she still wore. “I’d like it better if there weren’t anything under it.” 

“I think that could be arranged,” she said, pulling him off the couch and toward the bedroom. 

“Get comfortable,” she said, pushing him toward the bed as she headed in the direction of the bathroom. “I’ll be right back,” she said with a wink. 

Mulder eagerly stripped down and laid on the bed, waiting in anticipation. When Scully emerged from the bathroom, she was indeed wearing only the jersey. It was long enough to cover her, but just barely, and the large arm holes left nothing to the imagination. 

“What do you think?” she asked, giving him a quick twirl. 

“Yes, please,” he said beckoning her over. 

“You must like what you see,” she said, quirking an eye at his already impressive erection.

“Baby, you’ve had me turned on all night. The way you couldn’t keep your hands off me was basically torture.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her on top of him. 

“Poor thing,” said, laughing happily as she straddled his waist and began to place open mouthed kisses all over his neck and chest, stopping to tease his lips from time to time. 

“You enjoy the torture,” he got out as she continued down his body and took him in her hand and then her mouth. 

“God, Scully,” he groaned, pounding his palms on the mattress as he willed himself not to come in her mouth. 

She did not let up and he had to pull her off him before he began to buck wildly into her face. Her lips immediately found his and their kisses were deep and furious. Their tongues dueled frantically as Scully began to grind her center unrelentingly against his erection. She moaned into his mouth when his hands found their way into the arm holes of her jersey and began to stroke her breast relentlessly. 

“Let’s do this, Scully,” Mulder moaned as she continued to rub against him incessantly. “Put me out of my misery.” 

Her only response was to lightly bite his lip and rise off him slightly. She sat upright and kept her eyes on his as she slid down his length; they groaned in unison, but neither looked away. 

“You’re magnificent,” Mulder rasped as she stilled on top of him, panting heavily. 

Scully smiled before lifting herself up and sliding down on him again, once again eliciting a moan from each of them. Their pace was slow at first, but it didn’t take too long until she was riding him hard, Mulder meeting her with his thrusts. 

As sexy she was on top of him in a Knicks jersey, Mulder needed more skin. “Take this off,” he said, sitting up and pulling it over her head. Scully didn’t miss a beat, continuing her movements as he undressed her. “You’re beautiful,” he groaned, looking at her naked body in awe as if it were the first time. 

Scully was in heaven. He felt delicious, sliding in and out of her, grinding his body up into her clit, and she wanted this forever. Scully didn’t know how she survived so long without knowing him in this way. 

When he took her nipple in his mouth, biting softly, Scully almost came undone. Her orgasm kept building and building and she bounced frantically on him, begging for release. 

“Ahhh, Scully,” Mulder cried. “Oh God, you’re so tight…ah, I can’t hold on…” 

“Mulder…Oh my God,” she got out loudly, digging her fingernails into his back as her orgasm finally exploded through her in wave after wave of pleasure. She cried out again as Mulder bucked up into her one last time before coming with her name on his lips. 

They both collapsed back on the bed, utterly exhausted and satisfied. Scully laid on top of Mulder with him still inside her and her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat return to normal. “Will that ever get old?” she asked into his skin.

“God, I hope not,” he replied with a laugh. 

 

Sunday, 3:00am

 

“Scully, are you okay?” Mulder asked, tapping on the closed bathroom door. 

“Yeah, you can come in,” she replied weakly. 

Mulder entered the bathroom to find her kneeling beside the toilet. He knelt beside her and pulled her hair away from her sweaty neck. 

“I blame you for this,” she said, “you made me eat all that junk food.” 

“Hey, I didn’t force you to eat anything,” he answered as he poured her a glass of water. 

She sipped cautiously while Mulder wet a wash cloth and began to stroke it down her face and neck. “You feeling any better?” he asked. 

“I really do,” she assured him as he helped her off the floor. She grabbed his t-shirt off the floor and pulled it over her head before climbing into bed with him. “Just remind me to take it easy on the hot dogs next time.” 

 

Sunday 1:00pm

 

“Hey,” Scully greeted Mulder as she climbed out of her car and joined him on a park bench. 

“Hey yourself,” he answered, giving her a quick peck on the lips. “How was church and lunch?”

“Good,” she said. “Mom asked about you. How was your morning with the guys?”

“Always an adventure,” he said with a laugh. “They tried to get me in trouble, but I told them no, Scully would not approve of this.” 

Scully rolled her eyes. “I don’t even want to know.” 

Mulder patted her knee affectionately. “So what do you think, the five mile route?”

“Ugh,” Scully groaned. “I hate running. Why did I agree to this? Can’t we just do one mile?”

“I’ll compromise. Three miles?”

She sighed. “It’s a deal.” 

 

Sunday, 10:30pm

 

“I don’t want to go to work tomorrow,” Scully complained as they climbed into bed. “It’s been all paperwork lately. I’m so bored.” 

Mulder turned off the bedside lamp and spooned himself up behind her. “Hey you never know, maybe something exciting will come our way.”

Scully hummed in agreement as she pressed her body back into his. “This weekend was fun.”

“It was,” he agreed, holding her closer. “No UFO’s, sea creatures, or Flukemen. Just a normal weekend.”

“Let’s do it again sometime,” she said sleepily. “Goodnight Mulder. I love you.” 

“Love you, too,” he replied before drifting off with her in his arms. 

Mulder and Scully slept soundly that night. Neither knew that the following day would bring an audit of their division and a phone call from Oregon. Neither knew that their lives were about to be irrevocably changed. 

It may have been just a normal weekend together, but neither Mulder nor Scully knew that it would be their last.


	19. Back to the Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This and the following few chapters take place during the episode Requiem. Sorry...
> 
> Thank you for reading and please tell me what you think!

A shrill, taunting noise cut through the early morning silence. It was the same sound that woke Scully every morning, but on this particular morning it sounded unusually vile. If evilness had a sound, it was the sound of that alarm clock. 

With a groan, Scully shrugged Mulder’s heavy arm off her stomach and rolled toward the source of her misery. There was no way it could be morning, she had literally just fallen asleep, but she was dismayed to see the numbers 5:45 blinking incessantly at her. It was the same time she always got up; Scully considered herself a morning person. She also didn’t like being rushed in the morning. She would take her time showering and preparing for the day and then relax with a cup of coffee and bagel while she perused the paper. The one thing she never, ever did was hit the snooze button. 

Desperate to stop the noise, Scully swiftly pressed snooze and burrowed back into the pillows. Nine minutes that felt like nine seconds later, the process started all over again. This time, she reached around and flicked a switch on the clock. 

“Just five more minutes,” she mumbled to herself before sleep overtook her again. The next thing she knew, her body was being shaken furiously. 

“Scully, Scully, SCULLY!”

“What?” she asked in irritation, rolling over to look at Mulder. 

“It’s 7:15!” he nearly shouted. “Did you snooze? You never snooze!” 

“Oh God, we have an 8:00 meeting,” Scully said, jumping out of bed but immediately regretting it when dizziness washed over her. She sat back down heavily on the mattress. 

“Did you turn off the alarm?” Mulder asked, rifling through the closet for a clean suit. 

“You know, you could wake up when it goes off too. Why do I have to be in charge of getting us to work on time?” she asked as she pulled her pajamas off. 

“Because you’re the responsible one! And alarms don’t wake me anymore, now my brain automatically wakes me when I hear you turn on the hair dryer,” he argued. 

“Ugh, how did you ever make it to work on time without me?” she asked as she stalked into the bathroom.

“Well, I usually didn’t,” he retorted, following her in. 

They shared a shower in a strictly professional, can’t be late to work kind of way; well almost professional, Mulder couldn’t resist a quick kiss and ass grope. After quickly changing, Mulder made their coffees as Scully tried to tame her unwashed hair, lucky that it was on her side this morning. She applied her makeup in the car while Mulder weaved in and out of the rush hour traffic as fast as he could. 

They flew into the employee parking deck, ignoring the stares of a colleague who seemed to take great notice that they arrived together, and they made it into Walter Skinner’s office only five minutes late. He was not impressed.

“Why can you two never make it to a meeting on time?” he asked in irritation.

Scully looked down in embarrassment. She hated being late anywhere, but since working, and living, with Mulder, it happened way too often. Mulder on the other hand had no such qualms and merely smirked. 

“I think it’s my superpower, Sir,” Mulder answered. 

“Agent Mulder, if you have a superpower, it’s your ability to BS your way out of any situation,” Skinner said. 

This time it was Scully’s turn to smirk at Mulder’s stunned expression. 

“Lucky for you, that superpower is just what you’ll need today. You both have meetings with the auditor, and he is none too happy with your expenses. I’ve done all I can to talk him down, but you two are really going to have to turn on the charm to get yourselves out of this one.”

“Turn on the charm?” Mulder whispered to Scully after they were dismissed from Skinner’s office. “There will be no ass kissing from me. I’ll show him how valuable we are.”

“Mulder,” Scully warned. 

“Don’t worry, Scully. We’ve been through this before. It won’t be a problem.”

*****************************

“I can’t believe that you hit him, Mulder,” Scully said as they drove to the airport.

“You keep saying that, but then you also keep smiling. And I didn’t hit him, it was more of an accidental shove…to the face.” 

Scully could only shake her head with a grin, finding it really hard to chastise him. “You’re going to get in a lot of trouble.” 

“Nah, I think he’ll be too embarrassed to tell anyone. I’m not worried,” he said, glancing at her before returning his eyes to the road. 

“That’s your problem, you’re not worried enough about these things. Remember the time you assaulted Skinner in hallway full of agents?” 

“Don’t worry,” he assured her, taking her hand in his, “I hear this Mulder guy is slightly unstable but relatively harmless.” 

She shook her head with a small smile and squeezed his hand. “Don’t miss our exit,” she said, gesturing to the next lane.

He sighed, “I’m not going to miss the exit, Scully.” 

“You have before.” 

“Have not.”

Scully couldn’t help grinning as their easy banter continued all the way to the airport. 

*******************************

Mulder’s heart swelled and broke at the same time as he watched Scully play with the baby on her lap. It hurt him beyond words that she could never conceive and give birth to a baby of her own, of their own, and it pained him to know that he was the reason for this. But he knew that he couldn’t give in to that way of thinking, it had burdened him for too long but she had long since absolved him of his sins. Since their relationship changed, he was beginning to be able to forgive himself as well. 

Pushing away the pain, he instead gave in to the joy that the sight of Scully with the child brought him. This would be them before too long. Mulder, Scully, and their child, not one of their bodies, but of their hearts. The thought made him want to kiss that four eyed auditor goodbye and high tail it out of the FBI. He never thought that he wanted a “normal” life, but his opinion on the subject had changed drastically in the previous months and now he literally wanted nothing more. 

“Mulder,” Scully’s voice pulled him out of his reverie. 

“Hmm?” he answered. He could tell by the closed mouthed smile on her face that he was caught, she knew exactly what he was thinking. 

Seeing that look on his face, Scully didn’t think that she could love him more. “You want to hold this little guy?” she asked, placing the child on his lap without waiting for an answer. 

Mulder’s eyes widened as he awkwardly balanced the infant on his lap. He didn’t dare to move a muscle, terrified that he might somehow drop the baby. 

Scully laughed at the sight of his tense body and “panic face.” Eventually he relaxed a little and even began to talk and play with the child. Okay, she was wrong, it was possible to love him more than she did sixty seconds ago. 

*********************************

Scully shivered and pulled Mulder’s hand to her lips as she settled back against his warm body. His words were troubling her and she decided to actually let him know rather than bury her feelings deep inside like they both had in years past. 

“Mulder, why are you talking like this?” she asked quietly, ordering her tear ducts to dry up. “You’re acting as though we’re not in this together. Like we don’t have a future planned out, a future together. I haven’t lost my chance at motherhood, and you know it,” she said bravely. 

“I know, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he whispered, kissing her temple and holding her closer. “Just today, with the baby, I promised myself that I would only feel joy, joy for our future, but somehow the darkness found its way in. It always does.” 

“What does it tell you,” she asked wishing her voice was stronger. She so wanted to be strong for him.

“It tells me that I’m not good enough for you. That you would be better off without me. That I’ve only brought pain into your life,” he murmured, burying his nose into her neck, inhaling her deeply as though it would be the last time. 

“You know none of those things are true,” Scully said, looking over her shoulder at him. “You are everything to me and I am so, so in love with you. You know that right?”

He nodded meekly. 

“And you know when the darkness comes for you, that you just have to come to me. I’ll kick its ass.” 

Mulder let out a soft laugh before kissing her lips softly. “What would I do without you, Scully?”

She kissed him back in response and burrowed back down into the pillows. Her conversation with Mulder had taken her mind off the chills that had racked her body, and now under the thick blankets and his solid embrace, she was beginning to feel warm again. 

They lay in silence for many moments, but both of their minds were repeating Mulder’s words. Finally, Scully spoke, “Mulder, you said there has to be an end…” 

“I know, that’s what I was thinking about too,” he confessed. 

“Our first case, there is a good bit of symmetry to it. Closure,” she said. 

“Yes, there is,” he admitted. 

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Scully asked. It was what she wanted, but she had to be sure that it was what he wanted too. She never wanted him to resent the decision they made. 

Mulder considered her words. The work didn’t hold the allure that it once did. His obsession ended with the revelation of his sister’s fate. He could live with the answers he had, and the only thing he wouldn’t stop looking for is what happened to Scully all those years ago. Professionally, he knew that he was ready to move on. 

“I’m okay with this, Scully,” he answered, squeezing her tighter. 

Scully fought back tears as she asked, “Mulder, is this our last X-file?”

He let out the breath that he didn’t realize he was holding. “Yes. Yes, it is.”


	20. Simple Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait between chapters! As always, thanks for reading and let me know what you think. 
> 
> Please check out my new Tumblr! https://www.tumblr.com/blog/scullys-right-eyebrow-txf

Mulder felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He had fought for so long to be assigned to the X-files, and once it finally happened, it consumed his life. So much so that he almost missed out on the biggest truth of all. The one that had been right in front of his face for six years. Scully was the only truth that he needed. She was the answer to his every question. When they first met, the mysteries in his life were the only thing that mattered to him, but now it was her, she was all that mattered. He had spent most of his life obsessed with the past, but now, for the first time, he had a future. 

He wrapped his arms more tightly around her and kissed her cheek again. “How are you feeling?”

She turned her face to his. “Better. Relieved. Excited. Tired, like really tired. Exhausted,” she responded. 

“Why don’t you stay here tonight?” he asked.

“Okay,” she sighed sleepily. 

The fact that she didn’t even attempt to protest proved how truly exhausted she was. 

“I just have to get out of these clothes, they’re too uncomfortable.” 

Mulder pulled the covers back and helped her remove her clothing until she was only left in her panties. Scully burrowed back under the covers, waiting for Mulder to join her, but he never did. 

“Mulder, come to bed,” she said drowsily. 

“I think I have a shirt you can wear,” he said, starting toward his suitcase. 

“No, no, I’m good. Just take your clothes off and let’s go to bed.” 

Mulder sighed and began to remove his jeans. “Sure, I’ll come to bed with you Scully. You’re just practically naked, no big deal.” He crawled into the bed as she chuckled softly. “You enjoy torturing me way too much.” 

Scully rolled toward him, placing her head on his shoulder and pressing her breasts against his chest. Mulder was suddenly very glad that he had left his t-shirt on, even though it couldn’t prevent a slow stirring of his arousal. 

“Oh calm down,” Scully murmured, “you may get lucky tomorrow if you can be a good boy tonight.” 

“I’ll get myself under control. You just rest,” Mulder replied, softly stroking her hair until she drifted off. 

When Scully woke the next morning, it was to the feeling of Mulder’s strong arms wrapped around her as he spooned her from behind, one hand firmly grasping her bare breast. She laughed softly, burying her face in her pillow. 

“What’s so funny?” Mulder asked groggily in her ear. 

“You, you’re such a boob man,” she answered with a low giggle. 

Mulder realized what his hand was holding and gave her breast a reassuring squeeze. “I’ve never heard you complain about it. In fact, I’ve only heard your very strong agreements to my affinity for your breasts.” 

Scully rolled over so she was face to face with him. “Strong agreements?” she asked.

“Very, very strong agreements,” he replied. 

“Mmmm,” she hummed as she reached out to kiss his lips lightly. 

“Are you feeling better?” Mulder asked.

“I feel great. Like really, really great,” Scully murmured, once against teasing his lips with her own. She didn’t know how it was possible to go from feeling like she got hit by a truck to feeling extremely aroused in just a matter of hours, but she had. It was never a word that she had used aloud, and Mulder would never let her live it down if she did, but she was feeling horny. Done with the light kisses, Scully rolled on top of Mulder and kissed him deeply, letting her tongue play with his in his mouth. 

Mulder groaned and ran his hands up and down her bare back, letting her control the kisses. He realized that she was in quite the mood when she began to grind her hips against his as she shoved her tongue further down his throat. 

“I thought you had rules about this kind of thing,” he got out between kisses. 

“Screw my rules,” she panted. “It’s our last case. And besides, I want you.” 

Her words and the desire in her eyes sent all the blood in his body directly to his groin and he growled as he swiftly rolled them over and pressed her body down into the mattress with his own. He forced his tongue into her mouth, and fighting for control, he grasped her wrists in his hands and held them above her head as his mouth continued its assault. 

He continued to restrain her hands as his lips traveled down her neck and collarbone, sucking, nipping, and licking her soft skin. He only stopped when her hands fought against his hold.

“Scully,” he warned.

“Take that off,” she breathed, motioning to his shirt. “I want to touch you.” 

“There will be time for that later. Right now, as long as you keep your hands up here, I’ll be the one doing the touching,” he said in a low voice. 

Scully whimpered at his sexy voice, her panties growing wetter by the minute. 

“Okay?” he asked.

She only nodded in response. 

“What was that?”

“Yes, fine, just touch me!” she said, needing to feel his hands and mouth on her body like she needed air. 

Mulder let go of her hands and when she didn’t move them, he continued his path down her body. With his hands now free, he palmed her breasts in his hands, squeezing them as his tongue traced her sternum. His fingers moved to her nipples, starting with barely there brushes that had her arching up to him in need. Scully’s center was throbbing and she felt like she would quite literally die if he didn’t touch her nipples soon. She wanted to pull his head down to her breast, but playing by his rules, she only thrust her chest in his direction. 

“You sure that you don’t have a problem with me being a boob man,” Mulder asked, his mouth so close to her breast that her nipples tightened even more at the feeling of his breath. 

“No problem at all,” she said, squirming beneath him. Her body was humming and she needed him to do something other than just tease her. 

“If you’re sure,” Mulder said, reaching his tongue out to swirl it around her left nipple. Scully’s body nearly left the bed at the contact of his tongue and she couldn’t resist grasping his hair. Mulder pulled back and only looked at her with his dark, lust filled eyes. With a shaky breath, Scully returned her hands to their position and was rewarded with Mulder’s mouth clamping around her nipple. 

“Oh my god,” Scully moaned as he sucked and nibbled on one while his deft fingers played with the other. He switched sides and she almost cried with need as she wrapped her legs tightly around his torso, desperate for some kind of friction. 

“Oh, shit, Mulder, more, I need more,” she begged, feeling like she was going to come apart. 

“What do you need, Scully?” Mulder asked, running his tongue in a line to her belly button. 

She couldn’t stay still below him. She was desperate for his touch. “Go down on me, please.” 

Mulder groaned and felt himself harden even more. She wasn’t one to usually say exactly what she wants, but it definitely turned him on that she was now. He untangled her legs from his body and placed a pillow under her ass, lifting her up to him. Scully was breathing frantically now. He had never seen her like this, this turned on, this needy for him.

He pulled down her soaked panties and opened her legs to him. Scully whimpered and clutched her pillow as his fingertips traced first one of her inner thighs and then the other. He lay on his stomach, pumping his hips into the mattress, seeking some relief of his own before finally reaching out to run his tongue up her folds. 

Scully couldn’t contain the small scream that emitted from the back of her throat as his strokes became bolder. He plunged his tongue into her opening before licking up to circle and suck her clit. He continued this motion over and over, his hands holding her knees open and her hips down to the bed as her lower body tried to buck in tandem to his ministrations. 

Scully quickly felt her body become undone. The sensations at her core traveled through her legs all the way to her toes as the waves of pleasure built without mercy, building and building until she didn’t think she could take it anymore. Finally, with one last circle on her clit, she went over the edge. 

“Oh god, MULDER!” she almost screamed, followed by a series of unintelligible cries as her body arched off the bed. He continued to lick her mercilessly as her waves of pleasure continued for many seconds. Finally, she collapsed, trembling on the bed. 

Scully lay panting and languid as Mulder softly kissed his way up her sensitive skin until he was lying at her side. She could only hum in contentment when he gently nuzzled her cheek. 

“Damn, Mulder, you’re good,” she sighed, eyes still closed in bliss. 

“Mmmm, your praise is always welcome,” he murmured against her neck as he pressed his erection against her hip. “I’m expecting even more accolades as soon as you feel up to round two.” 

“Oh, I’m feeling up to it,” she replied, turning her head to meet his lips in a kiss that started lazy and quickly became passionate. 

Mulder rolled to his back, pulling Scully on top of him and grasped her hips tightly in his hands, grinding her body down onto his. She groaned in response, continuing to rub her dripping core against his boxer clad erection as she focused her attention on his neck. After a few long moments of gently sucking and nipping at his neck, she scooted back onto his thighs and grabbed his hands to pull him into a sitting position. They both quickly pulled his shirt over his head and Scully rolled off him to lay at his side. Mulder quickly shed his boxers and took her hand as she beckoned him to her. He pressed her body into the mattress with his own and kissed her thoroughly as his hands ran over every inch of skin that he could reach. Soon Scully was arching up against him in need. 

“You want on top?” he asked through heavy breaths, citing her preferred position. 

“No, I want you here,” she said, clutching him tighter to her. She had quickly gone from flat out horny to a desperate need for complete intimacy. She needed him in her, surrounding her, and completely consuming her. “Oh Mulder, I need you,” she gasped as he slid into her tight body. 

“Scully,” he groaned, kissing her deeply as he began to slowly and deeply thrust into her welcoming body. 

She whimpered and wrapped her legs tightly around his back, her hands clutching his shoulders while he peppered open mouthed kisses down her neck and chest. After many minutes of this intense, yet unhurried pace, Mulder began to slowly increase the speed and force of his thrusts. Scully moaned her approval, closing her eyes and throwing her head back as she began to feel her orgasm approach. 

“Look at me, I want to see you,” Mulder panted, intertwining his fingers with hers as he began to pump almost furiously into her. 

Scully locked eyes with his and saw such love and devotion there that it was almost overwhelming. This time when she came, there were no lust-filled screams or cries; this time there was only a long stream of adoration for him. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” she chanted, her orgasm rushing over her in waves. 

“Oh, Scully, Scully, Scully,” Mulder groaned, thrusting into her three more times before he followed her over the edge. 

Mulder collapsed on top of her and Scully welcomed his weight covering her body. “I love you,” she murmured, holding him tightly to her. 

“Love you too, Scully,” Mulder whispered, finally rolling off her with a groan. He pulled her to him and relished the feel of her in his arms. “I think we need more morning sex in our lives,” he grinned, stroking her hair back from her face softly. 

Scully laughed and sat up beside him. “You may be right,” she said, pulling her aching body out of the bed and gathering her clothes off the floor. 

“Where are you going?” he moaned as her watched her pull on yesterday’s clothing. 

“Back to my room to shower and get ready for work.”

“Let’s just blow it off, Scully,” Mulder argued. “I want to just stay in bed with you all day.” 

Scully smirked. “Just be ready to meet me in thirty minutes,” she said, hurrying out the door. 

She barely made it back to her room before the vomiting began. After several ugly minutes of getting sick, Scully collapsed onto the bathroom floor, a sheen of sweat covering her body and all of her strength gone. After recovering for a few moments, she pulled herself into the shower and turned the water to cold, enjoying the cool stream on her overheated body. She didn’t know what was wrong with her, but she wasn’t about to tell Mulder about this morning’s incident. Although she felt guilty about keeping him in the dark, she knew that he would try to send her home. This was their last case, and they would finish it together. Then they would go home and she would get checked out by a doctor. 

She was moving slower than usual, afraid of another dizzy spell, as she dressed and dried her hair, and it wasn’t long before Mulder was knocking on her door. 

“Hey Scully, Billy called and he needs us right away,” Mulder said through the closed door.

“Okay, I’ll be there in a minute,” Scully answered, giving herself one last glance in the mirror before joining Mulder in the car. 

She knew that if they could just make it through this case, everything would be better. She would find out why she’d been so sick, and she and Mulder would turn in their resignation from the X-files. All they had to do was wrap up this case and they could get on with the rest of their lives. 

Simple, right?


	21. Goodbyes, or Lack Thereof

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during the events of Requiem, specifically after Mulder tells Scully that's he's going back to Oregon without her. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think. 
> 
> You can also check me out on Tumblr: www.tumblr.com/blog/scullys-right-eyebrow-txf

Scully lay curled up on Mulder’s bed, eyes closed and trying to ignore the sounds of him moving about the room as he threw clothes and toiletries into his duffle bag. She wished that they had gone home because she sure could use a couple of Aspirin and his medicine cabinet was empty. Unfortunately, Mulder’s apartment was closer to both the Hoover building and the airport, so here they were. 

After one too many loud slams of the dresser drawers, Scully could no longer take it. 

“Mulder,” she hissed, sitting up and rubbing at the stress headache that had formed between her eyebrows, “what are you looking for?” 

“A pair of black jeans,” he answered. “I thought I had some here. How many pairs do I have at home?”

“How should I know? I don’t keep an inventory of your clothing,” she responded sharply. 

He eyed her warily, choosing wisely not to respond, and quickly unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it on the bed beside her. He changed into clothes more suitable for field work and zipped up his packed duffle. 

“Mulder, I don’t think you should go back to Bellefleur,” Scully said quietly from her place on the bed. 

He turned around with confusion on his face. “What?”

“I have a bad feeling about this. I don’t like you going without me, and since you won’t “let” me go along, I want you to stay.”

“Scully,” Mulder said with an astonished laugh, “you’re not serious.” 

“I am serious. I don’t have a good feeling,” she responded. 

“Feeling? Since when do you make your decisions based on a feeling rather than science or evidence?” Mulder asked, his voice rising. “I’m sorry, but have we switched places without my knowing?” 

“Mulder, I understand that I’m not being rational, but I don’t want you to go,” Scully answered defiantly despite the slight quiver in her voice. “Let Skinner and Krycek handle it.”

“Scully, I have to do this, not them, me. I have to end this before it begins again. Just one last time,” he argued. 

Scully felt a twinge in her stomach telling her that this was a bad, bad idea. She was so afraid that by the time this was all over she will have lost him one way or another. “But what if it isn’t one last time? What if you don’t end it? What if you just find yourself on a new quest?” she countered loudly. 

“Stop it,” he answered equally as loud, “I told you that I’m done and I mean it. I will finish this tonight and that’s it.”

Scully looked away from him, shaking her head. “I don’t want you to go,” she reiterated. 

“I have to go, Scully,” Mulder said firmly. 

She looked at her feet, fighting a losing battle with the tears that were now escaping down her cheeks. Mulder sighed and sat down beside her. 

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said softly.

“I’m not upset, I’m pissed,” she answered. 

“Then why are you crying?” he asked perplexed. When Dana Scully was mad she yelled or was silent, she froze him out or told him exactly what she thought, but she never, ever cried. 

“I don’t know!” she responded heatedly. “God, you make me so angry.” 

“Well you make me angry too!” he returned. “Like the fact that we’ve been back in town for two days and you still haven’t gone to the doctor!”

“I told you that I’m feeling fine. Totally fine!” 

“Well if you’re feeling “fine…,” he began, not finishing his sentence. 

They fell into an uneasy silence, and Scully pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to relieve some of the pressure. 

“I thought you’re fine,” Mulder said sarcastically.

“I am, Mulder. It’s just a stress headache. I wonder who could’ve caused it?” 

Another tense quietness followed. “I don’t want to fight,” Mulder finally said.

“And I do?” Scully responded softly with a sigh. “I’m just so tired, Mulder. I’m physically and emotionally exhausted. And I’m tired of all this,” she said, gesturing to the packed duffle bag, them, the world. “I’m just ready for us to move on with our lives. But first I want to crawl into bed and sleep for two weeks.”

“Two weeks? I was thinking more like three,” Mulder said, nudging her shoulder with his. 

“I don’t remember inviting you to my hibernation,” Scully huffed.

Mulder let a small smile escape. “Come on, I can keep you warm and toasty. I know how cold those little hands and feet get. I won’t even complain when you use me as your own personal furnace.”

“Well you are pretty handy on a cold night…” she trailed off. 

“Let’s get an early start; I don’t have to leave for the airport for fifteen minutes,” Mulder said, tugging her down onto the mattress with him. 

Scully reluctantly curled up on the bed with him, placing her head on his chest and thrusting her chilly, stocking clad feet between his calves. She was just so, so tired. 

“I still don’t want you to go,” she murmured into his t-shirt.

“I know,” Mulder answered into her hair. 

“And I’m still mad,” she continued. 

“And I know that too,” he said with a heavy sigh. 

And that was the end of that. Mulder, as usual, wouldn’t stay. Scully couldn’t help but feel like she was being ditched once again, even though she knew he was leaving her behind for her own safety. It was obvious that abductees were being taken again, and something had happened to her in the forest that she couldn’t explain, but Scully truly felt that she should be by Mulder’s side if he insisted on going out there. And he was right, her life wasn’t dictated by her feelings, but his time, her gut told her that he shouldn’t be there, not without her. She chided herself for letting her emotions control her actions, especially when the evidence suggest that Mulder was safe, that he wasn’t what they wanted. Whoever they were. She also reproached herself for doubting him when he promised that this case would be the end. He wouldn’t knowingly lie to her, but she suddenly found herself insecure, wondering if she could be enough for him. If one quest or another wouldn’t steal him away at some point. At the end of the day, she was just scared. 

The drive to airport was silent, but at least some of the tension had dissipated and Mulder held Scully’s hand tightly as he weaved in and out of the heavy DC traffic. They arrived at Dulles with a little time to spare before his flight and simply sat in the car, parked in the drop off zone and internally daring anyone to try to make them move. Finally, with a sigh, Mulder climbed out of the car. He procured his bag from the trunk and met Scully at the front of the vehicle. 

“Please be careful,” Scully begged, reaching out to clutch his free hand. 

“I will. Hopefully I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“You better be. Don’t forget that we have an appointment with the adoption agency in a few days,” she reminded him, squeezing his fingers. 

“I haven’t forgotten. I’ll be there,” he assured her. 

Mulder glanced through the terminal windows and could see Skinner waiting at the counter. 

“Boss is here; I better go,” he said. 

Scully nodded sadly and Mulder took the opportunity to pull her in for a kiss before her hand on his chest stopped his movements. 

“Skinner might see us,” she told him. 

“I don’t care,” Mulder replied, pulling her to him. 

The kiss was sweet and loving before turning briefly passionate. Mulder’s tongue swept over Scully’s for just a moment before he pulled back to rest his forehead against hers. They breathed in tandem with eyes closed for a few peaceful seconds. 

“I love you,” Scully said, still clutching at his hand as he began to walk away. 

“Love you too, G-woman,” Mulder said with a grin. 

He took one more step and they could hold on to each other no longer. The connection broke even though Scully’s arm remained outstretched, reaching for him. He was slipping through her fingers and she was helpless to stop it. She was filled with too many emotions to count: fear, sadness, anger, and love for this stupid, stupid man were among a few. Why did everything have to be so hard for them? 

With a hint of regret in his eyes, Mulder gave her one last small smile and nodded before turning his back on her and disappearing into the airport. 

And just like that, he was gone.


	22. On Our Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during the episode Requiem. 
> 
> Be sure to let me know what you think and check me out on Tumblr. 
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/scullys-right-eyebrow-txf

“I am going to kill you, Frohike,” Scully hissed, five minutes after waking up in the back of an ambulance. “I cannot believe that you called 911.” 

“What were we supposed to do?” Melvin asked from the bench beside her reclined body. “You passed out! And stayed passed out for over twenty minutes!” 

“I’m fine, and we don’t have time for this. We need to be trying to get in contact with Mulder,” she argued. 

“That’s what Langly and Byers are doing right now. They’ll call as soon as they have something,” he assured her. 

Scully sighed heavily and rubbed her temples. Her head was throbbing and she was worried. Worried about Mulder, worried about Skinner, and worried that Melvin Frohike was proving to be more protective than her partner. Even Mulder wouldn’t have called an ambulance over a simple fainting spell. Her first order of business upon arriving at the hospital would be to gently and kindly show him the door. 

Once they reached the ER, Scully was forced into a wheelchair despite her protests that she was perfectly capable of walking. Blood was taken for testing and she was found to be quite dehydrated and in need of IV fluids. In an unexpectedly short amount of time, Scully found herself settled into a private room. After a bit or arguing, she convinced Frohike to go back to the Hoover building to offer tech support, and he was given strict orders to call her as soon as he heard from Mulder. She tried calling Mulder herself, but his phone went straight to voicemail. She didn’t bother leaving a message; he rarely checked them anyway. 

Before long, a new nurse came in and began to ask all the same questions that Scully had answered in the ER. With a sigh, she began to list her symptoms. 

“Dizziness, nausea, exhaustion, chills, slight fever. I really just think I had a stomach bug,” Scully explained. 

“Any chance you could be pregnant?” the nurse asked without looking up from the form she was filling out. 

“No, I’m infertile,” Scully answered immediately. 

After a few more questions, the nurse finally looked up and smiled reassuringly. “Well that should do it, honey. We should have the results of your blood work within the hour. You just relax and the doctor will be in to see you soon.” 

Scully smiled weakly in reply. Relax, how was she supposed to relax? She instead called both Mulder and the Gunmen again, unhappy with the results of both calls. Despite her nervousness, however, her exhaustion took over and it didn’t take long for Scully to fall into a deep sleep, and she didn’t wake until she felt someone shaking her shoulder lightly. 

“Ms. Scully, hello, I’m Dr. Jenkins,” a young doctor explained as he extended his hand. 

Scully sat up and grasped his hand firmly, shaking it as she shook her own head in an attempt to ward off the effects of her nap. “Hi, I take it you have my blood work results,” she said, nodding toward the clip board in his hand. 

“Yes,” he answered, a big smile on his baby face. “I have some good news for you.” 

Scully’s brow furrowed in confusion. She was expecting antibiotics and strict orders to rest, not good news. 

“You are pregnant,” Dr. Jenkins said happily, enunciating each word. 

The sound that inexplicably came out of Scully’s mouth could only be described as a laugh. A shrill, unamused laugh.

“I am not pregnant,” Scully answered slowly, once she regained control.

“Ma’am, you are. I…”

“Did you not read my file?” she interrupted. “I can’t get pregnant. Believe me, I’ve tried. There is no possible way that I’m pregnant,” she told him firmly.

“Ms. Scully, I did read your file, but the blood work shows…”

“The blood work is wrong,” she cut in. “It must have gotten switched with someone else’s in the lab. I want new samples tested, blood and urine, and I would like you to personally make sure that the samples are properly labeled this time. I would also like a rush on the lab work. And it’s Doctor Scully.” 

“Yes, Doctor,” the young man said with big eyes, clearly understanding that he was out of his depth. “I’ll send someone right in to collect the new samples.” 

Dr. Jenkins left with his tail between his legs and Scully knew that would be the last she saw of him. She had a feeling that any other interactions would be with his attending physician. She almost felt guilty for how she treated the man, but the nervousness in her stomach over Mulder’s whereabouts and the slight breaking of her heart over receiving news that was never hers to receive, assuaged her of any guilt. 

Her nurse returned in record time to collect new blood and urine samples and it took only 30 minutes for a new doctor to appear at her door. This time it was a man obviously older than her and one glance at his name tag told her that Dr. Anderson was no general practitioner. This man was an OB/GYN. 

Scully’s heart rate accelerated as she shook the man’s hand. She had just about convinced herself that he was simply there to apologize for the mistake when he spoke. 

“Dr. Scully, I understand that you wanted the tests re-ran. I have also read your medical history and understand that you are unable to conceive and that past attempts at IVF have been unsuccessful. Despite this, we tested your blood and urine samples three times and all the results are conclusive. You are pregnant.” 

Scully covered her mouth with her hands in shock. “This…no, this can’t be right,” she whispered, more to herself than to the doctor. 

“It is,” he assured her softly, his hand on her shoulder. 

“Oh my God. But how…how can this happen?” she asked, her eyes filling with tears. 

“I don’t know. But it does happen. I’ve seen women who’ve been told they were infertile their whole life, who’ve gone to as many specialists as you have, suddenly end up pregnant when they weren’t even trying. Most of the time, there are no answers to why. Most accept it as a miracle,” Dr. Anderson answered. 

“A miracle,” Scully repeated, hearing Mulder’s words in her head. Tears ran down her face and she was close to the point of sobbing. 

“And you’re sure?” she asked, between hiccupping breaths. 

“Look for yourself,” the doctor said, giving her the chart he held. 

Scully read the information and everything was in order. She was pregnant. They were going to have a baby. A smile spread across her tear stained face as a millions thoughts ran through her mind, but the one that took precedence was Mulder. She had to tell Mulder. 

“I…um…I need to call my partner,” she said, wiping away her tears. 

“Well I’ll leave you too it. And congratulations,” the older man said.

“Thank you,” Scully replied sincerely. “And please pass my apologies to Dr. Jenkins. I think I was a bit rough on him.” 

“That man could use a dressing down from time to time. I’ll come back and check on you tonight,” Dr. Anderson answered with a smile as he left the room. 

Once alone, Scully sunk back into the pillows in shock. She was so, so confused, but she was so very happy. Mulder told her not to give up on a miracle, but truthfully, she had. She had long given up on ever being able to have a child, but here she was. Pregnant. She couldn’t wrap her head around it, and she couldn’t wait for Mulder to be with her; to help her process it all. Tears ran down her face again as she realized how truly happy he would be. 

Locating her cell phone on the bed side table, Scully quickly dialed Mulder’s number and was disappointed to be greeted once again by his voicemail. This time, however, she left a message. 

“Hey Mulder, it’s me,” she said with a watery smile. “I, uh, hope you’re actually listening to your messages for once. I really need to talk to you. Nothing is wrong, but I need you to call me back as soon as you get this. I love you.” 

Scully hung up the phone with a giddy laugh. Every fear and insecurity she’d felt in the last 24 hours had been proved unfounded by one simple blood test. She was afraid that she wouldn’t be enough for Mulder, but she now knew with certainty that she was. She always had been. And this is what they wanted.

Even her fear for Mulder had subsided in light of the news. She had no doubt that he would make it home to her, just like he promised. For so long it had felt like everyone and everything, hell even the whole universe, was against them. 

It was about time that the universe was on their side.


	23. Lies We Tell Ourselves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during the episode Requiem. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Scully could hear him before she saw him. Mulder never knew how to enter a hospital calmly. If she weren’t so indescribably happy, she would be aggravated with him, but as it was, none of his antics could ruin her good mood. 

“Dana Scully. I’m looking for Dana Scully,” she heard before he rounded the corner and finally came into view. He looked frazzled and harried and like he might not smell that good, but to Scully it was the sweetest sight she’d ever seen. 

“Scully,” Mulder breathed when he burst into her room. “I turned right around as soon as Byers told me you were in the hospital. Baby, are you okay?” he asked, sitting on the hospital bed bedside her and grabbing her hand. 

She smiled and clutched the back of his neck, pulling him in for a brief but loving kiss. “Mulder, I’m fine. God, I’m more than fine.” 

“Well what is it, Scully? They told me you passed out. I’ve been so worried,” he said in concern, squeezing her hand. 

Scully took let out a deep breath and grasped his free hand tightly. This was the moment that was going to change their lives, and she couldn’t be happier. 

“Mulder,” she said, letting out a small laugh as a single tear made its way slowly down her face, “I’m pregnant.” 

He let out a quick gasp but was then silent for many seconds, simply staring at Scully and wondering if he had heard her right. He couldn’t have heard her correctly. 

“Mulder,” Scully finally asked, “did you hear me?” 

“I…uh….Scully, I don’t…how” he stuttered, unable to put together simple phrases, much less complete sentences. 

Scully saw it immediately, his panic face. She placed her hands on his cheeks, pulling his eyes to hers and spoke reassuringly, “Mulder, I don’t know how this happened. I don’t, but it has happened. We are going to have a baby. We got that miracle after all.” 

By now, tears were running unabashedly down her face despite her smile. She pulled Mulder to her and kissed both of his cheeks and forehead. He was obviously still processing everything, so she simply laid her cheek against his, wrapping her arms around him tightly. Before long, she felt his tears on her cheeks and he was clutching her right back. 

“Oh my God, Scully. Oh my God,” he said, pulling back to look into her tear stained face. He pressed his forehead to hers, grasping her neck tightly. 

Scully laughed and kissed Mulder soundly on the lips. The panic and shock were now gone and she could feel pure joy radiating from him. When they parted, a huge smiled erupted on his face. 

“We’re going to have a baby?” Mulder asked in awe. 

“Yeah,” Scully replied with a sobbing laugh. “We are.” 

Mulder reached out and kissed her again, this time longer and deeper. His lips moved to her cheek, then jaw before pulling her into a tight hug. 

“Scully, I’m so happy. So happy,” he repeated. 

“Me too,” she replied, burying her face in his neck. “This is amazing. Just…amazing.” 

“Scully, I love you,” Mulder said, placing a kiss in her hair. 

“Love you too, so much,” she responded, snuggling closer to his warmth. “God, is this real life?” she asked with a laugh. 

Mulder pulled back and smiled at her sadly. “Scully,’ he started.

“Don’t,” she interrupted, her smile melting off her face. 

“Scully, come on, this isn’t real and you know it,” he said grimly. 

“Can’t you just let me have this? Just for a little while?” she asked, now crying for an entirely different reason. 

“You deal in absolutes, in reality, not in fantasy,” he said, his eyes reflecting her own heartbreak. “I’m sorry, Scully.”

“I’m sorry, Scully,” Frohike’s voice broke through her carefully constructed fantasy. “I’m so sorry.” 

She buried her face in her hands, willing herself not to cry. Not yet, not with an audience. 

“Scully?” Frohike asked. He wasn’t good in emotional situations and didn’t know if he should comfort her or get the hell out of there.

“I heard you, Melvin,” she whispered, finally dropping her hands and taking a deep breath. “Where’s Skinner?”

“He’s finishing up at the scene,” he answered. “Should be back tomorrow and I have the boys waiting to mobilize. What do you want us to do?”

How should she know? This was Mulder’s specialty, not hers. “Just…just do whatever Mulder would do. Just find him,” she said softly. 

Frohike nodded. “What about you Scully? What’s wrong?”

“I’m fine,” she choked out. “It was just dehydration caused by a stomach bug. They’re loading me up with fluids tonight and I can go home tomorrow.” 

She felt a little guilty about lying to him, but now wasn’t the time. They would find Mulder and she’d tell him. Then they could spread their good news. 

“You just get to work; I’ll be fine here,” she assured him. 

“Okay, Scully. You call us if you need anything, and we’ll call you if we find anything.” 

She nodded and watched him go. Only when he was out of sight did she let the first tear slip down her cheek. Then a second. And a third. Scully burrowed down into the bed and wept, the pillow drowning out the sounds of her anguished sobs. 

She needed to be strong, but at this moment she couldn’t be strong. This must be how Mulder felt when she disappeared without a trace: scared, angry, lonely, suffering. Like half of her was gone. She was sick to her stomach but didn’t know if it was due to the pregnancy or her worries. How could he be gone now? What had they ever done to deserve this? 

Knowing that there was nothing she could do from her hospital room, Scully eventually cried herself to sleep. Tomorrow would be different. She would dry up the tears and become emotionless Agent Scully again. She would do whatever it took to get him back. 

Tomorrow she would begin the search for the father of her child.


	24. Scully

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm changing things up a little. Since Mulder isn't going to be with us for a while (sniff), I'm changing to a first person perspective so we can understand more what Scully (and maybe other characters) is going through. 
> 
> Takes place during the episodes 'Within' and 'Without.' Also, in my little fanfic universe, Mulder has no mysterious illness. That just didn't make sense to me. 
> 
> Let me know what you think. As always, thanks for reading!

I'm on Tumblr! Join me at [Scully's Right Eyebrow](https://scullys-right-eyebrow-txf.tumblr.com/)

For something lighter, check out my new Christmas fluff [A Speedy Christmas](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8821162)

 

48 hours. He’s been gone for 48 hours. It has been both the longest and shortest 48 hours of my life. Sometimes it feels like I just saw him a few minutes ago. I feel like I just said goodbye to him at the airport seconds ago, and if I just turn the car around, I can find him before he gets on the plane. But at other times he feels so far away. His coffee cup is still in the sink at home, but it must have been months since he’s last touched it. Human perception of the passage of time is weird. 

He’s been gone for two days and I end up at his apartment without really meaning to. I don’t know where I was expecting to go when I got in the car. Maybe the Hoover building to take names and kick ass; first on my list: John Doggett. But instead I turned the opposite direction. I passed parks and shops, restaurants and homes, monuments and oh so important government buildings, but I somehow ended up here. 

We consider my apartment our home, a place for both of us, but when I step into his space I’m overwhelmed by the Mulder-ness of it. This place is all him. The perpetually dirty kitchen, the boxes shoved in corners, the worn leather couch, the messy desk with its unsurprisingly missing computer, the glowing fish tank, the bed where we made love for the first time, the button down shirt that I watched him remove and throw on the bed only 2 days ago… It is all Mulder. If this place were the sea, I’d happily drown in it. 

The last time I laid on this bed it was in his arms. This time I only have his shirt to cling to. 

My body feels heavy as it sinks into the mattress. I finally let the exhaustion of the past two days catch up to me as I bury my face in his shirt, looking for any last remnant of him to hold on to. My eyes close of their own accord and I’m granted sleep, praying that my dreams will be as empty as my heart feels. 

 

******************************

I have lost everything. 

There may have been a time, when I was a girl or a teen or an idealistic college student, when I thought I could have it all. There was no doubt that I’d have the perfect career. An esteemed doctor, my list of accolades would be pages long. I would spend my days saving lives, but always made it home for dinner. 

I’d be married of course. My husband would be the envy of all my female friends and neighbors. Maybe he would be a doctor himself, or a lawyer, something respectable. He would be dependable, selfless, and loved by all. Our children would also be perfect. A boy and a girl. We’d live happily ever after in a big white house with a picket fence and a dog. 

I used to think I would someday have it all. But now I have nothing. Every good thing in my life has been ripped away. 

I lay in the arms of a man I don’t know and mourn the man I love. A man that I’ve willingly given everything for. A man that I’m so scared I’ll never see again. 

And I mourn our child that will never be born. A child that I prayed for. A child whose mere conception was a miracle. 

Moments before, I laid on the cold hospital floor and watched a man melt away. As his flesh dissolved into nothingness, I felt my own future, and the future of my child, disappear. The beating that I just received at the hands of a man who wore the face of a friend was severe, and I don’t dare to hope that my pregnancy has survived the trauma. 

So I cry. I hide my face from the world and mourn everything I’ve lost. Everything I’ll never have. 

I’m so lost in my grief that I barely register my body being lifted onto a gurney and rolled down the hallway. Unfamiliar hands cover me, cleaning wounds and ascertaining the extent of injuries, and it takes me many minutes to recover the strength and cognizance to finally utter the words that are breaking my heart. 

“I was pregnant,” I whisper in defeat. 

“Ok, honey,” a kind looking nurse says, placing her hand on my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me. But I see it. I see the looks that she and the doctor exchange. They know as I know. 

After a while, the flurry of activity in the room winds down and a doctor explains my condition: concussion, lacerations, some pretty severe contusions, and possible bruised or fractured ribs. Now that the shock has worn off, my body is wracked with pain, but to tell the truth, it’s a relief because it helps me forget my emotional agony. I’m only given mild pain killers until someone from OB can see me, and the doctor apologizes that I’ll have to be in such pain for a little longer. I don’t tell him that the pain is my only comfort. 

The wait for Obstetrician seems both endless and too quick, but ready or not she appears, pulling an ultrasound machine in her wake. The moment of truth has come, but I’m just ready for it to be over. 

“Dana, I’m Dr. Sanders,” the middle aged woman introduces herself. “I’m sure you’d appreciate if we skip the small talk and get right down to business.” 

I nod soundlessly, not trusting my voice. 

“Do you have anyone here that we need to wait for or call?” she asks. 

“No,” I whisper. I am alone. More alone than I’ve ever felt. 

“Okay,” she says in a voice that is supposed to sound comforting but I only hear pity. “I’m going to check for a heartbeat, but I want you to understand that it’s still very early. A heartbeat may not be detectable at this stage, so please don’t panic if I can’t find one.” 

I once again only nod my affirmation. 

She lifts my hospital gown, exposing my freshly bruised skin and applies the cold gel to my belly. I look away from the doctor and the machine. I close my eyes as the tears fall again. 

“There it is,” Dr. Sanders says after a few long moments. 

I don’t look up. I must have misheard her. 

“Dana, there’s a heartbeat,” she says again, her hand on my arm. 

“What?” I ask through another impending torrent of tears. 

“Right there,” she says, pointing at a tiny flicker on the screen. “Heart rate is slow but that’s normal for this stage of pregnancy. Everything seems to be fine.” 

I can’t stop the sob that erupts from my throat. My heaving breaths send shuddering pain through my injured ribs, but I can’t find it in me to care. Our baby is alive and I feel like I am again. 

“Thank you,” I gasp out once I have finally begun to calm, a watery smile on my face. “Thank you.” 

The doctor smiles back in reply. “I would like to keep you here for three days to monitor your condition, but like I said, everything looks good.” 

I nod, wiping at my tear stained face. This is the one time you won’t find me arguing about a hospital stay. 

“I’m going to send a nurse in with something for the pain and I will be back to check on you in the morning. In the meantime, you need rest more than anything. Get some sleep.” 

“I will,” I answer and I know this is no lie. The emotional and physical exhaustion from the past few days is catching up with me and it doesn’t take long for me to fall into a peaceful sleep. 

When I awake many hours later, groggy from the medication, I reach absently for Mulder. He’s not there, of course. But I’m here. Our child is here. And in this moment for the first time I feel confident that I will find him. For the first time, I have hope.


	25. Passing Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place between the events of 'Without' and 'Patience.' 
> 
> Sorry for the short chapter, I'm having trouble writing Mulder-less chapters, but I'll keep at it till we get him back!

Thanks for reading and be sure to check me out on Tumblr: [Scully's Right Eyebrow](https://scullys-right-eyebrow-txf.tumblr.com/)

I held my mother off as long as possible. She, of course, worried after receiving my cryptic voicemail and by the time I finally call her back from my hospital room in Arizona she is beside herself. 

I have to offer some sort of information to appease her, but since leaving the message, I’ve decided to delay telling her my news. I feel sick to my stomach when I think about telling anyone else of my pregnancy before Mulder. It isn’t right for him to be the last to know, so I’ll keep quiet for now. It will be obvious before too long, but I’m confident that I’ll have him back before then. I have to be confident. I have to be. 

But I also have to give my mother something, so I decide to be as truthful as possible about the situation at hand. 

“Dana, dear, I’ve been worried. Why haven’t you called me back?” her voice guilts me from across the country. 

“I’m sorry, Mom. Things have been hectic. I’m in Arizona on a case and I just haven’t had a chance to call.” 

“Well are you okay? You sounded upset on the phone. Are you on your way home?” Mom rattles off her list of questions. 

“Um, I’ve have to stay until day after tomorrow,” I say with a sigh. 

“What aren’t you telling me?” my mother asks, her mom radar going off. 

“You’re not going to like it,” I answer reluctantly. 

“Dana,” Mom demands. 

I let out a deep breath, readying myself for the onslaught that’s sure to follow my words. “I’m actually in the hospital. I’m okay, but I have to stay a couple of days.”

“Oh my goodness, Dana. Are you sure you’re alright? What happened?”

“It’s not a big deal,” I try to assure my mother. “I got in an altercation with a suspect that didn’t exactly go my way. But I’m fine, I promise.” 

“What does the doctor say?” she asks, never one to trust me when I assure her that I’m “fine.”

“It’s just some cuts and bruises. A couple of fractured ribs.”

“My god,” Mom sighs. “Where was Fox during all of this? Let me talk to him; I want to know how you really are.” 

She’s met with only silence on the other end of the phone. “Dana?”

“Mulder is gone,” I choke out, trying desperately to not let my voice convey my pain. 

“What?” Mom asks, obviously hoping she misheard me. 

“He’s, uh, he’s missing. Abducted,” I say through the tears that have silently begun to fall. 

“Abducted? Like you were?” my mother asks. 

“I don’t know, Mom. I don’t know. We don’t really have any leads right now,” I say quietly. 

“Oh, Dana. It’s going to be okay. I just know that it will. You’ll find him. You will,” Mom tries to assure me from hundreds of miles away. 

Her faith in me, while sincere, just adds to my list of burdens. Any clues to Mulder’s whereabouts disappeared with the alien bounty hunter and now I don’t know where to start looking. The Gunmen of course are working round the clock, but they’re coming up empty as well. It also doesn’t help that I can’t get anything accomplished from a hospital room. 

Eventually, my worries are abated by my need to sleep, and in sleep I find a safe haven from the fear and guilt that have overtaken my waking hours. There are no nightmares of Mulder scared and in pain; there aren’t even any dreams of him safe and happy. My sleep is blissfully void of dreaming and for this I’m thankful. I take advantage of my hospital stay in the only way I can by sleeping it away. 

Days later, I get released and immediately get on a plane back home. I promised my mother that she could pick me up at the airport and there she is, arms open, and I gratefully fall into them. I don’t cry; I feel like I’ve cried a year’s worth of tears and I don’t have any left, but I accept her comfort nonetheless. I let her drive me home and make me dinner, things that make her feel useful, and I assure her that I’ll be okay to spend the night alone. 

I retreat to our empty bed, unsurprised that it feels unusually big and lonely without him. I burrow into his pillow and imagine that he is there beside me, holding me. I can almost feel his arms pull me tighter into him as I’m once again granted a dreamless sleep. 

I’ve been ordered the rest of the week off work in order to recover from my injuries, and I use this time to rest, regaining my strength and hiding from my pain. I wake on Monday with a nasty bout of morning sickness and a hardened resolve to resume my search for Mulder. The morning sickness makes me an hour late for work where I’m given a new case for me and my new “partner” in Idaho. I don’t want to go. I just got home and I don’t feel like I should be leaving again so soon, but I have my orders and the Gunmen will alert me when and if they find any new leads. 

So I go over the case file and prepare a slide show, Mulder would get a kick out of that, and I continue our work, Mulder’s work, until he returns.


	26. Letters to No One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading! 
> 
> Part 1 takes place during the events of Via Negatvia, part 2 after Badlaa, part 3 after Per Manum, and part 4 after This is Not Happening.

Check me out on Tumblr! [Scully's Right Eyebrow](https://scullys-right-eyebrow-txf.tumblr.com/)

 

Well here I am again, Mulder. In the hospital. It’s actually the third time that I’ve been admitted since I found out about the pregnancy. 

I can’t help but think that if you were here, you would be furious. But if you were here, things would have gone drastically different. I’d never had to face down that shape shifter for starters. Also, if you were here, there’s no way you would have let me go to the desert alone. You wouldn’t believe what happened to me there, Mulder. I’m sure you would have found it all rather interesting, actually. Well, except for the “Jesus Slug” in my neck part; that was rather disgusting.

But I’m pretty sure that if you were here, you’d be doing everything in your power to keep me chained to a desk and out of the field. As much as I know that you respect me and my abilities, I’ve always been able to detect that protective streak in you, and I know that my current condition would’ve brought it out in full force. I’m almost a little annoyed at you for hypothetically smothering me. 

I think it’s safe to say that if you had been here, at least two of those hospital stays would never have happened, but even you couldn’t do anything to prevent this one. My morning sickness has mostly been contained to the mornings, but at midnight last night I found myself vomiting until there was nothing left to come up and then the dry heaves took over. It was two hours before I could pull myself off the bathroom floor; the abdominal cramping was so bad. 

As I lay crying on cold tiles, I wanted you with me so badly. I imagined that you were holding me in your strong arms and reassuring me that it would all be okay; truthfully, I imagine that a lot these days. When I pulled on yesterday’s clothes and drove myself through the deserted streets to the hospital, I pretended that you were there holding my hand. 

The doctor has assured me that everything is fine. Both the baby and I are okay. My blood pressure is a little on the high side and the doctor has contributed this and my other symptoms to stress. Hell yeah, I’m stressed! He informs me that I need to relax and Skinner is constantly telling me that I need to slow down, but how can I relax or slow down when you’re still missing? How can I not be stressed when you are not by my side? 

I don’t know what to do, Mulder. I’m here in this hospital room and I’m so alone. Sure, I know that this is loneliness of my own choosing. I could call my mother and she’d be here in a minute. The same goes for the Gunmen. But how can I tell them the truth when I’ve kept it from them all this time? And I’m still waiting for you. I want to tell you about our little miracle so badly. I need you to know before anyone else does, but I’m not going to be able to wait that much longer. 

I don’t want you to miss anything, Mulder. I want you here for every milestone, every bout of morning sickness, every craving; I want you here when the baby moves for the first time, when I discover the sex, when I’m fat and swollen and miserable…I just want you here to tell me that everything is going to be okay. 

***************************  
Sometimes, Mulder, I think you wouldn’t even recognize me anymore. And not because I’m getting fat, at least not yet anyway. I may not be acting exactly like the cynical Dana Scully you knew, but I think you’d get a kick out of me trying to be you. But the problem is that I’m not you; no matter how hard I try, I can’t see the world the way that you do. 

When we were together, that was okay. It was vital that we saw things differently, that we had different point of views. That’s how we worked, but trying to be both you and me is exhausting. Sometimes my new partner looks at me like I’m crazy, and I truly realize what it was like for you all those years. 

It’s hard to call him my partner. It hurts to associate that word to someone other than you. Although my role has been reversed, it has become easier to work with him. We didn’t exactly get off on the right foot, but he is kind and steadfast in his promise to help me find you. We’ve seen some truly weird things in the weeks that we’ve been working together, and although I’m doing the job, just like we always did together, I can’t help but feel that my time and energy could be used better searching for you. 

If we’re not on a case, my days are always the same. I do the 9 to 5 and then go straight to Lone Gunmen HQ. They always have dinner waiting on me because they know I’m too impatient to stop. They are so protective of me now that I’m afraid to imagine how it would be if they knew my little secret. But they don’t, so they simply feed me and we get down to the business of searching for a needle when all of the earth and sky is your haystack. It’s always the same: phone calls, emails, and hacking that don’t pan out. It never does, but we keep at it. I’m there until at least 11:00 most nights and then I go home and pass out until 6:00 the next morning and it all begins again. The only difference on the weekends is that I spend all my waking hours with the Gunmen or doing my own research in our office, stopping only to go to Sunday mass with my mother where she holds my hand while we pray for you, never knowing how I’m truly suffering. 

I know that you would disapprove. You’d tell me that I’m pushing myself too hard; that it’s not healthy for me or the baby. But I don’t know what else to do. Please, tell me what else to do. 

*****************************  
Mulder, I’m scared. I’m so scared.

So much is happening and I don’t know who or what to believe. I’m confused and paranoid and I just need you to be here to help me sort it all out. 

I have a new doctor; she is not affiliated with the government and I’ve had numerous background checks run in both official and non-official capacities. Skinner has vetted her and the Gunmen checked her out as well, although they of course do not know my reasons, but I have to believe that she is someone I can trust. I’ve had the baby checked many times. Amino, ultrasound, every test that can be performed has been performed and the results always conclude that everything is normal. 

Please God, let everything be normal. 

At my last ambush of the OB’s office, the doctor asked if I wanted to know the sex of the baby. The weird thing is, I really don’t. I can’t handle that right now. Not without you. All I can focus on is the baby’s health. That’s all that matters right now. 

Doggett now knows about my pregnancy but I still haven’t told Mom. I have a feeling that once she recovers from the shock and happiness, that I will have to face her wrath for waiting so long to break the news. Please hurry back, Mulder, so I don’t have to face her alone. 

I don’t want to face anything else alone. 

I’ve been so fiercely independent my entire life. I know that you haven’t always been a fan of that side of me. Of my inability to ask for help or to let you in. But now I’m asking for help, Mulder. Now I know that I can’t do it on my own. 

Please, Mulder, give me a little help. Find your way back to me or help me find my way to you. I don’t know what else to do. 

Help me.

**********************  
Mulder…

How dare you leave me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, I'll be going back to deal with the events of This is Not Happening, however painful it will be.


	27. Listening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long wait between chapters. This is the shortest chapter ever, but be looking out for longer chapters in the future! 
> 
> Back to third person. This takes place immediately preceding 'This is Not Happening.'

Check me out on Tumblr! [Scully's Right Eyebrow](https://scullys-right-eyebrow-txf.tumblr.com/)

 

The blinking light on the answering machine taunted her. She had just come to Mulder’s apartment to feed the fish, that’s all. She had planned to throw the feed into the tank and then hightail it out of there before she got caught up in another endless cycle; because she couldn’t just listen to it once. If she listened to it once, she listened to it fifty more times. 

She had tried to not look at it, its blinking light ticking away the seconds of her life without Mulder, but as usual, her gaze was drawn to the last remnant of him. She should leave; it was her lunch break and Doggett would worry if she didn’t return. He worried too much now that he knew about the baby. Damn him, she didn’t need another person worrying about her; she needed answers about Mulder, that’s what she needed. 

Scully almost did it, she almost made it out of the apartment without giving in to the temptation of the light, but as her hand closed over the door knob, she knew she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t leave without listening to it again, just once. 

With shaking hands, she pushed the button and collapsed onto the couch as the dulcet tenor of his voice filled the room and all the empty places in her heart. 

“Hey Scully, it’s me.” 

Her breath caught and her heart skipped a beat, just liked it did every time she listened to the message. It took her ten days after his disappearance to discover it. His machine was always full of messages, usually telemarketers, and at the moment she was at a loss as to what do next and the obvious choice was to clean his perpetually messy apartment, and that included deleting all his old messages. The first time she heard it, she listened repeatedly for two hours, wrapped in his Aztec blanket and crying into the leather of the couch. Her tears have dried up since then, she no longer has the energy to cry, but she still finds herself loosing hours at a time to his comforting voice. 

She’s tried so hard to keep the faith, but deep inside, she’s afraid that this recording is the last she’ll ever hear of his voice. So she sinks into the cushions, and she listens. 

“Scully, if you’re there, pick up… Okay, well you’re not answering your cell or home phone, so I thought I’d give you a try here. I just wanted to let you know that we’ve landed in Oregon and I’ll give you a call as soon as we know something. 

Look Scully, I know that you didn’t want me to go, and I’m sorry, but I promise that this will all be over soon. I’ll be back before you know it. So I guess I’ll talk to you later. Love you.” 

And that was it, he was gone. Scully let out a trembling sigh and pressed play again, she just needed to listen to him one more time. She just needed to hear his voice saying that he loved her one more time. Just one more time…

She was on her seventh replay of the recording when her phone rang. Doggett. Something had come up and it was important. He needed her at the office right away. She wanted to refuse. Scully was so tired of spinning her wheels with case that had nothing to do with Mulder’s abduction. She wanted to stay on his couch and drown her pain in the sound of his voice, but something stopped her. Maybe this time would be different. Maybe this time she’d get some answers. 

But first, she would listen one more time…


	28. At the Hour of Our Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set immediately after the events of 'This is Not Happening.' Sorry for all the upcoming angst. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.

Find me on Tumblr: [Scully's Right Eyebrow](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/scullys-right-eyebrow-txf)

 

Walter Skinner jogged down the path leading back to the camp’s main structure, his pace increasing after spying lights hovering in the sky ahead; lights that took him back to that night when Mulder disappeared and he had been unable to prevent it. By the time he reached house however, the mysterious illumination had disappeared, leaving only huddled groups of terrified onlookers, and Scully was not among them. 

He moved quickly to the holding room and spotted her immediately. Dana Scully kneeled prostrate on the floor with her forehead pressed to the gritty hardwood of the old shack, praying like she had never prayed before. 

“Please God, please don’t let this happen. Please save him. Please, God,” she whispered, tears making their way down her cheeks.

Skinner knelt beside her, hand on her back, but he had no words of comfort. There was nothing he could say that could take this pain from her. He could, however, get her off the cold, dirty floor, but as he tried to pull her to a sitting position, she resisted and remained in her penitent position on her knees, her whispered prayers becoming increasingly loud. “No, no, no, this isn’t happening. No.”

Doggett soon joined the pair and between the two men, they were able to succeed in pulling a limp and wearied Scully to an upright position, but once they had her on her feet, neither seemed to know what to do. Her head dropped to chest in defeat and she swayed on her feet. Each man held an arm firmly as they led her out of the old house. 

“Let’s get you out of here,” Doggett said with sympathy in his voice as they pulled her along toward the awaiting car. Through her tears, Scully spotted an ambulance making its way down the dusty drive. 

“Where are they taking him?” she got out in a trembling voice. 

“The hospital morgue,” Skinner offered softly, trying to cover the emotion in his own voice, trying to offer her whatever strength he had. 

“Take me there,” she said faintly as they settled her in the front seat of the car before she could collapse. “Please,” she begged, “I need to be with him. I need to be with him.” 

Skinner locked eyes with Doggett for a moment, not knowing the right move to make. With a slight nod, and against their better judgment, they silently agreed to do as she asked. It might not be the best idea, but it was the least that they could do for her right now. 

Scully cried the entire drive into town, curled in on herself as quiet sobs wracked her body. The two men had no soothing words to give her, even if they had, she probably wouldn’t have heard them with the way she was drowning in her grief. Skinner gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white, guilt inevitably seeped in, and he once again blamed himself for being unable to keep Mulder safe that night. 

And how many times had he told Scully that Mulder would be okay? Just the previous night he assured her that there was no need to prepare herself for the worst, and now this happened. He wished there was something that he could have done to help her, but truthfully, there was nothing that could prepare her for this, that was now obvious to him. 

By the time they reach the hospital morgue, her sobs had been reduced to a silent stream of tears, and her expression showed only numbness as they led her through hallways and staircases to the silent basement. The body had yet to arrive, so the trio was forced to wait in the hard hospital chairs that lined the hallway, a painful silence pervading. 

“I, uh, I’m going to track us down some coffee,” Doggett finally stuttered, desperately in need of something, anything, to do in the wake of tragedy. 

Skinner nodded in affirmation before glancing at Scully in concern. Her tears had ceased and she stared straight ahead, the shock obviously beginning to set in. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, but unlike the previous night, she did not lean into his embrace. 

“Scully, uh Dana, it’s going to be okay,” he offered, immediately regretting his words. He had a feeling that nothing was ever going to be okay for her again. 

He was saved from having to further the one sided conversation by sounds of life in the next room. Standing, Skinner surveyed the examination room through the glass paned window of the swinging door. Two EMS personnel wheeled in a black bagged body, the medical examiner awaiting them. After signing for the body, the doctor motioned for it to be moved to a nearby table where he began to unzip and remove the bag. Before long, Mulder’s body was revealed, pale and lifeless. 

Finally returning to Scully, Skinner knelt down in front of her and took her hands. “Dana, he’s here. Are you sure you want to do this?”

She finally turned her eyes to him and he was overcome with the grief he saw there. “I need to see him,” she whispered. “I need to see what they did to him.” 

“You don’t have to do that,” he replied. “The ME will take care of everything. After the autoposy he will…”

“No,” Scully gasped, interrupting him. “No autopsy.” 

Skinner’s brows furrowed. “It’s what he would want, to find some answers to all of this.” 

Again she refused and he only nodded in defeat. She of all people should know how important an autopsy is in this situation, but it was her call. There was no question in his mind that Scully had power of attorney in regards to his medical care. 

Pulling on her hands, Skinner helped her to her feet. He kept his hand at her elbow, not trusting her strength at the moment, and led her through the double doors into the cold examination room. She stopped short when she saw Mulder’s body laid out naked, covered at the hips by a towel, on the table before her. She had only a few seconds with the body before, but now in the harsh fluorescent light of the morgue, his injuries became painfully obvious.

With one last step that took every bit of resolve she had, she was by his side. Scully’s tears returned as her eyes traced his body, starting at his feet and moving upwards. The brutal scars adorned his legs and arms and chest. The long line of an incision traced his sternum. And his face, his beautiful face that she had longed for more than her next breath was gaunt and marred by the evidence of his torture. 

She reached out to touch Mulder’s cold cheek, all of the life long gone from him. A painful sob ripped from her chest as her fingers traced his features, committing them to memory, lest a day ever come that she couldn’t recall his face, his nose, his lips. 

Skinner could see her about to falter and quickly got a chair to her. Scully collapsed into the seat, but stayed by Mulder’s side, her fingers interlocking with his limp hand. 

“Can I have a moment alone?” she asked quietly, her eyes never leaving Mulder’s face.

“Scully, I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” he answered, afraid to leave her on her own.

“Please,” she whispered, finally ripping her gaze from Mulder and regarding her boss with a pleading look. 

Skinner knew that he couldn’t deny her this, and with a nod to the ME, both men turned to leave. He would give her time, but he was determined to stay close by in case she needed him; so Skinner found himself pacing back and forth in front of the door, keeping an eye on Scully as she continued to sit next to the body of her partner. Her tears continued, but he could tell that she was speaking. She was talking to Mulder without ceasing, though her words were unheard. 

With a shake of his head, Skinner mused on how much more those two deserved. Though he had no confirmation of a romantic relationship, even since he and Scully had grown closer in the wake of Mulder’s disappearance, he didn’t really need one. Despite his every inclination the preceding months and years, Scully’s behavior since the disappearance, and obviously her pregnancy, had shattered any lingering doubt. But they had obviously felt the need to keep it unspoken, so he would not say anything until Scully was ready to reveal it herself. He owed that to them. 

Skinner continued to pace and Scully continued to speak, but eventually her time was up. The medical examiner reentered the room, obviously tiring of their intrusion into his work space. 

“Dana, we need to go,” Skinner said softly, placing his hand comfortingly on her shoulder. Scully took a deep, shuddering breath and nodded, allowing him to help her to her feet. 

He urged her to move but she was rooted to the spot, watching as a white sheet was pulled over the body of the man she loved until his face was hidden from her. As devastating as this was, what really did her in was line of refrigerated storage units along the wall. She had put bodies into units much like these thousands of times without a second thought, but at that moment all she could think was how dark it was, how alone he would be in there. 

“No, please, I need to stay with him,” Scully gasped as Skinner pulled her swiftly toward the exit, but they didn’t make it out in time. She heard a door open and turned just in time to see Mulder’s body disappear into the darkness. 

That was when she collapsed to her knees on the hard tile flooring.

That was when the screaming began.


	29. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place between the events of 'This is Not Happening' and 'DeadAlive.' 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

The call came at 6:06am. If it hadn’t frightened her so badly, Maggie Scully would have been annoyed; she still had nine more minutes of sleep before her alarm was scheduled to wake her. But as it was, the shrill ringing startled her from her deep slumber and it was with a hammering heart that she answered the phone.

“Mrs. Scully,” came the deep voice from across the line, “this is Walter Skinner. I work with your daughter.”

“Oh my, is Dana okay?” Maggie interrupted, her hands shaking. 

“Yes, ma’am, Dana is fine. Well, uh, she’s not hurt. But I do have some bad news.”

Maggie steeled herself as her stomach dropped.

“Agent Mulder’s body was found last night in Montana,” Skinner said, unable to hide the slight tremble in his voice. 

“Oh my God,” Maggie gasped, the tears already beginning to form as she closed her eyes against pain that settled suddenly on her chest. “Oh my God. Dana, is she there?”

“She is,” he answered softly. “Dana is obviously very distressed. We are catching a flight this morning and should be back in DC at noon. I was hoping that you could meet us at her apartment.” 

“Yes, I’ll be there,” she said shakily, sobs threatening to overwhelm her. “Can I speak to my daughter?” she whispered.

“Um, no ma’am, I’m sorry but Dana was very distraught when viewing the body and she agreed to take a mild sedative. We got her back to the motel and she’s sleeping now.”

“Of course. Thank you for taking care of her, Mr. Skinner,” Maggie replied. “I’ll be waiting for you at Dana’s apartment,” she said, suddenly desperate to get off the phone. 

As soon Skinner said his goodbye and the line was disconnected, she collapsed back into the pillows, her face pressed into its softness as her tears made rivers down her cheeks. Her heart broke for her daughter. Sadly, Maggie knew what she was going through. She knew what it felt like to have your whole world taken from you in a second and she didn’t wish that feeling on her worst enemy. 

And her heart was broken for this man who had been through so much, who had lost so much, but always had a smile for her. He loved and protected her daughter and it was all so unfair. They both deserved so much more than this. They deserved to be happy together, and Maggie felt like they were finally on their way toward such happiness when this happened. It wasn’t fair for two people to have to suffer so much. 

As they light of a new day streamed through the windows, Maggie fell to her knees beside her bed and prayed for Fox Mulder’s soul. She prayed that he finally find the peace that was so illusive to him in life. 

************************************

The car pulled to a stop, waking Scully from her fitful sleep. They were in front of a building; it looked familiar. Oh yeah, it was her apartment building. How did she get here again? She remembered the morgue. Remembered screaming and crying and Skinner’s face. She scared him to death, she remembered that. 

She could recall the face of the young doctor that administered her medication. The girl looked like a teenager. Do they let teenagers do the job these days? The motel, she knew she had been at the motel. Just as grungy and questionable as all the others that Mulder picked out. Agent Reyes was there. She must have scared the men away. 

There had been a plane too. She and Skinner and Doggett had sat in the back and she curled up against the window, alternating between softly crying and sleeping. And now here she was, home. 

Scully was scaring herself a little; she was usually in control but now she only felt fuzzy. As if fuzzy were considered a quantifiable state of being. Her rational mind told her that this was normal. Just a combination of the sedative, shock, and self-preservation. Her mind was doing whatever it could to protect her from her grief. Fuzzy or not, she’d take this, this numbness over unbearable pain any day. 

With a jolt, the car door opened and a hand appeared to help her up. She knew immediately that it couldn’t be Mulder. He could be a gentleman when he wanted to, but this was too chivalrous, even for him. She’d laugh him off anyway; she was perfectly capable to getting herself out of a car. 

Looking up, she saw, just as she suspected, that it wasn’t Mulder. It was Doggett with nothing but pain and sympathy in his eyes. Oh yeah, she remembered, Mulder’s gone. 

Scully took the hand that wasn’t Mulder’s and let him help her to her feet. She counted her steps as they made their way into her building and to her door. Eighty-four steps. It was so odd. She had never thought to count them before. They stopped at her front door and she wondered why they didn’t just go in and she heard the men speak of keys and knocking, but finally the door just opened on its own. She didn’t know it could do that. 

Hearing a female voice, Scully looked up and into the eyes of her mother. She saw grief, she saw fear, and she saw heartbreak that made her remember her own. That was all it took for her protective walls to fall and suddenly fuzzy wasn’t a feeling any more. Suddenly all she felt was pain. 

Scully made a sound that should have come from a wounded animal, not a human being, and fell into her mother’s waiting arms. She didn’t think it was possible to have any tears left in her body, but they once again fell as she clutched her mother tightly and cried silently in her shoulder. 

Maggie held her daughter fiercely, whispering words of comfort in her ear, until she felt her falter. With Skinner’s help, they led her to the couch, and Maggie followed her down, never letting go of her child and rocking her softly. 

“We, uh, we haven’t been able to get her to eat anything,” Skinner finally spoke up, never sure what to say in situations like this. “She’s had two sedatives and there’s two more in here,” he said, giving Maggie the small prescription bottle. “Eight hours apart and if she needs more they said she has to get them from her own doctor. But, uh, don’t worry, they’re very mild. They won’t hurt the baby.” 

At this Maggie’s head shot up. “What?” she asked, furrowing her brow in confusion. 

She didn’t know. 

Skinner’s eyes registered alarm and then apology as his gaze caught Scully’s before lowering in embarrassment. 

Scully sat up and offered in a trembling voice, “I’m pregnant.” 

“What?” Maggie asked again in shock, the tears she had tried so hard to hide finally asserting themselves. 

Scully could only nod before collapsing once again into her mother’s embrace, her sobs unrestrained. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” 

Skinner and Doggett took this as their cue to leave, and with regretful nods, they exited the apartment quietly. 

“Dana…Oh my God.” Maggie cried tears of sorrow, of regret, but also of happiness and joy. How was it possible to feel so many conflicting emotions at once? She had so many questions, but now was not the time to ask, except for one. “How?” she finally asked through her tears.

Scully pulled back and looked into her mother’s eyes and Maggie was shook by the palpable sorrow she saw there. “I don’t know,” she answered honestly. 

Maggie only nodded, offering her daughter a soft smile before pulling her in to place a kiss on her cheek. She couldn’t stop herself from asking just one more question. 

“Sweetie, how far along are you?”

“Sixteen weeks,” Scully answered tearfully from where her head rested on Maggie’s shoulder. 

Her mother nodded and said no more even as her mind raced. Four months. Already out of the first trimester. She quickly did the math in her head, even though she didn’t really need to. Of course Fox was the father. Who else would it be? 

“What am I going to do without him?” Scully whispered, feeling desperately lost even as she was held in her mother’s firm embrace. 

Maggie stroked her hair, just like she did when she was a child. “It’s going to be okay, Dana,” she said holding her tightly. “It will be okay.”

Maybe if she said it enough they would both believe her.


	30. Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive the long wait between updates and the small chapter! It's definitely hard writing all this sadness but I promise to keep going. Our Mulder will be back soon!
> 
> This is obviously set between the events of 'This Is Not Happening' and 'DeadAlive.' For the sake of my story, Mulder is buried near DC, not Raleigh. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think!

The darkness and solitude of unconsciousness had become Dana Scully’s friend. Before, her dreams had been plagued with visions of Mulder and his treatment at the hands of his abductors, but they were now blissfully empty, void of anything that could remind her of her sorrow. Her mother worried, she could tell every time she awoke and found her lying beside her or sitting on the edge of the bed, but Scully couldn’t assuage her fears, she could only continue to seek refuge from her grief. 

But sadly it could not last forever and the shaking of her shoulder was unwelcome as she was forced to surface from her oblivion. 

“Dana. Dana, sweetie, you need to wake up. I’ve made you some soup,” Maggie Scully said softly, rousing her daughter from her near continuous slumber. She was worried. She knew that everyone handled grief differently, she herself became somewhat of a busybody when her husband died, constantly in motion to keep her mind off her pain, but her daughter seemed to have the opposite idea. She had slept almost nonstop since arriving home more than eight hours ago. 

Maggie wanted to let Dana hide away from the world, but she also hadn’t eaten in more than a day, and in her current condition that was unacceptable. She shook her head as she cupped her daughter’s cheek gently. She couldn’t believe that her child was having a child. It was such a blessing but happening at such a tragic time. Why did God let such horrible things happen to her children? 

Shaking away her conflicting emotions, Maggie once again shook Scully’s shoulder. “Dana, you need to eat something.” 

“I’m not hungry,” Scully muttered, trying to bury her face further into her pillow. 

“I don’t care,” her mother said firmly. “You need to sit up and eat this.”

Wearily, Scully sighed and pushed herself up to a sitting position. Leaning back against the headboard, she carefully sipped the soup she was given. Her eyes were bloodshot from all the crying and she felt like she had aged 10 years in a matter of days. Her grief was so over-powering that she just felt numb. 

“There you go,” Maggie said, combing her daughter’s hair back, “you have to keep up your strength for your little one.” She was hoping to elicit some reaction from Dana, but none came. “So those three strange men have been here for a couple of hours. I told them that you weren’t up to seeing anyone, but they’re determined to stay. They said they want to be here if you need them.” 

Scully only nodded and continued to sip her soup. 

“I told them that they can’t stay overnight, so I’ll be kicking them out soon. Do you want to see them?”

Scully rejected the idea with a shake of her head. She couldn’t bear to face them. 

“Ok,” he mother continued softly. “I’ve also talked to Mr. Skinner a couple of times. He’s started making initial arrangements, but he’s going to come over tomorrow to go over some things with you. Is that okay?”

Scully just shrugged non-commitedly, handing off her mostly finished bowl of soup. All she could think about right now was getting back to her painless slumber. 

“Alright,” Maggie said, understanding her daughter’s need to remove herself from reality. “You sleep. Let me know if you need anything.” 

Without a word, Scully rolled over to Mulder’s side of the bed and let the darkness take her again. 

*****************************  
She didn’t wake again until morning, and if it weren’t for her mother’s persistent shakes to her shoulder and declarations that Mr. Skinner would be here soon, she probably would’ve slept right through. She refused her mother’s ideas about a shower and some real clothes, opting instead to remain in Mulder’s faded Knicks t-shirt which Maggie covered with a fluffy robe. 

Scully felt like a child again as her mother securely tied her robe, brushed her oily hair, and gently washed her tear stained cheeks. Once she was deemed at least somewhat presentable, she was led into the kitchen and deposited at the table, a cup of decaf coffee and plate of scrambled eggs placed in front of her. Scully ate a few bites of the eggs for her mother’s benefit, but food no longer tasted good to her. She drank her coffee black and even its bitterness didn’t affect her. 

Someone knocked on the door soon after the dishes were cleared, but Scully didn’t look up as Skinner joined her in the kitchen, placing his hand on her shoulder as he passed. Her eyes remained glued to the half empty coffee in front of her, mesmerized by the darkness inside. 

Her mother and boss planned the funeral of the man she loved as Scully sat numbly in silence. Their questions were only answered with a shrug or nod on her part and they eventually stopped asking. As the beneficiary of his life insurance, there were forms she had to sign and there was talk of the will being read in the near future, but Scully didn’t care about any of it. She just wanted back to her bed. 

Eventually everything was decided: the funeral would be held the following afternoon, graveside service only with a small gathering of Mulder’s personal friends to follow at his apartment. Scully thought she would finally get to return to her seclusion, but Skinner had one more request. 

“Uh, Dana,” he started awkwardly. “The funeral home needs a suit for him. I went by his apartment but there were only old ones there. Do you know where…”

“Give me a minute,” she interrupted, slowly returning to the bedroom. 

With a deep breath, she opened the closet doors. The closets in the apartment were small, so most of his clothes hung in the guest room, but he always kept a few of his favorite suits in their bedroom. She went through them, touching each one lightly before pulling out a black one. She loved him in this one. She breathed it in, almost convincing herself that she could still smell him, and dropped it lightly on the bed. She pulled out a crisp white shirt and his only clean pair of black loafers. Lastly, she moved on to the ties. She chose a blue and green one, just ugly enough to amuse him and yet not too ugly to embarrass her; a compromise, like always. 

She shuffled back to the kitchen and deposited the items into Skinner's arms before turning her back without a word, once again disappearing into the confines of the only place that made her feel safe anymore. 

Tomorrow she would be put on display, her grief obvious for all to see, but for now she was content to hide away from the pain, if only for a few more hours.


	31. A Time To Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during the events of 'DeadAlive'. For the sake of my story, Mulder is buried near DC, not Raleigh.
> 
> Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!!

Dana Scully sat lifeless on her bed, surrounded by a pool of black clothing. She wore only her underwear and a too tight bra with an open robe hanging limply from her slight frame. Her hair was still mostly wet, but beginning to dry in frizzy waves. Showering had been her biggest accomplishment of the past 48 hours, but she was now sure that she could absolutely not face the rest of the day. This is how her mother found her, defeated. 

“Dana,” Maggie gently admonished from the doorway, “you should be getting ready.” 

“None of my black skirts fit anymore,” Scully replied wearily, her voice hoarse from all of the sobbing as of late.

“What about a dress?” she asked, looking through the closet.

Scully shook her head. “Dresses make it too obvious that I’m, um, pregnant.” She couldn’t deal with that, not today. 

“It’s okay,” Maggie assured her. “You go blow dry your hair and I’ll fix the skirt problem.” 

Sighing, Scully let her mother pull her to her feet and lead her to the bathroom. With little care, she dried her hair and applied her makeup before returning to her bedroom where her mother had laid out a black skirt and blouse. A large safety pin had been secured through the button hole of the skirt. 

“It’s a trick I used many times,” Maggie said, holding the skirt out to her daughter. “Keep your blouse pulled over the waist band and no one will be the wiser.” 

Maggie went to the window as Scully dressed in her all black ensemble. “It snowed again last night. It will be a cold day, but it will be beautiful.”

Scully doubted that, she couldn’t imagine that anything would be beautiful again.

***********************************************

Their first stop was the funeral home. Scully would have one last viewing of the body before the casket was closed for transport to the cemetery. Maggie held her daughter’s hand tightly as they made their way into a small parlor which contained only the coffin and several flower arrangements. 

Scully wondered briefly who had sent the flowers. Were they sent by those who actually cared about Mulder or were they sent out of a sense of obligation? So few people actually understood him. She dreaded seeing all of their colleagues from the FBI at the service. She didn’t want their sympathies or phony sense of grief. 

But her anger soon evaporated as the coffin was opened and she saw him. She felt an overwhelming need to crawl in and let them close her up alongside him. As she took in his scarred face, the thought once again ran through her mind that she didn’t want to be here without him. 

Scully broke free from her mother’s grip as she approached the casket. “Can I be alone?” she asked quietly, never taking her eyes from Mulder’s face.

“No,” Maggie answered softly but resolute. “I’m going to be here if you need me.” Tears ran down her own face as she took in the appearance of the man her daughter loved. The man that she considered part of their family. 

Scully ran her fingers through his hair, down his cheek, and brushed his lips. The body was his, but it wasn’t him. Everything that made Mulder Mulder was gone. His laugh, his grin, the mischievous glint in his eyes, it was all missing. After months of searching and praying, he was finally, truly gone. 

And she was alone. 

Before long, the funeral director returned. It was time to close the casket. 

“No,” Scully cried in a panicked voice. Once it was closed, she would never see him again and that was a thought that she couldn’t bear. How could she make it through the rest of her life without him by her side? “No, Mulder,” she cried, her head on his chest where it had rested so many times before. But this time there was no comforting sound of his heartbeat; this time there was only the sound of her own grief. 

After several attempts, Maggie finally pried her daughter from Mulder’s body. “Shh, it’s okay,” she whispered as she pulled her close. The sob that tore from Scully’s body when the coffin closed tore through her own heart. She had never seen her little girl in such pain. 

Scully felt her legs begin to give out, and a chair was quickly placed behind her. She collapsed as her anguish overtook her and she couldn’t catch her breath through the gasping sobs.

Her mother held her for many minutes, rocking her as she did when she was a child. “Dana, we need to leave soon. We don’t want to be late for the service,” Maggie finally said as she wiped the tears from her daughter’s face with a tissue. 

Scully only shook her head, “I can’t,” she gasped. “I can’t be around all of those people. I can’t hold it together.”

“You can,” Maggie assured her, “because you have to. They will be looking to you today. They will be looking to you to assure them that everything will be okay. That you will be okay. It’s not fair, but you have to be strong. Hold it together today, and you can fall apart tomorrow.”

Scully nodded through her tears, taking a tissue to try to make herself somewhat presentable again. 

“Can you do that, sweetheart?” 

“Yes,” she said, her voice sounding stronger than she felt. She could do it. She could hide the fact that she was dying inside. She could bury her emotions, she was always good at that. Except around him. Somehow, after years of trying, he finally edged his way past her defenses. But for today, she could be that woman again.


	32. Flags of Our Fathers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to first person Scully POV one more time. This chapter was the first X-files fic I wrote and started this whole story. Thanks so much for reading!

The snow is packed deeply on this winter afternoon. Just walking to the grave site in my heels proved to be a challenge, and now that I’m standing still, I find the snow almost covering my feet. The coldness is not uncomfortable; in fact, my hands and feet feel now mostly numb. It’s a numbness that I wish extended inward so that I could no longer feel my heart breaking. 

My eyes are closed as the pastor speaks, and I don’t really hear his words. My hand protectively clutches my barely there belly and I’m once again hit by a wave of dizziness. I don’t know if it’s an effect of the pregnancy or me simply crumbling under the weight of my despair, but nevertheless, I sway on my feet. 

Skinner and my mother both instantly reach for me, Skinner grasping my arm firmly while Mom wraps her arm around my waist. My eyes remain closed. 

“She’s okay,” Mom whispers as Skinner lets go of my elbow, but she does not loosen her firm grasp around me. 

Finally, I open my eyes, and my focus is drawn immediately to the flag that is draped over the coffin. After all the talk that went on in the hallways of the Bureau over the years, the nickname that followed him his entire career, and the tarnished reputation; I’m glad that he was at least afforded this small sign of respect. It’s the least that he deserved. 

I realize that the funeral must be winding down when I see the servicemen approach the coffin. They lift the flag and begin the meticulous process of folding it into a tight triangle. 

This was not a moment that I had the presence of mind to anticipate, and my heart leaps into my throat when I truly realize that I’m the only one left. He has no next of kin other than the tiny heartbeat pumping away in my womb, and only three other people at this service know of its existence. And even then, they have no confirmation that this child is his. 

Thankfully, someone, Skinner probably, thought to tell the military representatives that I was to receive the flag. Because Mulder was the last. Because I was the only one left. 

As I see the folded fabric approach me, I think of how many times a flag had been handed over in such a manner. Thousands? Hundreds of thousands? A million times? My mother had received a flag just like this. My brother’s wife or children would receive one. My own child would one day receive my very own Stars and Stripes. At this point, it is basically an everyday occurrence.

So why does it make me feel even more like my world has not only shattered around me, but is consuming me whole? 

With empathy in his eyes, the serviceman presents Mulder’s flag to me. My hands shake as they wrap around it, and the tears that I had so valiantly kept at bay break through. 

I cry silently as I clutch it to my chest. One last reminder that Mulder had been here. That he had mattered. 

********

The sound of my mother’s voice breaks me out of my reverie. I look around and see that people have begun to make their way back to their cars. I had not heard their words of condolences or felt their pats on the back. Maybe the numbness was finally setting in after all. 

“Dana, I’m going to head back to his apartment. I’ll make sure everything is ready to receive guests,” she told me in a low voice as she rubbed small circles on my back. 

“Thank you,” I whisper, relieved that she was taking care of things for me. “Please take this with you,” I say as I hand over the flag that I know she will display among the framed photos of Mulder set up at the entrance of his apartment. 

She gives a slight nod to Skinner and he alone remains by my side as I wait for the coffin to be lowered into the ground. 

Click, click, click…

The world around me disappears and I see only the now bare coffin as it begins its slow descent into the freshly dug hole. I feel a part of myself die as well as I stand by and watch my best friend be buried deep in the earth. My lover. My soul mate. The father of my child. He is, was, my everything. 

Fox Mulder isn't the only one buried that day.


	33. Memorials

Scully stood before the closed apartment door at forty-two Hegal Place, just as she had many times before, but this time it seemed to mock her. Forty-two, known to the science fiction aficionados as the answer to life, the universe, and everything. Mulder would get a kick out of her understanding of that reference, but as it was, there was no life for her behind that door. There would be no more answers for her where he was concerned. She once might have considered the universe to exist behind that door, in those days where all that existed were him and her, but now those rooms held only his left behind earthly possessions. 

His apartment held some semblance of comfort for her in the early days of his disappearance, but she hadn’t returned since his death. There was not anything in this world that could comfort her now. 

“Are you ready to go in?” said a voice from behind her. She had forgotten that Skinner was there. Who knew how long she had been staring at the door. 

Summoning every bit of resolve left in her, she pushed it open, preparing herself for the barrage of everything Mulder, not only in his belongings but in the faces of his friends. The funeral was rather impersonal when it came to the attendees, so this was the time for his friends to remember him. She prayed that God would help her make it through. 

The first sight she saw upon entering the apartment was the table that was set up at the entrance. It held the flag she just accepted on his behalf as well as several photos, all of course picked out by her mother, just as everything else about this gathering was planned by her. Scully studied the pictures: some of Mulder alone at different stages of his life, one with his parents by his side at a graduation, and a couple with him and Samantha, but the one that stood out had been taken only a week before his disappearance. It was the two of them at a Knicks game. Mulder’s arm was wrapped around her shoulder and she was leaning into him. They were smiling. They were happy. They were in love. 

Scully missed being that woman. 

“Dana,” Maggie interrupted her thoughts as she approached her daughter. 

“Mom, where did you get this picture?” Scully whispered as she picked it up for closer inspection. 

“I found a pack of photos in the junk drawer in the kitchen. It’s a good picture of the two of you.” 

“It was just supposed to be pictures of his family,” Scully said tiredly, placing the frame back on the table.

“Sweetheart, what do you think you were?” Maggie said softly, rubbing Scully’s back gently. 

Scully shook her head, trying to push back the emotions that were threatening to appear again. She just had to make it a few more hours and then she could fall apart. Just a few more hours. 

Steeling herself, she entered the main room, not surprised to find all attention turned to her. After a moment, the occupants of the room politely averted their eyes, giving her a chance to survey the small group of attendees. Of course the Gunmen were there, as was Doggett despite the fact that he didn’t know Mulder. There were a couple of old FBI colleagues that had been true friends to Mulder as well a few guys he knew from the Y. To no one’s surprise, they only stayed long enough to offer their sincere condolences before abandoning the strange little conglomeration of people. 

So it was Mulder’s memorial was condensed to seven people. A low number to be sure, but it was those that truly knew him and loved him. 

As the others milled about, eating and drinking and sharing old stories about the man, Scully sought refuge on the old, worn leather couch that held so many memories for her. All of the nights they sat together working cases, watching movies, drinking beer, making love… 

She was startled from her memories by a plate of food that was deposited unceremoniously in her lap. 

“Try to eat something, sweetheart. You’ve barely had anything for days.” Maggie said, also offering a cup of water. 

Scully pushed the food around on her plate, taking a bite from time to time to placate her mother, but when she wondered back to the kitchen to check on the caterer, Scully laid the dish down heavily on the coffee table. The sight of the food was nauseating to her, but her hands weren’t empty for long before Frohike had shoved a glass in them. 

“You look like you could use a drink,” he said, sitting down beside her with a sigh. 

She chuckled to herself. How many times had she wanted to drown her feelings in alcohol the past few months? “You have no idea,” she said sardonically, “but sadly I can’t.” 

They sat together in silence for a moment before Frohike worked up the nerve to say what was on his mind. 

“Scully, are you pregnant?” he asked hurriedly.

She glanced up at him before quickly averting her eyes. “Yes,” she finally answered, still unable to make eye contact. 

He nodded understandably, his suspicions confirmed. 

“You can tell the guys,” she said softly. “Everyone will know before long.” 

He could only nod again. “We’re all here for you, Scully. It’s going to be okay.” 

“That’s what everyone keeps telling me,” she replied, unconvinced. 

Frohike was at a loss as to how to comfort her, so he simply patted her knee and sat silently beside her in solidarity. Soon, the others settled around the room and began taking turns speaking about Mulder. They told stories of his crazy exploits, eliciting laughs from all. They spoke of his heart, his courage, his determination. In their own way, they were laying him to rest.

After everyone had spoken, even Doggett who only knew Mulder by proxy, the room quieted, waiting in anticipation for Scully to speak. 

“Dana, would you like to say anything?” Skinner asked kindly. 

Scully felt their eyes on her, but she couldn’t look up. They wanted her to tell stories of the man she had spent the last seven years with. They wanted hear about the good time, none of the bad times, even though there were plenty of those. They wanted her to assure them that everything would be okay, that she would be okay. But she couldn’t do that.

If she spoke now she would surely tell them that she felt broken and alone. She would tell them that she had lost her other half, her everything. She felt dead, she felt empty, but that’s not what they’d want to hear. She didn’t know how she’d make it to the next breath, let alone the next day, the next month, the next year. She had lost everything, and despite the fact that his child was growing inside her, she knew that she would never feel happiness again. 

But that isn’t what they needed to hear. So instead she kept silent, only shaking her head in answer to his question. The man she loved was dead, and she couldn’t even speak at his memorial. She disgusted herself. 

The sympathy in their eyes made Scully want to scream, but she couldn’t, not with so many here to witness her pain. She bit back her emotions as glasses were raised and a toast was offered in the memory of the man who had her heart from the beginning. 

After a moment of silence, the conversations gradually started up again, but Scully knew that she couldn’t handle it anymore. Her tightly suppressed emotions were quickly coming to the surface, breaking all the walls that she had erected around her heart. 

“Dana, are you alright?” Maggie asked, coming to sit with her daughter. 

“Uh, I think I’m just going to turn in,” she answered, quickly getting to her feet. 

“Do you want to go home?” the older woman questioned.

“No, uh, I’ll just stay here,” Scully answered hurriedly. “Everyone can stay as long as they want, but I just need to go to bed. But you can go home, Mom. I’m fine. And don’t worry about cleaning up. I’m just…I’m just going to sleep.”

“Dana, let me help you get settled,” Maggie said, trying to follow her into the bedroom.

“No, it’s okay, Mom. I’m fine,” Scully said, failing miserably at trying to sound assuring. 

With one last glance at the others in the apartment, she quickly shut the door, locking herself in Mulder’s bedroom. It wasn’t a minute too soon, as the sobs began to rack her body. Scully stumbled into the bathroom and turned the shower on full blast before collapsing on to the floor, finally able to succumb to the wails that seemed to originate from her very soul. 

She vaguely heard knocks coming from the bedroom door and her worried mother’s voice, but she didn’t even try to respond. Instead, she pressed her hot cheek to the cool tile flooring and cried, her body curled into a tight ball. 

Scully didn’t know how long she stayed like that, but the water was cold when she finally found the strength to sit up and shut it off. There were no other sounds coming from the apartment. Surely her mother had convinced the others that it was fine to leave her. 

With her last bit of remaining energy, Scully pulled herself to her feet and striped off her black clothing. She dug in the dresser drawers until she found one of Mulder’s eponymous gray t-shirts, and she pulled it over her naked body before collapsing in his bed. 

So was this it? Was this how the rest of her life would go? Just trying to get through each day? Living for the moments that she could get away from the world and find peace in sleep?

Was this it for her? 

The child that she prayed for barely crossed her mind; it didn’t feel real. Pain was all that was real anymore. 

*******************************  
Thirty minutes later the door quietly opened and Maggie surveyed her sleeping daughter. Scully didn’t stir as her mother pulled the blankets over her half naked body and kissed her cheek softly. She returned to the main room where Langley was packing up his lock picking set. 

“She’s okay. She’s sleeping. Thank you for opening the door,” Maggie said, the exhaustion evident in her voice.

“Would you like us to stay so you can go home and get some sleep, Mrs. Scully?” Byers asked politely. 

“No thank you,” she answered wearily. “I would feel better if I were here with Dana.” 

“Please let us know if we can do anything. We’ll check up on Scully tomorrow,” Frohike stated as they trio made their way to the door. 

Within moments, they were gone. Maggie looked around the empty apartment and sighed. She wanted desperately to fix things for Dana, but she didn’t know how and she was so, so tired. Finally giving in, she entered the bedroom and climbed in the bed with her daughter, wrapping her arms around her tightly. A single tear ran down her face and she promised herself that tomorrow would be better. It had to be. Nothing could be worse than today.


	34. Movement

“I don’t know what to do, Bill,” Maggie sighed heavily into the phone, her voice cracking with emotion. “Dana hasn’t gotten out of the bed in two days, not since the morning after the funeral, and I could barely get her home then. She was like a zombie. And she’s not eating or drinking. When I try to wake her she doesn’t even acknowledge me. I’m so worried about her.” 

“This isn’t like her,” Bill replied, his own worry evident in his voice. “Of course she’s going to be upset. I know that he was her boyfriend or whatever, but she wasn’t like this when Dad or Melissa died.”

“Don’t make comparisons, son. It isn’t fair,” Maggie said tersely. “And he wasn’t just a boyfriend. You know that kind of work partnership forges a strong bond, and I think they were living together. And…she’s pregnant.” 

There was silence for a long moment on the other end of the phone. “What?” Bill finally asked. “I thought…I thought she couldn’t have children.” 

“That’s what she thought too, but it happened.”

“Is it his?” he questioned quietly. 

“Of course it is, Bill. She hasn’t talked much about the pregnancy, she only told me a few days ago, but the baby is obviously Fox’s.”

Well, um,” Bill started, still struggling with this new information, “have you talked to her doctor?”

“Yes, I talked to her this morning,” Maggie answered. “She said that if nothing changes by tonight that I should bring take her to the hospital. I guess I’ll call an ambulance or her boss from work to help me with her.”

“I’m sorry that I can’t be there, Mom. I would if I could get off duty.”

“I understand. It just helps to talk to you about it. Her friends have come by to check on her, but I don’t really know them so it’s a little awkward talking to them. I’ll call you tonight when I make a decision about what to do,” she said, rubbing her eyes tiredly. 

“Okay, Mom. It will be alright. Dana is strong, she’ll get through this,” Bill said, hoping that he sounded assuring. 

“I know she will,” his mother answered. 

They said their goodbyes and Maggie was once again alone in her daughter’s living room. She was beginning to feel quite secluded and she was truly exhausted. She was afraid to leave in case Dana needed her. She was afraid to sleep in case Dana needed her. She was afraid to make a move that would take her away from her daughter’s side. 

After all the years she spent fearing for Dana’s safety, she never imagined a situation like this. Not only was she concerned for her daughter’s emotional and physical well-being, but for that of her unborn grandchild as well. This was the sort of fear that she had never considered. 

Maggie went to the bedroom door and stared at her only living daughter, buried under layers of sheets and blankets and pillows. She hadn’t moved since she had last checked on her. Glancing at her watch, she saw that it was now 5:00. She would give her until 7:00 and then they were going to the hospital one way or another. 

With an exhausted sigh, she went back to the living room and collapsed onto the couch with a grunt. She laid her head back, propped her feet up, and resigned herself to taking a quick nap. “Just a few minutes,” she thought before quickly being pulled under into slumber. 

The next thing Maggie heard was the voice of her daughter. 

“Mom?” Dana said groggily as she stumbled into the room looking pale and fragile.

“Oh my goodness, Dana,” her mother answered, jumping to her feet and helping her daughter sit carefully on the couch. She looked so weak that it brought tears to her eyes. 

“Sweetheart, I’ve been so worried,” Maggie admitted, kissing her softly on the forehead. “Let me get you some water.” 

She rushed to the kitchen and filled a large glass with tap water before returning to the couch and holding it to Dana’s lips so she could sip it slowly. Once she was finished, Maggie gathered her child to her, holding her firmly. 

“How long have I been asleep?” Dana asked from her place against her mother’s shoulder.

“Two days,” Maggie whispered, not adding that it was the longest two days of her life.

“I’m sorry…I just couldn’t bear to get up and have to live and have to feel things and do things and I just couldn’t do it,” she rambled. “I just wanted to be…not here. I’m sorry.”

Maggie pulled back and looked at her daughter, moving a strand of hair off her face lovingly. “It’s okay, Sweetheart. It’s going to be okay.” 

Dana nodded and looked into her mother’s eyes. “I woke up a few minutes ago and I was just going to go back to sleep. I just wanted to…stay…asleep. But I um…,” she stopped for a moment, wiping away the tears that had begun to stream down her face. Maggie nodded at her in encouragement to continue. 

“I think that I felt the baby move,” she said, making a sound that was somewhere between a sob and a laugh. “I mean, is it too early? I swear that I felt it.” 

Now Maggie was crying as well. “It’s not too early, Dana. You’re at 17 weeks; many women feel it this early but just don’t recognize what it is. That’s amazing.” 

Dana melted into her mother and cried. “I guess it took that happening for me to remember that I have a reason that I have to keep going. I’m sorry. I’ve already been such a horrible mother. I’m sorry,” she got out through gasping sobs. 

“No Dana. Look at me,” Maggie commanded, pulling her up to look squarely in her eyes. “You are in pain. You are grieving. You have been in self-preservation mode but that does not make you a bad mother. You have fought out of it for your child and that is why you are going to be a great mother.”

Dana still looked miserable but nodded nonetheless. 

Maggie wiped her daughter’s tear stained cheeks tenderly. “I’m going to make you some soup. You stay right here and rest.”

She nodded her assent, unconvinced that she actually had the strength to stand for more than a few moments at a time. Once her soup was heated, she sipped it slowly, careful to not tax her empty stomach, her mother watching her every move. 

“I want you to go the hospital, Dana,” she said after the younger woman had been able to eat half of the bowl of soup. “I want to get you and the baby checked out.”

“Okay,” Dana answered, not putting up a fight for maybe the first time in her life. 

“And I want you to talk to your therapist.”

She nodded, “I will. Whatever you want me to do, Mom, I’ll do it.”

Relieved beyond belief and hoping that Dana had finally turned a corner, Maggie helped her daughter to her feet. “Let’s get you cleaned up and we’ll go to the hospital.” 

***************************

Maggie stood outside of her daughter’s hospital room, staring through the glass as Dana spoke with a dark haired woman, her therapist. She seemed to be talking in a steady stream at this point, but she had previously had to stop several times due to the tears that rendered her unable to speak. 

The doctor had already come in and deemed both Dana and the baby in good condition, they had even got to see an ultrasound, but she was being kept overnight in order to receive intravenous fluids for the serious dehydration she had suffered. It could have been a lot worse and Maggie made note to stop by the hospital chapel to thank God for keeping her family safe. 

Soon, the door opened and Maggie is ushered into the room by Dr. Kosseff. She perches on the side of Dana’s bed, taking her hand and stroking it softly. 

“We’re all done, Mrs. Scully,” the doctor told her. “Dana and I have scheduled a weekly appointment but I want both of you to know that I’m available whenever is needed. Don’t be afraid to call me. Dana and I also spoke about getting her on an anti-depressant for the short term, but it is very mild and will not affect the baby. I will have a colleague come in and speak with you about it and get it prescribed. Is there anything else you need? Anything?”

Maggie looked to her daughter who shook her head tiredly, exhausted from her most recent outpouring of thoughts and emotions. 

“I think we are good. Thank you so much for coming in to speak with us,” Maggie said sincerely. 

“I hope it was helpful, Dana,” the doctor answered, rewarded with a small nod from her patient. “I’ll come by to check on you tomorrow before you’re discharged. Goodnight.” 

“You okay?” Maggie asked when they were once again alone. “Are you hungry? Thirsty? Need anything?”

“I’m alright, Mom. I’m just really tired,” Dana replied, sinking lower into her hospital bed. “You look exhausted too. Why don’t you go home tonight and get some rest and a change of clothes.”

“No Dana, I don’t want to leave you here alone,” Maggie insisted like any good mother would. 

“I promise that I’ll be fine. I’m just going to sleep anyway. The nurses will check in on me and I have the call button right here if I need them. You haven’t been home in days and I would feel better if you had just one night in your own bed. The cots here are atrocious,” she rationalized. 

“I don’t know,” Maggie answered, tempted by the offer but still unsure about leaving. 

“Mom, please. I’m too tired to argue with you,” Dana said, struggling to keep her eyes open. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll go,” she relented. “But I’m going to speak to the nurse before I leave and make sure that she keeps an extra eye on you. And I’ll be back first thing tomorrow.” 

“Okay, Mom. Love you,” Dana muttered before giving in to her struggle with sleep. 

Maggie kissed her child on the forehead. “I love you too,” she whispered into her ear. 

She fussed around the room for a minute, making sure that anything Dana would need was within arm’s reach. Finally satisfied, she quietly opened the door and stepped into the hallway. She studied her sleeping daughter once again from the window, having hope for the first time in days that maybe she would get through this.


	35. Back to Normal?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during the months of Mulder's 'death' in 'DeadAlive.'

Scully was surrounded by life-size pictures of pregnant women. Smiling, happy pregnant women. 

She hated them all. 

Knowing that if she saw another smiling face she’d scream, Scully kept her eyes trained on the rack of clothes in front of her. She mindlessly shifted through the hangers filled with ugly maternity blouses and concentrated on her breathing. It wasn’t going to happen here; she refused to have a breakdown in the middle of this store. 

It had been two weeks since Mulder’s funeral. Some days were okay and some days were not. Today had started out alright, but was quickly descending to not-okay status. 

There had been days when Scully felt like an approximation of herself again. Days where she would shower and dress, sit on the couch and make polite conversation with her mother, and maybe even venture out for a walk around the block if she was feeling adventurous. But then there were also days where her one accomplishment was simply getting out of bed. 

There were also times where she went from perfectly calm to full out emotional breakdown in no time flat. It happened once while watching ‘The Price is Right’ of all things. One moment she was simply remembering that Mulder always over-bid on the prizes and the next she was hyperventilating, overcome with thoughts about how scared he must have been, how much pain he must have experienced. Had he called for her? How had he felt when he realized that she wasn’t going to save him? Did he die painlessly or was he screaming in agony? That little episode earned her a house call from her therapist. 

But today had seemed tolerable so she had given in to her mother’s requests to go shopping for maternity clothes. She wouldn’t be able to wear stretched out sweatpants for the remainder of her pregnancy after all. 

So they shopped. Maggie was still handling her daughter very delicately, and being sensitive to her emotional states, she could tell that Dana was quickly becoming overwhelmed. 

“Ok Dana, we’ve got you a pair of black pants, a skirt, a pair of jeans, a few tops, and a couple of bras. I think it’s a good time to call it quits,” Maggie said, taking her daughter’s arm and pulling her toward a row of chairs. “You just sit for a minute while I check out.” 

Scully only nodded, her eyes downcast but still feeling the taunting smiles of the models upon her. She didn’t even argue when Maggie paid for the purchases herself. They quickly left and were home in no time. 

After a light dinner, Scully decided to go straight to bed. It was still early but she had done something productive with herself and now she was physically and emotionally exhausted. As she shut her eyes, she focused her thoughts on his face and pretended that his arms were wrapped around her in sleep. She listened to herself breath in and out, synching her breathing to his phantom breathes. She let sleep slowly take her as she mentally checked off one more day that she had survived without Mulder by her side. 

Days passed much like this. She gave herself one task to accomplish each day, and for the most part she was successful. Then she moved on to two and three tasks. She finally came to the realization that although her heart was broken, she was becoming a functioning member of society again, and with that realization came a need to return to work. 

“Dana, I think it’s too soon,” Maggie stated emphatically after hearing of her daughter’s plans.

“Mom, it’s been three weeks since the funeral. I’ve run out of bereavement leave and I’m now using my sick days which I think I should be saving in case I need to take extra time off when the baby comes. And truthfully, sitting at home all day isn’t helping me anymore. I need to work. It will help to be busy and get my mind off everything. And I’ve already talked to Skinner and he said that I can start with only half days.”

Maggie sighed, “Well I can’t very well stop you once you’ve set your mind to something. Maybe you’re right, maybe it would help to have something to do. It did for me.”

Scully reached over and wrapped her arm around her mother, giving her a squeeze. “If you’re willing to continue staying with me through the first week until I get used to everything again, then I think I’ll finally be ready for you to move back home. We both know that you can’t stay here forever.” 

Maggie rested her temple against her daughter’s. “I could if you needed me to, but you’re much too independent for that.” 

Scully offered her mother a small smile. “Or maybe just too stubborn. But thanks for being here, Mom. I don’t think I would’ve made it without you.” 

“When will you start back?”

“Monday,” Scully answered, already anxious about the upcoming week. 

*******************************

Scully looked herself up and down in the full length mirror one more time. She was wearing a pair of black maternity pants but had opted for a slightly oversized sweater rather than one of the maternity blouses that made her condition way to obvious. Her matching blazer struggled to button, but she preferred to wear it open as it helped disguise her small baby bump. 

She knew that she wouldn’t be able to disguise it for much longer, but she just wanted to make it at least a week before the rumors switched from the return of poor Mrs. Spooky to knocked up Mrs. Spooky. 

Perching on the side of the bed, Scully took a deep breath and reached over for the framed picture on her bedside table. The photo had been among those found by her mother in Mulder’s junk drawer. It was she and Mulder on the beach at Martha’s Vineyard. It had been early, just after sunrise, and their eyes were tired but happy. She was standing in front of him, incased in his warmth and her head leaned lazily against his neck. His arm that wasn’t holding the camera was wrapped around her stomach and his unshaven cheek was pressed to her temple.

They had been so happy then. They thought that they had all the time in the world. 

Scully looked at the photo for just a minute more. There were days that she stared at it for hours, nights that she slept with it clutched to her chest, but not today. Today she had to step back into her “Agent Scully” persona, if only for a few hours. 

With a sigh she replaced the photo and gathered her things. After giving her mother one last assurance that she would be fine, Scully got in her car and drove to FBI headquarters for the first time in a month. Skinner met her in the parking garage and walked with her to the basement. Scully kept her gaze down, unable to meet the eyes of her fellow agents, and she was relieved once they reached the safety of the office. She had every intention of secluding herself down there for as long as possible; for the next four months if possible. She knew that it wasn’t healthy behavior, but she just didn’t know if she could handle the stares, the assumptions, or the pity. 

“Agent Scully,” Doggett said, standing as she enters, “it’s good to have you back.”

“Thank you,” she replied quietly. “It was time.” 

After a short chat with both men, Scully settled in at her desk, Mulder’s desk. Her breath caught as she felt movement deep inside her. Although she had been feeling the baby move more regularly, it never ceased to surprise her, and she pressed her hand to her stomach tenderly.

‘This is where I met your Daddy,’ she thought to herself, tears filling her eyes. She hastily wiped them away before Doggett could see, but one glance his way told her that she had been caught. He offered her a sad smile before turning back to his paperwork. 

With a sigh, Scully turned on her computer, intent on catching up with a month’s worth of emails, hoping they weren’t all condolences. As the machine booted up, her eyes took in the office. Mulder’s basketball was still on the top shelf, his poster and newspaper clippings still hung on the wall, and if she dug deep enough she might just find some of evidence of his most unsavory habit buried in desk drawers. 

And on his desk, the picture of Samantha remained. She was so young, her smile so innocent. She was the reason for all of this. Most of their cases brought more questions than answers but they had helped people, they had saved people, and she was the reason for that. The photo remained and so would Scully. She didn’t know how much longer she would be on the X-files with the baby on the way, but for as long as she was there she would work to help people. For Samantha. For Mulder.


	36. One Step Forward...

Dana Scully was sweating. She didn’t think she had ever been this hot in her whole life. And she had awful heartburn that had somehow seemed to make her even hotter. Her blazer made her feel as if she were incased in a furnace and she longed to shed it, but she had one problem. 

She was in a meeting in Skinner’s office. In a meeting with ten other men. She took the blazer off and the cat would officially be out of the bag. 

Scully had only been back at work for a week, but somehow in this one week her belly seemed to have gone from ‘maybe she’s just gaining weight’ to ‘she’s definitely pregnant.’ When forced to leave the safety of the basement, she had taken to carrying file folders in front of her torso or wearing her most oversize coat. Anything to shield her ‘condition’ from the rest of the world. Sometimes she felt like she was an actress trying to hide her pregnancy on a sitcom; they always seemed to hide behind potted plants and it made Scully want to seek out all the plants in the building for camouflage.

In this particular meeting, Scully’s blazer was her only protection from inquiring eyes and it was becoming increasingly evident that it would have to go. She managed to make it until they took a break before she practically sprinted to the ladies’ room. Once inside, she hastily peeled the jacket off, sighing with relief and then ran a wet paper towel down her face and neck. 

She looked in the mirror and noticed that despite her perpetually sad eyes and momentarily flushed cheeks, she looked healthy for the first time in months. She took in her figure, her breasts notably larger and her belly round and beginning to protrude. She was wearing a form fitting cream colored maternity shirt, one that was made for women who wanted to flaunt their form rather than hide it. She didn’t know what possessed her to wear it on this day, but she knew that if she stepped out that door like this there would be no question. The news would spread just as quickly as it did the day ‘poor Agent Scully’ finally returned back to work. 

“To hell with it,” Scully mumbled to herself before grabbing her jacket and walking into the hallway with her head held high. 

Kimberly, Skinner’s secretary, did a double take as Scully strode by her into the office and she felt several sets of eyes on her when she stepped into the room. Skinner himself seemed surprised by her appearance. 

“You okay?” he asked quietly as she returned to the table. 

“Fine,” she answered quickly as the others began to take their seats. 

Every instinct told her to keep her eyes averted, lack of eye contact as a form of self preservation, but she refused. She met the stunned stares head on. She wouldn’t blink first, and why would she? She was not ashamed. 

After the meeting, none of those in attendance made a move to speak to her, but Kimberly stopped her as she left the office.

“Agent Scully, I had no idea. Congratulations?” she seemed to ask in the form of a question, as if it’s not proper to congratulate a woman whose partner is six feet under. 

“Thank you,” Scully answered quietly but genuinely. 

She made it through the day, her first full day back to work, exhausted but relieved that the truth was out, and returned home to an empty apartment for the first time in a month. Her mother had left for home that morning, promising that she’d come back if she was needed for anything. 

Scully was never afraid of silence, but she had to admit that she felt a bit lonely. 

“I guess it won’t be like this for long,” she said to herself, rubbing her hands comfortingly along her baby bump. “If you’re anything like your dad, you won’t be afraid to make a little noise.” 

Scully let out a small cry of surprise as she felt something bump against her hand. It was a kick. The first kick that was strong enough to be felt from the outside of her body. And then something even more miraculous happened. 

She smiled. 

A full-out smile; the first one in many months. 

Scully laughed and felt around her belly for another kick, wishing that she had someone to share this moment with. She bit her lip as the tears gathered in her eyes. Mulder should be here. He should have his hands all over her stomach, speaking to her belly, trying to coerce one more kick out of the little miracle inside. But he wasn’t. She was consumed by sorrow as she was once again reminded that he was gone. 

She collapsed on the couch and wept as the sorrow was joined by guilt. Guilt that she had smiled, that for one moment she had been happy. Mulder was gone; how could there be any happiness left in the world? 

But as she clutched her stomach in despair, Scully felt it once again. It wasn’t yet strong, but it was there nonetheless. A kick. 

Though the tears continued to run down her face, she felt the smile begin to emerge again. This is what he would want. As hurt as she may be, he would want her to be happy. He would want her to celebrate the milestones of her pregnancy with their child. 

So Scully only allowed herself five more minutes of crying. Five more minutes of thinking about what should be before forcing herself to face up to what was. 

When she pulled herself off the couch and into the kitchen to make dinner, she felt better. She felt stronger and energized, and after dinner she put some of that energy to work. Scully had truly yet to prepare at all for the baby’s arrival so she began the process by cleaning out the nursery. 

One task; if she could get one task done, she’d feel accomplished. 

She completed her one task, emptying the contents of the dresser drawers into boxes marked ‘keep, donate, and trash,’ within an hour, and moved on to the closet. Her belongings were either relocated to other closets or boxed up, but she couldn’t bring herself to moving Mulder’s left behind clothes and shoes yet. The energy that she felt earlier was quickly dissipating when surrounded by his possessions and she chose to claim a victory for her other accomplishments and leave his things for another day. 

By the time she finally fell into bed it was well after midnight, and the morning came much too early. She knew that she was a sight to behold as she dragged herself into the office the next day. 

“Good morning, Agent Scully,” Doggett said from desk where he sipped his coffee slowly. “How are you today?”

“Well, I miss coffee,” she answered as she eyed his caffeine filled drink with some jealously. 

He laughed. “Not too bright eyed this morning, huh?” 

“Not even remotely,” she answered. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.” 

His brow furrowed in worry. “Everything okay?” 

“Yes, it’s fine. I was up late, uh, I guess nesting is the word.” 

“Really?” he responded with a smile.

“Yeah, I started packing up the guest room so I can get it changed over to the baby’s room and I was on a roll. I guess I lost track of time,” she answered, sitting at her desk and turning on the computer. 

“Well if you need any help, let me know.” 

“Thank you, Agent Doggett. I may take you up on that. You and your truck might be quite helpful in getting the furniture moved to my storage unit,” she said, relieved by his offer. 

“My moving services are available. Just let me know when,” he replied with a smile. 

The work day passed without incident. There were definitely some glances thrown her way, but nothing more than she expected. Scully was once again feeling pretty energized and on the drive home found herself in the Target parking lot. 

“You can do this,” she said, giving herself a pep talk. “Just buy one thing, just one thing to get started.” 

Determined, she strode straight to the baby section, endless aisles of everything you’d ever need for a newborn. It was a bit overwhelming if she were being honest. Cribs, bouncers, strollers, diapers, onesies, blankets, pacifiers, bottles, breast pumps, formula, tiny socks… The options were endless. 

Scully strolled aimlessly aisle after aisle with no idea where to start. She simply wanted to buy one item so she could finally say that she had gotten something for her child, but now she was questioning whether it was a good idea. She was suddenly feeling vastly underprepared for motherhood. 

But then she saw it. A simple white onesie with red lettering, perfect for a boy or girl. Her eyes filled with tears but she smiled through them. It was perfect. 

Happy with her selection and with a sense of relief and accomplishment, Scully quickly paid and went home where the small article of clothing was placed lovingly on the bed in the soon-to-be nursery. She traced the letters with her fingers and laughed. He would love it. 

In red block letters, it simply read, “My Dad is cooler than yours.”


	37. ...Two Steps Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for putting up with all the angst! We'll get through this!
> 
> Takes place after the events of 'This Is Not Happening.' For this little story, Mulder was buried close by, not NC. Also, I know the timeline doesn't make a lot of sense. CC's timeline is so screwed up that I'm just doing the best I can! 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!!

Scully had only been back at work for two weeks when she was forced to take a couple of days off for Thanksgiving. Truthfully the holiday had snuck up on her. She and Mulder always seemed to be on a case during Turkey day. She lost count of how many times they ate dry, cold turkey in road side diners in Podunk towns. Actually, the more she thought about it, it was kind of nice. 

With half of the family being on the other side of the country, the Scullys never went big on Thanksgiving, and since her husband’s death, Maggie Scully had taken to gathering with a small group of friends to celebrate the day. They cooked more than they could ever eat, leftovers always made their way into Mulder and Scully’s refrigerators, and they spent the rest of their evening watching favorite old movies. 

Scully was invited every year and every year she declined, this year being no different. Maggie had argued that she shouldn’t be alone, but Scully convinced her that she really just needed the day to rest after her return to work. She’d be fine. 

Skinner, unsurprisingly, also worried about her and actually invited her along to his yearly meet up with some old army buddies and their families, but she convinced him as well that she’d be fine. 

The Gunmen had plans to eat loads of tacos, drink a lot of alcohol, and play Dungeons and Dragons until the wee hours of the morning. Scully was welcome to join them, minus the drinking of course, but she was quick to decline. She told them that all she wanted was her bed and a good book. She’d be fine. 

Doggett was traveling to upstate New York to visit his mother, and thankfully did not try to invite her along, but he did inquire about her plans, if she’d be alone. She assured him that she was good, she’d be fine. 

But when Thanksgiving came, Dana Scully was not fine. 

She wasn’t even sure how she ended up at the cemetery. 

It wasn’t planned. Her intentions were true; she just wanted a low key day alone to relax, but it wasn’t to be. Scully woke with tears in her eyes and sorrow nestled in her soul. Her heart literally felt heavy. She felt a weight on her chest that made it hard to breath. 

She didn’t know how she was back in this state. Things had been going relatively well. She still cried, she still mourned, but suddenly she was feeling like she had in the days right after his death. Like there was no hope. Nothing to live for. Like she had died too. 

Scully barely remembered putting on yesterday’s clothes and driving to the cemetery, but here she was collapsed to the ground in front of his headstone, heaving sobs emitting from throat. It was her first time to return since the funeral and all she wanted was to lay on the damp grass and cry, to sink into the ground with him. 

She wrapped her arms around her belly as feelings of guilt joined her despair. How could she think these things? She had their child to consider, but for the moment all she wanted was to be with him. She needed to be strong, she needed to pull herself off the ground, but her sorrow was paralyzing. 

How was she supposed to live in this world without him by her side? How could she be both mother and father to this child? How could she continue to exist without the other half of her heart? 

Scully, so lost in her grief that she no longer had the ability to sit upright, crumbled against the headstone, her face pressed against its cool surface. Her fingers covered the letters of his name, clawing uselessly against them as if she could hold them, hold him in her grasp. 

After what could be minutes or hours, her sobs finally dissipated and her tears were no longer constant, but she had no strength to stand. She felt a presence beside her and a hand tentatively touch her shoulder. 

“Dear child, are you alright?” 

Scully slowly turned her head to see a tiny, white haired woman beside her. This woman was much older than her own mother, but she could tell from her touch that this woman was a mother herself. She saw a sadness in her eyes that she could see in her mother’s eyes, in her own eyes. This woman was a widow as well. It was funny, she had never thought of herself as a widow until that moment. 

“I’m okay,” Scully said, wiping her eyes with her coat sleeves. She took the old woman’s offered hand and carefully stood up. “I’m okay, I just…” she didn’t know how to finish the sentence as another tear made its way down her cheek. Her grief couldn’t be put into words, but she had a feeling that this woman understood all too well. 

“You’re sure?” the woman asked, her hand still on Scully’s elbow in support. 

Scully noticed that in her other hand, the woman held three perfect sunflowers. In the middle of November. There had to be a story about that. 

Scully nodded. “Yes, thank you for checking on me but I’m okay. I’m just going to go home.” 

The woman smiled sadly and rubbed Scully’s arm. “I know that if feels like you won’t get through this, but you will.” With one more smile, she turned and made her way further into the cemetery. 

Scully looked to Mulder’s grave and touched it one last time before sighing and making her way slowly to her car. She got behind the wheel and wiped away her remaining tears as she caught sight of the old woman in the distance, placing her sunflowers reverently on a gravestone. 

***************************************************

Scully seemed to drive on autopilot to Mulder’s apartment. She hadn’t been there since the memorial, but it seemed like the right place to be. She was shocked to find the place spotless. It didn’t take her long to discover the card from a cleaning service on the kitchen table and she had no doubt that it was the doing of her mother.   
She walked aimlessly from room to room before finding herself in front of the answering machine. She hadn’t heard his voice in a month, so she pressed play. She laid on the worn leather couch and continued to press play for an hour, drowning in the sound of the voice she longed to hear more than anything in the world. 

The apartment was paid up for two more months, but as she wallowed in her despair, she decided no more. The additional rent was already a strain on her finances, and no matter how much she prayed it would, keeping this apartment would not bring him back. 

Determined, she strode into the bedroom and threw open the closet door. Her goal was to pack up the contents, but instead she found herself haphazardly pulling clothes off the racks and throwing them to the floor. His clothes, her clothes, nothing survived her rage. Next was the dresser. With a sound somewhere between a sob and a scream, Scully emptied them all onto the floor as well. His blankets and pillows went next and she was about to take her destruction out on an innocent lamp when she broke. 

With a wail, she slid to the floor, a discarded comforter softening her descent. She once again lost track of time as she wept on the cold hardwood, surrounded by Mulder’s belongings. She was beginning to wonder how it was humanly possible for a person to cry that much. How did she have any tears left in her? 

Eventually Scully heard noises from the other room and a sharp gasp from the doorway. “Dana,” her mother whispered and was by her side in an instant. “Oh, sweetheart,” she simply said, pulling her into an embrace. 

Scully, relieved to realize that she was no longer crying, melted into her mother’s protective arms. 

“Dana, you worried me. I went by your apartment and you weren’t there and you didn’t answer your phone. Sweetie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you on your own.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Scully assured her. “I had a bad day,” she admitted with a hitch in her voice. 

Maggie held her daughter on the floor for some time before her body began to protest. “Let’s get you home,” she said, kissing her forehead. 

Scully didn’t put up a fight and allowed her mother to help her downstairs to the car. The ride was mostly silent until Scully had the courage to ask a question that she’d had for several months now. 

“Mom,” she asked hesitantly, “do you remember the last conversation you had with Daddy?”

Maggie looked at her sadly before turning her eyes back to the road. “No,” she said softly. “It was just a normal night. We did our normal nightly routine and went to bed. And then he was gone. It was nothing special.” 

Scully nodded, unsurprised to find her eyes once again filled with tears. “I wish it had been like that for us,” she said softly. “I wish that it had just been a normal night. But it wasn’t. We had been fighting. We were both pretty mad. We put it aside when we said goodbye at the airport, and I told him that I loved him. And he said it back, but I can’t get over the fact that the last time we were together, we were mad at each other. I wish I couldn’t remember,” she said with a sigh. 

Her mother reached over and held her hand the rest of the car ride home. There was nothing she could say that would take away her daughter’s pain. 

The next day, Scully returned to Mulder’s apartment and put everything back where it belonged.


	38. Christmas with the Scully's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for being patient with my slow writing! I'll try to have another chapter up soon. Thanks so much for reading!!

November quickly turned to December and as the rest of the world began decorating, shopping, and celebrating, Scully began to quietly disappear into herself. 

Where she once loved the holiday, she now prayed for it to end quickly and painlessly. As a child she insisted that the tree go up the first day of the month, but her Christmas decorations would not see the light of day this year. There would be no viewing of ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ either. Not only could she not stand to watch the standard holiday movies, but she could barely watch anything on television. The Christmas commercials alone sent her into either hysterical sobs or seething rage. How dare those families look so happy when she’s suffering? 

But to be honest, it wasn’t just the holidays that Dana Scully was trying to avoid, it was life in general. Whereas her job once gave her purpose and passion, it was now simply an 8 to 5 endeavor. No field work meant riding out the clock at a desk; even the occasional perplexing autopsy was unable to hold her interest. 

The few friends that she had tried to cheer her up, but to no avail. Frohike even offered to get her tickets to the Symphony, she used to love the Symphony, but she no longer loved to do anything. Her mother assured her that she’d feel better after the holidays, but Scully was afraid that this lack of passion for life was to be her new existence. 

Despite her resistance, Christmas eventually came and Scully found herself at her mother’s house, surrounded by trees, lights, and presents. She was obviously not up to traveling to San Diego that year, so Bill and his family made the cross country trek instead. At first, Scully had been afraid that Bill would be dismissive of her pain or relieved that the ‘sorry son of a bitch’ was finally out of their lives, but instead he was kind to her. He congratulated her on the baby and offered to help her in any way she needed. His behavior was surprising, but a weight off her chest nonetheless. 

Scully was quiet during dinner and the opening of gifts, but she actively tried to not bring down the festivities. She was attentive to those around her, responded when spoken to, and was a good sport when opening presents, several for both ‘Baby Scully’ and herself. 

As the evening began to wind down however, she found herself emotionally exhausted, and yet too physically exhausted to get off the couch and drive home. So she simply sat in silence, her mother and Tara on either side or her carrying on a conversation about the best conditions for planting a vegetable garden of all things and Bill and Matthew on the floor assembling the child’s new remote control car. Her eyes closed of their own accord and she didn’t know how long she had been napping when she felt a small hand on her belly. 

She opened her eyes to see the youngest Scully with a very skeptical expression on his face. 

“Baby in there?”Matthew asked, pointing at her stomach his eyebrow rising. 

The three women on the couch laughed and Scully found herself genuinely smiling for the first time since this hell month started. 

“Yes, there’s a baby in there,” she replied, taking the child’s hand and placing it on the left side of her stomach. “And he or she has been pretty active tonight, so if you wait just a minute you might just feel…”

She was interrupted by a strong kick against her stomach and Matthew’s hand. He jump, a scandalized look on his face, and scurried off back to his toy car. The women laughed again and Maggie rested her hand on the spot that Matthew’s hand once occupied, smiling as she felt the baby’s movements. 

“Has he been kicking like this all night?”

“Just for the past hour or so,” Scully said. I think he senses when I’m getting tired and takes the opportunity to try to keep me awake. It happens most nights.” 

“The little guy, or girl, is just preparing you for the next year of your life,” Tara laughed, now taking her turn to feel. “And speaking of little guys or girls, are you really not going to find out the sex?”

“Of course I’m curious, but I’ve made it almost seven months without knowing, I think I can make it two more. And you know, it was never really a conscious decision. I’ve had so many scares that I really couldn’t think about anything other than the baby’s health. Either way, I’ll be happy,” Scully said, rubbing her hands over her belly. 

“Well you’re stronger than me; I had to find out at the first opportunity. But I just knew it. I knew that I was having a boy. I could just feel it. So what are you feeling, Dana? You have fifty percentage chance of being right,” Tara smiled. 

Scully tried to smile back. She knew the question was all in good fun, but still her heart sank. 

“I guess I don’t really have a feeling,” Scully replied quietly, a slight hitch in her voice. 

“Dana that’s okay. I didn’t really mean anything by it,” Tara said hastily. “I know that you’re excited about the baby, boy or girl.” 

Scully looked down at her hands sadly. “It’s hard for me to be excited about anything these days,” she admitted. “Of course I’m happy about the baby, but so often I just find myself feeling sad. And then I feel guilty about being sad. I know that for most women this the happiest and most exciting time of their lives, but some days I can’t even get out of bed. I don’t even have the nursery ready. I’ve barely bought anything. And I’m just…I’m just afraid that I don’t have what it takes to be a mother,” Scully said as a couple of well fought tears escaped from her eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m spiraling and I didn’t want to do this on Christmas. I tried so hard today to not bring everyone down.” 

“Shhh,” Maggie soothed her, pulling her into her embrace, “don’t you worry about that. It’s been a lovely Christmas.” 

“Dana, why don’t you let us take you shopping tomorrow?” Tara said, rubbing Scully’s arm comfortingly. “We’ll get everything you need for the nursery and then we’ll relax by the fire while Bill assembles everything.” 

“Hey, I heard that,” Bill called from his place on the floor. 

Scully gave a small smile from where she leaned against her mother. “That sounds good, Tara. I think I’ll feel better once we get this kid a crib.” 

“Well then it’s settled, girl’s shopping day tomorrow,” Maggie said, giving her daughter squeeze. “Now, I think Santa has one more gift for you upstairs.” 

“Mom, you already got me too much,” Scully protested.

“It’s not from me, it’s Santa,” Maggie insisted pulling Scully to her feet and leading her upstairs. 

In the upstairs guest room, Scully found her grandmother’s rocking chair, newly refinished and with light green cushions and a big red bow. 

“Granny’s rocking chair?” Scully asked as she ran her hand over the smooth finish.

“She rocked me and all of my sisters to sleep in this, just as I did with you and your siblings. It’s about time it gets some use again,” Maggie said, motioning for Dana to sit. 

She gingerly lowered herself into the chair and gave it a few easy rocks, imagining herself holding her own child one day in the not too far future. “Thank you, Mom. This means a lot.” 

******************************

The next day’s shopping outing was relatively painless for Scully. The three women spent several hours at a department store, but they were able to purchase all of the big items that were needed. A bassinet, changing table, stroller, car seat, bouncer, and swing were all selected. As her luck would have it, the crib she chose was out of stock and would have to be delivered at a later date, but she was still relieved to have so much taken care of. 

The real shock came when she checked out and her purchases rung up to well over a thousand dollars. She ran the numbers in her head, silently cursing the hit her bank account took when she began paying two rents every month. 

Her mother must have seen her panic because she quickly spoke up. “Dana, dear, let me go in for half with you.” 

“No, it’s okay, Mom,” Scully said, scanning her wallet for the one card that she’d never used. The card that accessed Mulder’s accounts which were now hers. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to use his money yet, but if there were ever a time, it was now. 

A thousand dollars was negligible in the grand scheme of his estate, but her heart still jumped a little when the sales associate swiped her card. It was what he would want. He’d want her to use his money for their child, of that she was certain. 

After a stock boy somehow miraculously fit all of their purchases into her car, Scully and her family returned to her apartment where Bill was waiting to unload the many boxes. 

“Dana, did you leave anything at the store?” he asked when he finally wrestled the last box through the door of the nursery. 

“Shut up,” she said, throwing a wad of packing paper from a recently opened box at him.

“I’m going to be here all night getting this stuff put together,” he mused, surveying the surroundings. 

“And no breaks until it’s done,” Scully ordered, settling herself in her new (old) rocking chair, beginning to sort through a bag of onesies and the tiniest socks imaginable. 

Maggie and Tara soon left to get Matthew in bed, leaving Scully and Bill alone, sometimes a scary proposition, but on this occasion, they worked well together. Scully organized the parts and read the directions while Bill handled the actually assembly. They kept the conversation light along with some good natured teasing, and it did Scully’s heart good to be able to be with her brother with no animosity between them. 

After a couple of hours of working, they were down to the last project: the baby swing. Scully had become quiet. A full day’s worth of activity was beginning to get to her and exhaustion set in, along with a heaviness in her heart that she had run from all day. It should have been Mulder who shopped with her for nursery supplies. It should be Mulder who assembled the changing table and bassinet. She sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of her nose as a headache began to make itself known. 

“You okay, Dana?” Bill asked, looking at her in concern. 

“Yeah, I’m alright,” she sighed. “It just…nothing. It’s nothing.” 

“Dana,” Bill said softly, putting his screw driver aside. “What is it?”

She looked into his eyes, wondering if she could share what was on her heart with him or if she should put on a brave face and brush it off. In his eyes, she saw the little boy who knew just how to push her buttons, but she also saw the little boy who wiped away her tears when she worried that their father wouldn’t make it home or when she fell off her bike and scraped her knee or when the boy down the street told her that he didn’t want to be her boyfriend. She knew that she could trust him with her tears once again. 

“Sometimes it just hits me how much I miss him,” Scully said, letting a tear fall down her cheek. 

“I’m sorry, Dana,” he offered sincerely, reaching out to wipe away the tear.

“I know that you didn’t like him, but he was good for me,” she said. “He made me see the world differently. He made me see myself differently. He was always on my side, even when we disagreed, and he always trusted me. He loved me. He loved me no matter what.” 

“It’s not that I didn’t like him, Dana,” Bill admitted. “It’s that I didn’t know him, and that’s my fault. I wasn’t willing to give him a chance. But I should have seen how happy he made you and I should have backed off. I’m sorry that I made things difficult for you. And for him.” 

Scully reached out and grabbed her brother’s hand. “It’s okay. I know that you were trying to protect me. Even if you were an ass,” she finished with a bit of a smile.

He let out a fake gasp. “Language,” he said in mock offense.

Scully bumped his shoulder companionably. “Like you don’t hear, and say, worse every day.” 

“Well you’re supposed to be a lady, a pregnant one at that. You know that baby can hear you right now,” he lectured, turning back to his work. 

“Oh, shove your righteousness where the sun doesn’t shine,” Scully said, successfully hitting the side of his head with more packing paper. 

After thirty more minutes of working, and arguing, the swing was finished and Scully gazed upon the nursery beginning to take shape. 

“Well, you’re getting close. How does it feel?” Bill asked.

Scully didn’t know if he was referring to the nursery or the impending birth, but either way, her answer remained the same.

“It feels good,” she said with a smile.


	39. Awakenings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during the events of 'DeadAlive.' 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

There was someone in her apartment. Scully could hear sounds coming from the kitchen and her heart pounded rapidly in her chest. She rushed to her bedside table to retrieve her gun but it wasn’t there. Where was her gun? That was where she always kept it. 

She heard it again; this time it was the loud crash of something breaking and then a voice. The voice she ached to hear. “Scully,” he called, causing her heart to jump to her throat. 

She made her way cautiously down the hallway and turned into the kitchen. There he was. He had a broom and was sweeping up the vestiges of a demolished plate. It was the most beautiful sight that she had ever seen. She wanted to weep when he turned and looked at her, but for some reason the tears wouldn’t come. 

“Hey Scully. Sorry, I had a little accident,” he said casually. 

“Mulder?” she whispered, hardly able to find her voice. 

“Look, this isn’t my fault,” he started before she interputed.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, confusion and joy battling in her mind. 

“What are you talking about, Scully? I told you at work that I was making dinner tonight. Lasagna, remember?”

“I don’t understand what’s happening,” Scully said, clutching the sides of her head. 

“Here,” Mulder said, pouring her a large glass of wine, “this will help.” 

“Mulder, I can’t drink. Not with the baby,” she reminded him, her brows still furrowed in confusion. 

“What baby?” he asked, turning his back on her as he began to pull ingredients from the pantry. 

Scully looked down to her stomach, somehow unsurprised to find it flat again. “I thought…I thought that I was pregnant,” she said faintly. 

“Baby, you can’t get pregnant,” he said in an offhand manner that sent a jolt of sorrow to her stomach. 

“I know, I know,” she said regretfully. “I just thought for a minute that we were going to have a baby.

“What would we do with a baby?” he asked, and suddenly they were no longer in her kitchen. They were in their office, but something was different. Instead of his office chair, Mulder was strapped naked to some huge contraption. Ungodly needles were piercing the skin of his face and chest. Over his shoulder, his ‘I want to believe’ poster taunted him as he cried out to her in pain. 

“Mulder!” Scully cried, rushing around the desk to him. She tried to free him from his restraints but it was useless. “Oh God, Mulder, I don’t know how to get you out,” she said in panic, afraid to touch his bare skin in fear of hurting him. 

That was when she heard the baby cry. It seemed to be coming from the storage closet at the far side of the room. Scully looked back to Mulder and then to the closed closet door in despair. What was she going to do? She couldn’t save both of them. 

But then she heard the cry again and found her feet moving rapidly toward the sound. She couldn’t let them hurt the baby. Scully swung open the door and rushed to the crib inside, but it was empty. There was no baby. The office was silent. 

Scully returned numbly to the desk but Mulder was gone. The device of his torture was still there, but there was no sign that he had ever been there.

She was alone. She was alone.

Scully woke with a start, sitting up quickly and groaning when her body made its discomfort known. Another dream. They had become more prevalent as her pregnancy progressed. She sighed and ran a hand over her belly, relief displacing the terror of the dream 

Lowering herself back to the bed, Scully reached for her most treasured possession: her body pillow. With six weeks until her due date, unsure how she could possibly get any bigger than she already was, Scully was finding it increasingly harder to sleep. Her beloved body pillow was the only thing that could provide her even a little physical comfort. She shoved it between her knees and under her belly, seeking some relief to the ever present pain in her lower back. 

This time however, her pillow let her down. After an hour of tossing and turning, Scully gave up and headed to the sofa. Propping her head on the arm of the couch and putting three throw pillows under her legs, she turned on the television, plowing through the scary landscape of late night TV. Then she found what she was looking for, the local sci-fi station coming through once again: ‘Plan 9 from Outer Space.’ 

It was a truly horrible movie, yet Scully must have watched at least six times since Mulder’s death. It made her feel close to him, and after the night’s dream, she needed that more than ever. She knew that one day she would watch it with their child and she would tell stories of a man named Fox Mulder. 

Eventually Scully did drop off to sleep, thankfully free of nightmares, and was awoken only by a steady knocking sound. Looking at the clock, she pulled herself off the couch and stumbled tiredly to the door. She opened it to find her mother looking prim and proper, ready for church. 

“Rough night?” Maggie asked with a smile, surveying her half awake daughter. 

“You could say that,” Scully answered, stepping back to let her mother in. “This child is determined to not let me get a full night’s sleep. I seriously don’t know how I’m going to make it another six weeks. He’s just going to get bigger!” she whined. 

Maggie laughed and guided Scully to sit back on the couch, pulling her swollen ankles up to rest on the coffee table. “You’ll make, Dana. You are almost there. So I guess this means you won’t make it to church this morning?”

“Sorry, Mom. The Sullivan sisters will have to aim their gossip elsewhere this morning.” 

“Oh they just found out that Kathleen’s son has a boyfriend, you’re old news.”

“That’s good to know,” Scully said with a laugh.

“How about we both play hooky this morning. What would you say to getting a late breakfast?” Maggie asked. 

Scully’s stomach growled loudly in response. “I guess there’s your answer,” she declared. 

*********************************

Scully had a nice morning catching up with her mother. The rest of the day was spent tidying the apartment and beginning to assemble the crib that had finally arrived. After a couple of hours that mainly consisted of her cursing whoever wrote the instruction booklet, Scully gave up and readied for bed. She was dead tired and hoped that alone would be enough to allow her to sleep despite her discomfort.

Sadly, she was wrong. 

***********************************

Scully returned home the next evening utterly exhausted. And worried. 

She was worried about the X-files and what would happen to them when she went on maternity leave. She was worried that Doggett would stay as much as she was worried that he would leave. She worried that he would lose everything to them just as she had. 

Her head hurt and her body ached, and after a quick dinner, Scully gave in and went straight to bed, praying that she would find some relief. After a couple of hours of tossing and turning and searching for a comfortable position, she finally fell into blissful sleep. 

Which was not meant to be. 

The phone rang, a shrilling noise that pulled Scully unceremoniously from her coveted slumber. 

She looked at the clock. 3:24am.

She looked at the caller ID. Skinner. 

She was going to kill him. 

“What the hell, Walter?” she said without greeting. 

“Scully, I’m sorry that I woke you, but something has happened.”

“Well it better be good,” she said, collapsing back on her pillows. 

“I don’t know how to tell you this,” he began, the seriousness in his voice alerting her.

“What is it?” Scully asked softly, preparing herself for bad news. 

“It’s Billy Miles. His body was found in the Atlantic by fishermen. He could have been there for weeks, but when the coroner began the autopsy, he discovered that he was alive. His body is decomposing, but he is on life support. The doctors don’t know if he’ll ever wake up, but his heart is beating.”

“My God. I don’t…I don’t understand,” Scully said, on her feet and pacing, her heart hammering in her chest. 

“Scully, listen to me, I need you to sit down,” Skinner said softly, his worry for her evident.

She perched herself on the edge of the bed, clutching her belly protectively. “What has happened?” she asked in a shaky voice. 

“I had Mulder’s body exhumed,” Skinner said slowly, hearing her loud intake of breath. “He is on life support. His heart is beating. He’s alive.”


	40. Waking Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, your comments, and putting up with my long waits between chapters!
> 
> Takes place during the events of 'DeadAlive.'

Scully didn’t know what to do with herself. She dressed in about two minutes and was now waiting. Skinner had convinced her to let him send a car, but she presently regretted that decision. She needed to do something, even it was just driving. Instead she paced. When that began to hurt her swollen ankles, she sat and tapped her foot incessantly. 

She hadn’t cried yet. Truthfully she didn’t know what was going on in her own mind. It didn’t seem believable. It wasn’t possible and she couldn’t allow herself to hope. She wouldn’t survive if it weren’t true. 

Finally the car arrived, and with it came her first tear. 

********************************

She saw his face. This face she never thought she’d see again. 

She felt his heart beat. The heart that she had thought would forever be still.

She was way past hope. 

**********************************

He awoke to her face. Not the first time that had happened. 

God, she was so beautiful. Even as the tears cascaded down her face. So beautiful. 

He cracked a joke as was his habit when trying to diffuse a tense situation. She’d forgive him. He had feeling that he could do anything at the moment and she would forgive him. 

Her head rested on his chest, and he could feel her tears soak through his hospital gown. He didn’t know what had happened to him, but it must have been bad. He must have given her yet another scare. 

But it didn’t matter at the moment. Her head was on his chest and he was tired. So he slept.

He felt no fear. Her head was on his chest and she made him feel safe. 

************************************

His first night as a living human being again, Fox Mulder had the first of what would be many nightmares. The images were hazy but the pain felt real. As he regained consciousness, the nightmare itself dissolved, but the fear remained. 

When Mulder awoke scared and confused, it was not her eyes that found him, but rather the tired, perpetually slightly pissed off eyes of one Walter Skinner. 

Mulder groaned, his body felt heavy and sore. Just lifting his head brought on a bought of pain and dizziness. His heart fell when he quickly surveyed the room and she was nowhere to be found. 

“Where’s Scully?” he croaked, his throat dry and rough. 

“She went home, or more accurately I made her go home for a little sleep. She’d been going for over 24 hours and was beat.”

“Wouldn’t have been the first time,” Mulder mused, irrationally disappointed that she hadn’t stayed until he woke up. 

“Yeah, well I figured that in her condition it probably wasn’t the best idea,” Skinner said gruffly, not at all surprised that it had taken Mulder all of two minutes to already get on his nerves. 

“What condition?” Mulder asked in confusion, not sure if he was missing something or simply still off from being unconscious. 

Skinner cursed himself silently as he realized that he had almost once again spilled the beans. Beans that were not his to spill. 

“Listen, that doesn’t matter right now,” he said quickly. “What do you remember?” 

Mulder cleared his throat as he tried to sift through his last memories. “Um, I remember we were in the woods. I heard you calling for me and I saw a bright light, but that’s all I can recall. What happened to me?” 

“We’re not entirely sure, Mulder. We were hoping that you could help us piece it all together, but you disappeared that night. You were abducted. You were missing for months, and then we found your body. You were dead, and we buried you. She buried you. But then Billy Miles showed up, dead but also alive. I had your body exhumed and you were the same. Now here you are. You are alive.”

Mulder’s head spun. What was this crazy bastard talking about? He hadn’t died. He didn’t know what happened to him, but he thought that he would know if he had died. If his mind hadn’t already been in a fog from the medication, he would have given Skinner a piece of his mind. 

But then before he could say anything, the door opened and she was there. Mulder sighed in relief when his eyes met hers and his fears and uncertainty melted away. She had a way of doing that. Just her presence could bring him such peace and understanding. Or at least it used to. 

Just as a soft smile appeared on his face, Mulder recognized apprehension in her eyes. His brow furrowed in concern and then he took in her appearance. In that moment every thought in his mind melded into a mass of bewilderment and confusion. He didn’t understand. He didn’t understand anything and the fear brought about by his nightmare seemed to crash down on him. His heart rate increased and his hands shook. He had never had a panic attack, but he was beginning to feel like this must be one. 

How long had he been gone? What was happening? Had the world moved on without him? Maybe he had been dead. Maybe no one had missed him after all. 

Scully recognized his panic face and rushed to his side as quickly as possible. “Hey, you’re awake,” she said softly, running her fingers gently down his face. She wanted to be here before he woke so she could break the news to him gently, but them being them, it had to happen more dramatically than that. 

Mulder closed his eyes against the thoughts running wildly through is head and tried to concentrate on her fingers against his face. But fear won out.

“What happened to me?” he asked quietly, finally opening his eyes to see her worried face. 

“I don’t know, Mulder,” she whispered despite the fact that Skinner had already snuck out of the room. “You were gone. For a long time you were gone, but now you’re here. That’s all that matters right now. You’re here.” 

“How long?” he croaked, more afraid of the answer than of anything in his life. Had she moved on without him? That’s what he really wanted to ask. 

“Six months, it’s been six months,” she said, understanding his concerns but not knowing how to address them. How to put him at ease when his world has been turned upside down. 

Mulder pondered her words, but still didn’t understand them. He didn’t understand anything that was happening to him. He didn’t understand how his life had so radically changed when he didn’t feel different. It was too much. He couldn’t take it, not right now, and he longed for unconsciousness again.

“I think, I think I’m tired. I’m just going to go back to sleep,” he said, knowing how lame his words sounded but desperate to get away from everything, from her.

“Okay,” Scully said reassuringly, plastering a smile on her face to cover her worry for him. “Sleep now, I’ll be here when you wake up.” 

“It’s okay, Scully. You can go home. I’m fine,” Mulder answered turning onto his side, his back to her. 

“I’ll be her when you wake up,” she repeated, firmly this time. 

Mulder nodded and buried his face into his flat hospital pillow. He curled into a ball and closed his eyes and his mind off from the world. From a world that no longer made sense to him.


	41. Returned

Apparently, only a three day long hospitalization was necessary when one has come back from the dead, but for once in his life, Fox Mulder wouldn’t have minded staying longer. It felt easier to hide his fears and confusions, and himself, from the inside of a hospital bed. If things became uncomfortable between him and Scully, which seemed to constantly happen, he could pretend to need sleep. If he was poised questions that he couldn’t or didn’t know how to answer, he could pretend to need sleep. If it all became too overwhelming, he could pretend to need sleep. But if he was deemed well enough to go home, he would have to become somewhat functional again. Once he was back in the world, he couldn’t keep pretending that none of this was real. 

Because it was real. That was proven the first time he saw himself in a mirror. The scars on his face and hands. Scully assured him that they were fading, but it wasn’t fast enough in his estimation. And the ten inch scar on his chest. God, what had they done to him? 

Memories were coming back in the form of nightmares and waking flashes. It was never much, just a scene here, an overwhelming feeling of fear there, but it was getting worse. And he didn’t want to talk about it. As much as Scully asked him, he didn’t want to discuss it all. How could he tell her that he was beginning to remember what it felt like to have his skin pierced, his chest cut open? How could he convey to her the memories of the fear he felt, not just for himself but for her, that she might end up here too? How could he tell Scully that he was pretty sure that at some point he had given up, that he had prayed for death? 

He knew that she could infer that some memories were returning and that they were troubling him, but how could he talk to her about such things? He couldn’t put her through that. He couldn’t even talk to her about the proverbial elephant in the room. (A phrase he best not use in front of her if he wished to walk out of this hospital of his own volition). There were so many questions he had, and he was a coward because he was afraid of the answers. He was afraid that the baby wasn’t his. He knew better than to believe that there was another man, but another try at IVF was always a possibility. They were going to look into adoption, but what if she decided to give it another shot on her own. What if she didn’t want him involved? Especially now with the state he was in. 

But she wouldn’t have done that. She wouldn’t have gone behind his back. Which led to another fear. What if the baby was his. How could it be possible? He told her to not give up on a miracle, but did he really believe it? He believed in a lot of fantastical things, but could he accept it as a miracle from God? And what did he know about being a father? He could barely take a piss on his own right now, he couldn’t take care of another human being. And it’s not like his father was a great example. For a while, he thought that they could do this, be parents, but all it took was him dying to see the truth. He would only screw a kid up. Which again brought up the question, what if she didn’t want him to be involved? 

He couldn’t talk to her about it. Not now. It was too much. 

*********************************************************

Home. The doctor said he was progressing well and could go home. Scully smiled to herself at the thought as she made up the bed. She had gone to her apartment for a few hours of needed sleep, but when she returned it would be with Mulder. Things had been admittedly awkward between them. She could see that he was struggling with his returning memories and the changes that had taken place in his absence. And they hadn’t yet talked about the baby, he certainly hadn’t brought it up, in fact he seemed a little scared to even look at her, but Scully was confident that once he got home he would be comfortable enough to let her broach the subject. 

Things wouldn’t be easy; she knew that he, they, had a lot to work through, but they would get through this latest hurdle just like they always did. Together. 

Scully did a quick sweep of the apartment, making sure everything was ready for him. She’d have to restock the pantry with his favorite food, but it was enough for now. 

Once she arrived at the hospital she had a quick talk with the doctor before finding Mulder to tell him the good news of his miraculous recovery. But he didn’t seem to think much of it. Sure he made jokes but she knew that was how he deflected. He seemed so small and unsure and she just wanted to wrap her arms around him and never let go. She hadn’t so much as touched him since that first night when he awoke, he shrunk away when she came close, but she knew that things would change when they got out of the hospital and were somewhere that he felt safe. He had always hated hospitals so she knew how anxious he would be to get out of there. 

“Are you ready to go home?” she asked with a soft smile after the doctor left. 

“Um, yeah,” he said, clearing his throat and not making eye contact. “Do I still have an apartment?”

Scully paused, surprised that he’d want to go back there considering he had all but moved into her apartment. She’d prefer they stay at her place, it would definitely be more comfortable for her to have all her things, but if he wanted to go to his apartment then she’d put up with a night away from her body pillow. 

“Yes,” she answered, “I just kept paying your rent. I couldn’t bear to pack it up. I felt like if I gave it up that I was giving you up.” 

“Thanks,” Mulder said, still not looking at her, “I’ll pay you back the rent.”

“Mulder,” she laughed softly, shaking her head. He looked up, confused at her reaction and Scully felt uneasiness in her stomach. She was afraid this was going to be a lot harder than she had imagined. Because she had imagined having him back so, so many times. “Let’s just get you ready to go.” 

*******************************************************

He let her carry his bag. What a jerk. Sure it was light, but still, what a jerk. 

Mulder had always been great at berating himself, but suddenly he had plenty of material. Everything he said to her was wrong, idiotic. Every way he looked at her or didn’t look at her, acted toward her, thought about her… He hated himself more and more every minute that he was alive, again. 

He convinced himself that he needed space. He needed a moment to breath away from doctors and nurses, and…her. He knew it would hurt her. He knew that he was hurting her. She tried to tell him what it was like for her when he was gone and he brushed her off. He could tell that she was trying to bring up the baby and in a panic he turned cold, using words like ‘you’ rather than ‘us.’ 

Happy for you. What it means to you. He could see the effect that his words were having on her but he just kept going. Distancing himself as a means of self preservation. And then that little line about where he fit in, that was the kicker. Scully looked ready to either cry or murder him for his words. But the truth was, he didn’t say it just to push her away, he was truly afraid that he didn’t fit in anymore. Not at work. Not with her and her new life. 

Mulder could feel a panic attack trying to start and he had to get her out of there before he completely fell apart. 

“Hey Scully,” he said, feeling like he was interrupting what was likely to be a long speech about where exactly he fit in, “thanks for giving me a lift home. I’m just really tired and I think I’ll go to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow okay? Maybe we can work on getting me reinstated to the X-files.” 

Scully opened her mouth and then closed it. He had become pretty good at reading her moods and he could see a storm of emotion behind her eyes. But he couldn’t do this. Not now. 

“Are you okay to get home by yourself,” he asked hurriedly. “Do I need to call a cab?”

“No, Mulder,” she finally said. “I’m fine. I guess I’ll just see you tomorrow.”

She made her way to the door and the last thing he heard before the click was a whispered, “Welcome home.” 

********************************************************

Is it still considered homicide if the person is legally dead? That’s what Scully asked herself as she drove too fast toward Georgetown. 

“That bastard. How dare he act like he doesn’t know that he belongs with me?” she said aloud as her hand slammed down on the steering wheel in frustration. “How can he pretend that this baby is only my doing? Well if he wants to be alone, he can be alone,” she said, throwing the car into park before making her way angrily to her apartment.

She slammed the front door, but it didn’t make her feel any better, in fact it seemed to have the opposite effect. As she sunk down onto the couch, her anger melted into sorrow. 

Was this how it was going to be? Was he going to just pretend that their lives in the months prior to his disappearance hadn’t happened? Did he not want this baby that she had prayed for? Did he not want her? How could he do this? 

“Stop!” Scully said aloud, willing herself to go no further with that destructive train of thought. He didn’t say any of those things. He said himself that he was having trouble processing everything. She had to give him time. She had no idea what he had been through but it was traumatic and he needed time. 

She was mad and heartbroken but she couldn’t show that. Right now he needed her to be his rock. She could do that. He needed something to put his back up against and that could be her. She would go to him tomorrow and be whatever he needed her to be. 

Her resolve got her through the rest of the night, but when sleep would not come, her sadness returned. Finally giving up, Scully let the tears out. She cried into her pillow for all that they had lost, that they might never get back. He was back, but he wasn’t and it almost felt like losing him all over again. She hugged her body pillow tight and imagined it was him. It should be him.

In all of her fantasies that she never dreamed would actually come true, it was him.


End file.
